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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

For wanting to complain about this member of staff in Sainsburys - sorry long

142 replies

sillybut · 17/05/2008 18:47

I went to Sainsburys yesterday with my DD. I wasn't feeling too well so wanted to get in and out as quick as possible and had a short list of things we really needed. About half way round I started feeling awful - I was sick, couldn't feel parts of my body and everything had gone all blurry. DD was really scared but had the sense to run up to a member of staff and say "my mummy's not very well" (she's only 2+7). The woman turned round to her and said "she's just drunk you've got a really stupid mummy have't you" then she came up to me and told me I should leave the store immediately and take my child before she called the police.

By this time I couldn't talk properly, was crying with pain and could hardly walk. I knew by that stage I had a full blown migraine such as I've only had twice in my life before. I was mortified about being sick. Another woman stopped and said she was a nurse and and after that I don't remember much until I foundmyself in an ambulance with a very scared DD and the lovely nurse who'd insisted on cming to teh hospital with me.

I probably looked drunk but should I complain about the woman's reaction? DD keeps saying "mummy was sick and lady was horrid to me" and crying.

OP posts:
takemyMILoffmyhands · 18/05/2008 11:39

OH MY GOD!!!!!

Go back when you are feeling better and ram her head into the freezer. silly bitch.

Reminds me of the time I fainted and was sick with morning sickness and upon waking found people discussing my drink problem. eh???

StealthPolarBear · 18/05/2008 11:40

I think YABU
Sorry, couldn't resist the oportunity to be the odd one out

YaNbu and i hope you're feeling better, as well as your dd - what a shock for her, what a little star! your letter sounds fine - not sure what you mean by "diabetic swing"? apologies if this is just terminology i'm not aware of

MARGOsBeenPlayingWithMyNooNoo · 18/05/2008 11:40

very clear - I hope they react quickly.

HereComeTheGirls · 18/05/2008 11:41

Great letter....many years ago when I was at school an older boy died, he had a heart condition and collapsed in the street..noone helped him because they assumed he was drunk Hope that awful woman gets a kick up the backside at the very least!!

ButterflyBessie · 18/05/2008 11:41

Good letter, but, do a spell check first - diabetic is one glaring mistake and there are others, and put a cc at the bottom to your local paper, mp and if you really want to piss them off, why not a national paper - it is appalling behaviour and should be highlighted as such

Original poster
sillybut · 18/05/2008 11:43

Thanks - butterflybessie - dd was helping me type it LOL!! My spelling is pretty appalling at the best of times.

Good idea to add in the details of the nurse I'll do that

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 18/05/2008 11:46

as a pedant can i point out there should be an apostrophe in this bit:

" am very concerned that your staff members attitude "

i never know whether to mention this stuff or whether people just haven't yet checked iyswim. But i'd want pople to tell me for a formal letter.

btw i am a pedant who has many typos

ButterflyBessie · 18/05/2008 11:46

40 odd years ago my mother collapsed in the street suffering a migraine, people stepped over her because they thought she was drunk .

Nail the bitch, she deserves it, you are so right, no one should treat your dd in that way.

I hope you are feeling better now, I know how debilitating they are

nobodyputsBBinthecorner · 18/05/2008 11:54

my friend collapsed in toys r us, heavily pg, and people stepped over her, including staff!! wheres the common decensy eh?

StealthPolarBear · 18/05/2008 11:56

BB, are you a name changing regular?

3littlefrogs · 18/05/2008 11:57

Years ago my sister collapsed with a serious neurolgical condition. Thank God she had a friend with her who managed to get her home (on the bus). Passers by just assumed she was drunk. She was in hospital for weeks, she could have died. There is a severe shortage of common sense and compassion.

StealthPolarBear · 18/05/2008 12:00
Sad
nobodyputsBBinthecorner · 18/05/2008 12:03

Stealth, im a regular have name changed but not all that recently, always centres around BB too mainly on the coception boards atm as ttc #1!

StealthPolarBear · 18/05/2008 12:04

just asking as i don't 'recognise' you but have seen you around loads recently.
good luck with the ttcing!

nobodyputsBBinthecorner · 18/05/2008 12:15

lol thanks! been Mn-ing since dec, but only just got net at home,. so on loads more now

AllFallDown · 18/05/2008 12:24

You must cc it to the chief exec, too.

Blu · 18/05/2008 12:35

It's a good letter, but quote the woman exactly , as you do in your OP: "woman turned round to her and said "she's just drunk you've got a really stupid mummy have't you" then she came up to me and told me I should leave the store immediately and take my child before she called the police."

"The lady informed my daugther that I was drunk and I was a silly mummy. She then approached me and requested that I should leave the store before the police were called" takes refuge in 'officialese' and being in passive case is less of a direct witness statement. What she actually said is more powerful and direct.

Good luck.

So sorry you and your dd has=d such a horrible experience - but be proud that you have raised a confident child who knows what to do in an emergency.

evenhope · 18/05/2008 12:47

What a horrible situation, but well done to your DD for reacting so sensibly.

As for your letter, if I were you I would change a couple of minor points. In your paragraph starting

"Please can you identify the member of staff"

I would change the "can you" to "will you"- it is much stronger. Also the second "can you" in the next sentence I would change to "will" and lose the please.

"An urgent response would be appreciated please." is a passive sentence. It needs to say "I would appreciate your early response", and again lose the please.

Otherwise I think you've covered it nicely

TBH as you were taken away in an ambulance I would have expected the store manager to have contacted you by now and sent some flowers. Am a bit that he hasn't.

TooTicky · 18/05/2008 12:52

Omg your poor little girl, and poor you!!! Do let us know the outcome.

lollipopmother · 18/05/2008 14:07

God that is disgusting behaviour.

carolcupcake · 18/05/2008 14:23

I'm so shocked that she didn't help you!

I have to say I would stop and help someone even if they WERE drunk. Seeing someone who needs help, how can people just ignore it?

PuppyMonkey · 18/05/2008 14:28

Send the letter to your local newspaper too won't you? Shame the store into carrying out a full investigation.

clam · 18/05/2008 15:31

Evenhope raises a good point. Why on EARTH hasn;t the store manager contacted you? That's another bad mark for Sainsbury's. Do let us know what response you get.

mrsleroyjethrogibbs · 18/05/2008 15:38

what an appaling thing to have happened.
Regardless of whether you were drunk or not it is inappropriate to say such things either to you or more importantly to your child.It beggers belief that someone who represents the 'front line' of a company can behave in such an irresponsible and inexcuseable manner.

seriously ...who is the grown up in this instance? It certainly wasnt the sainsburys lady.

wooga · 18/05/2008 21:14

That's absolutely shocking,good luck with your complaint-get her named and shamed for the way she treated you and your daughter,definitely a good idea about newspaper too!

You must be so proud of your dd-she sounds like a real credit to you!

The nurse sounds like a godsend too-you're so fortunate she was there.

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