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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Was I wrong at this gig?

118 replies

NotabigdealbutWWYD · 27/04/2025 11:06

Not the hugest deal in the world, I think I was right, dp thinks I was wrong, and friends are about 50/50 so just curious as to what others think.

I was recently at a standing gig. Queued for a couple of hours to get in and get a good spot.

I'm not exactly tall myself (5ft 5") and managed to get very near the front.

About half way through this woman basically shoves me, I turn around and she pointed to go in front of me.

There was about 2 inches of space between me and the person in front, so I said "sorry there's no space", she pointed at the 2 inches of space and suggested I move back. I, politely at this point, refused, and she started shouting "but I'm small, it's not fair, you could see over me" etc. She was only about an inch shorter than me. It went back and forth like this for a minute.

I was pissed off by this point so I said it wasn't my problem and off she went after shoving me again and calling me a cunt.

I felt justified in the end because she was horrible, but dp thinks I should have just let her go in front, as do a few other people.

Should I have just let a smaller person go in front of me or was I right?

YABU - I should have let her go

YANBU - I was right not to move.

(I was with my DIL who is my height, but if I'm with my son who's 6ft 4" we do stand off to the side so I like to think I'm not an inconsiderate arsehole at gigs)

OP posts:
MoominMai · 27/04/2025 11:44

Well I wouldn’t describe you as short as you’re a couple inches over the average female UK height whereas I’m barely 5ft 😅. That said, that’s why as a shortie, I ensure I wangle my way through the crowd carefully to find a good spot with reasonable space around me. I’ve never had to actually ask anyone to move though as that suggests there isn’t actually space around them for you to fit in. So no YANBU. She sounds like an entitled drunk woman and it’s good yiu stood your ground!

Springhassprungxx · 27/04/2025 11:44

You were 100% right op.

sandrapinchedmysandwich · 27/04/2025 11:46

Cornetto3 · 27/04/2025 11:09

Of course you weren't.

If she wanted that space she should got there before you.

This. Cheeky cow. She should have got there earlier like you had the foresight to. And she should not have been shoving you either.

Original poster
NotabigdealbutWWYD · 27/04/2025 11:47

Thanks all.

Dp very much tries to take the path of least resistance with a lot of things, so that's why he thinks I should have just moved for a quiet life, quite a few of our friends agree that I should have just let her go in front, save any bother.

I'm kind of coming to the end of my standing gigs era I think, but I have spent the last 30 years in mosh pits, so a bit of shoving doesn't bother me. She was so needlessly rude though. She just declared she was short and stared at me like it was my problem, she really wasn't even that short though.

OP posts:
sandrapinchedmysandwich · 27/04/2025 11:48

TourangaLeila · 27/04/2025 11:11

Standing gigs there are no "rules" I would have just shoved in front of you if that's where I wanted to be 😂

Then you are an absolute cheeky fucker. Who the hell do you think you are shoving in front of people like that? You don't behave like that anywhere ffs

Hastentoadd · 27/04/2025 11:50

NotabigdealbutWWYD · 27/04/2025 11:47

Thanks all.

Dp very much tries to take the path of least resistance with a lot of things, so that's why he thinks I should have just moved for a quiet life, quite a few of our friends agree that I should have just let her go in front, save any bother.

I'm kind of coming to the end of my standing gigs era I think, but I have spent the last 30 years in mosh pits, so a bit of shoving doesn't bother me. She was so needlessly rude though. She just declared she was short and stared at me like it was my problem, she really wasn't even that short though.

Did she give you the prolonged silent stare,

This is after becoming very popular with bullies / rude entitled people

If someone does it to me I stare back with the same intensity and don’t comply with their request

Original poster
NotabigdealbutWWYD · 27/04/2025 11:51

Hastentoadd · 27/04/2025 11:50

Did she give you the prolonged silent stare,

This is after becoming very popular with bullies / rude entitled people

If someone does it to me I stare back with the same intensity and don’t comply with their request

Show quote history

She did at one point.

She said "but I'm small though" and stared at me, I just shrugged, turned around and carried on dancing 🤣

OP posts:
Cucy · 27/04/2025 11:52

I do think shorter people should be allowed at the front but surely you wasn’t the only person at the front and so why didn’t she ask someone else.

If you are genuinely only an inch taller than her then she was wrong to even ask you.

She sounds very rude though and I’m glad you didn’t move for her.

Neveragain35 · 27/04/2025 11:53

You were absolutley right! I feel like I’m in my second gig-going era now the kids are older and have been to quite a few gigs recently. I hate it when people push past you claiming they’re just trying to get to their friends, then essentially just stand right in front of you 😡 Just stand your ground and ignore!

MoominMai · 27/04/2025 11:53

sandrapinchedmysandwich · 27/04/2025 11:48

Then you are an absolute cheeky fucker. Who the hell do you think you are shoving in front of people like that? You don't behave like that anywhere ffs

Show quote history

Urgh right! Im barely 5ft, and an easy target for getting shoved at gigs. Your £5 drink goes flying and you’re all sticky for remainder of the gig while dickheads like @TourangaLeila carry on oblivious. My only comfort is people like her at some point will pick on the wrong person which usually damp ends down their cockiness 🙄

SaladSandwichesForTea · 27/04/2025 11:55

You said no.

50% of your friends would have said yes. Logically 50% of the rest of the venue would have let her. So she could have asked someone else instead of carrying on with you. Sorry she ruined your night.

Justyouwaitandseeagain · 27/04/2025 11:56

I think you were 100% right. I wouldn't have an issue with her asking but you were totally within your rights to say no. People can be so entitled these days. There is really only one band where I now attempt to stand close to the front as I know I can generally trust the fans around me to be respectful. I know it isn't like that at other gigs.

intrepidpanda · 27/04/2025 11:56

Smaller people don't get dibs on the front
Best elbows wins imo

Doteycat · 27/04/2025 11:57

Tbh, I wouldnt have even responded when she pointed, i wouldnt have acknowledge that she was asking me to move. I would have ignored her, and moved more into the 2 inches free. I would not have even dignified her entitled pointing with any kind of recognition that I knew what she was asking.

Hitchinkitchen · 27/04/2025 11:57

I’m a shortie so I’d never want to stand at a concert. I’d also hate to stand anyway, from the comfort point of view. However, the seats aren’t exactly the last word either.

Judashascomeintosomemoney · 27/04/2025 11:59

Surprised she bothered asking tbh, most people these days seem to shove as a first option not second.

Bikechic · 27/04/2025 12:02

I'm sure there were taller people than you she could've asked.

Flocke · 27/04/2025 12:03

TourangaLeila · 27/04/2025 11:11

Standing gigs there are no "rules" I would have just shoved in front of you if that's where I wanted to be 😂

As long as you don’t mind being shoved back then no problem.
I once queued for 11 hours to get to the front of a concert. I’m not small. I’m 5ft7. But I earned my spot at the front row. Someone tried to get in front of me. Tried digging their elbow in my side, was digging something (maybe an umbrella) into my back, thumped their hand down on mine which was on the barrier. So I just lifted my leg and kicked backwards as hard as I could a couple of times. They gave up and moved on. I was quite surprised really that the behaviour I’d seen when going to see this band in the 90s was exactly the same despite the audience now mainly being 40+ year old women. But yeah if you shove me I’ll shove back harder.

itsgettingweird · 27/04/2025 12:04

I’m 5”7. Not a chance in hell would queue hours for a gig (that in general anyway!) but if I did I would not be working my way backwards just because of my height which is something I didn’t choose nor can control.

If she wants a front spot queue like everyone else who wanted one!

sandrapinchedmysandwich · 27/04/2025 12:05

MoominMai · 27/04/2025 11:53

Urgh right! Im barely 5ft, and an easy target for getting shoved at gigs. Your £5 drink goes flying and you’re all sticky for remainder of the gig while dickheads like @TourangaLeila carry on oblivious. My only comfort is people like her at some point will pick on the wrong person which usually damp ends down their cockiness 🙄

Show quote history

It's so fucking rude and arrogant. 2 women tried this at a recent concert I went to a bit along from where I was standing when the main act came on. Before this they had obviously been availing themselves of the bar. Noone let them in despite their shoving and they ended up a few rows from the front which is still better than they deserved.

intrepidpanda · 27/04/2025 12:05

Sounds like a very polite gig that someone actually asked.
The gigs I go to if you want down the front, you just push in.
Hate prissy I was here first gigs.

Flocke · 27/04/2025 12:06

Cucy · 27/04/2025 11:52

I do think shorter people should be allowed at the front but surely you wasn’t the only person at the front and so why didn’t she ask someone else.

If you are genuinely only an inch taller than her then she was wrong to even ask you.

She sounds very rude though and I’m glad you didn’t move for her.

The problem is what about short people with tall friends/husbands? You KNOW these people will say well I’m not going to stand by myself I want to be with my friends so they need to come with me!
My mum was 5ft3. My dad 6ft2. How would that work at a gig if they were together?

sandrapinchedmysandwich · 27/04/2025 12:08

intrepidpanda · 27/04/2025 12:05

Sounds like a very polite gig that someone actually asked.
The gigs I go to if you want down the front, you just push in.
Hate prissy I was here first gigs.

Wow. So you think it's fair to push in front of someone who has queued for hours when you haven't? It's not about being 'prissy'. It's arsehole arrogant behaviour

CMOTDibbler · 27/04/2025 12:11

I'm tall, and like to be down the front and would still have told her no. Rules of standing gigs are you only owe people a move for safety - so I make room for people going out, or to get them away from mosh pits opening up.

cardibach · 27/04/2025 12:11

Half the fun of standing gigs is working yourself towards the front like a ninja when people take their eye off the ball! Asking spoils the fun and shoving is unnecessary behaviour.