Was I wrong at this gig?

[NotabigdealbutWWYD]

Not the hugest deal in the world, I think I was right, dp thinks I was wrong, and friends are about 50/50 so just curious as to what others think.

I was recently at a standing gig. Queued for a couple of hours to get in and get a good spot.

I'm not exactly tall myself (5ft 5") and managed to get very near the front.

About half way through this woman basically shoves me, I turn around and she pointed to go in front of me.

There was about 2 inches of space between me and the person in front, so I said "sorry there's no space", she pointed at the 2 inches of space and suggested I move back. I, politely at this point, refused, and she started shouting "but I'm small, it's not fair, you could see over me" etc. She was only about an inch shorter than me. It went back and forth like this for a minute.

I was pissed off by this point so I said it wasn't my problem and off she went after shoving me again and calling me a cunt.

I felt justified in the end because she was horrible, but dp thinks I should have just let her go in front, as do a few other people.

Should I have just let a smaller person go in front of me or was I right?

YABU - I should have let her go

YANBU - I was right not to move.

(I was with my DIL who is my height, but if I'm with my son who's 6ft 4" we do stand off to the side so I like to think I'm not an inconsiderate arsehole at gigs)

In my extensive gig going experience this isn’t unusual. In my younger days I was able to dedicate time to queuing and secure barrier spots and have been effectively assaulted by other women who felt they deserved the spot more than me. Basically by trying to make me so uncomfortable that I’d move, eg climbing up my back, levering themselves up using my shoulders, shouting in my ear. Didn’t work, I used my large arse to my advantage and stood my ground. . Sadly, most of the bad behaviour/etiquette I’ve experienced at gigs has been by other women. Drunk/lary lads in the mosh pit have rarely been an issue and are usually “sorry love” if they bump into me too hard. I’ve only been assaulted once by a man (groping) who fucked off quickly when I employed my elbows and then turned round to confront him.

As I’ve got older/responsibilities have meant I’m not had the time to queue to get a barrier spot, but I’ve also accepted this means I need to accept that sometimes usually I get stuck behind a 6ft+ chap who spent all his time at the bar during the support act and joins his shorter friend(s) just as the lights go down for the main act. I can usually get a spot near the front at the side without blocking anyone else and still enjoying the atmosphere.

yep i’d do the same. I position my legs so they can’t stand infront of me. I am 46 i’ve been going to standing gigs as a teen and it’s rude drunk or not. Some people queue for hours to get good spots.

Same for the people that come in late buy 4 pints and try to push their way to the front while spilling beer over everyone.

I’m 5’4 and it’s a nightmare when you’re stood in a good spot and a very obviously much taller person (95% of the time, a man) comes and stands RIGHT in front of you when there’s space elsewhere, but in this case it sounds like you were already there? So the onus is on her to find a better spot. And either way, she certainly shouldn’t be “shoving” you! What’s that all about?

Goodness me. I've never been to a gig and definitely never will after reading this. Some of you sound like wild animals.

Of course you weren't unreasonable - standing gigs are first come, first served. If others have got there before you to get a better view then tough shit.

I am 5'10"- am I supposed to stand right at the very back regardless of how early I arrive just so people shorter than me can see? thats hardly fair either is it? by this rationale, I'd always have the worst or furthest view of anyone

If someone right behind me couldnt see and asked me politely, I probably would move, however, I am not moving when someone is rude and entitled about it. I respond to polite requests, not demands.

I’m 5ft 3 and I often joke that I have heard a lot of bands but not actually seen most of them.
I also have 30 years of gigs under my belt, and edging your way into obvious gaps was acceptable but not pushing in where there really wasn’t space and the only time I have ever asked to swap places with someone is at festivals if my kids couldn’t see. But usually we just move around until we find a decent spot.

Gig/crowd etiquette has gone to shit.
You were not wrong, and while I wouldn’t mind being asked I would not appreciate attitude if I said no.

In a standing gig? You have zero entitlement to space, its wall to wall with people touching, moving and shoving its the entire nature of the situation. Gap keepers actually cause serious physical danger of falls during crowd surges + take up huge space with their entitlement.

Being that 'don't touch me twat' is a great way to get EVERYONE around you to elbow you until you tap out... theres no room for prissy 'stay out of my bubble' people in a crush, book seats or stand at the back if you dont want to be touched.

OP wasn't in the wrong to say no, close the gap to not let her in or even shove her backward but you don't get to demand your own spacial space in the pits.

YANBU even if she’d asked nicely it’s just par for the course at standing gigs.

I’m 5ft 10 and got tapped on the shoulder at a gig by a woman telling me her friend couldn’t see. Bearing in mind we were standing sort of halfway back and off to the side, we weren’t exactly in a prime position anyway. I told her I didn’t know what she wanted me to do about it 🤷🏼‍♀️

Don't be disingenuous. No one's suggesting that's possible. But a bit of basic courtesy/give and take goes a long way in this situation. And people can be surprisingly accommodating if they're approached right in the first place.

I'm 5 foot nothing. I'll queue for six or more hours, if necessary, to get on the front. Once I'm there I ain't budging from that barrier or edge of stage. People with a front row spot rarely do. There are no neat rows behind me in stalls, so tbh I think people have to expect a bit of jostling.

If she'd asked nicely you might have offered to take it in turns to stand in front. Shoving you is not on and I don't blame you for refusing.

Reading some of the comments on this thread has made me very glad that standing gigs aren't my scene and that I'm unlikely ever to find myself at one. Sounds like some people see them as an excuse for rudeness and mayhem.

YWNBU. If she was only an inch shorter than you, her big stupid head would have blocked your view, so why should you have a worse view so she could have a better one? Being short isn't a guarantee that you'll stand at the front, surely!

Hmm I think its more like "I didn't see the dishes"
ie "I saw this perfectly well but considered it not to be a problem and instantly dismissed it"

I can't do standing gigs due to back pain, and reading some of these posts I'm not exactly sorry, although I'd like to believe it's a minority of people who act like this. DH and I go to 80s festivals, which given the age demographic are far more civilised and we take garden chairs 😂 though even there there's the odd bit of arsehole behaviour as is inevitable where humans and booze converge.

wtf are you talking about? It’s universally known that if you want to stand at the front then you get in line early and wait. You don’t turn up late and try to shove your way in. Nothing prissy about it at all.

There's moving with the crowd and then there's unnecessary shoving, though. Not the same thing.

Depressing that more than one person on this thread has described basic consideration for others as 'prissy'.

If I'm standing at the front waiting for a gig to begin, and there's a gap next to me, if I spot someone similarly short like me behind, I'll encourage them to join us fellow short arses on the front. 😁 One gig I was at, there was a lass about 4'8 or 9"; we were all ushering her to get right up to the front as she rightfully should have been. 🙂

Like fuck would I move! If you let her in front, suddenly all and sundry will try and cut in and, before you know it, you're back near the entrance! 😂

This scenario is an unfortunate consequence of 'standing' at gigs and is the main reason why I always get seated tickets.

No, that was my point. The rude woman should have waited until someone did and then nabbed their space!

Given how rude she was, I wouldn't have moved either!

This! That comment was obviously made by someone who always arrives late and thinks they can just bulldoze their way in. Clue: you can't!

She shoved you? Nice. That's an instant no from me for any assistance

Sorry short people but i think it’s bad luck if you can’t see at standing gigs. Just like it’s bad luck for us tall people that can’t fit our legs in at sitting gigs.

She must have been incredibly skinny to be able to stand in a two inch gap. You were right not to move OP, You queued for ages to secure your place ……… snooze and you lose!!

I think she was mebbe hoping that someone would drop back at either or both edges, ten in a bed stylee. 😁