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AIBU?

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Original poster

For wanting to complain about this member of staff in Sainsburys - sorry long

142 replies

sillybut · 17/05/2008 18:47

I went to Sainsburys yesterday with my DD. I wasn't feeling too well so wanted to get in and out as quick as possible and had a short list of things we really needed. About half way round I started feeling awful - I was sick, couldn't feel parts of my body and everything had gone all blurry. DD was really scared but had the sense to run up to a member of staff and say "my mummy's not very well" (she's only 2+7). The woman turned round to her and said "she's just drunk you've got a really stupid mummy have't you" then she came up to me and told me I should leave the store immediately and take my child before she called the police.

By this time I couldn't talk properly, was crying with pain and could hardly walk. I knew by that stage I had a full blown migraine such as I've only had twice in my life before. I was mortified about being sick. Another woman stopped and said she was a nurse and and after that I don't remember much until I foundmyself in an ambulance with a very scared DD and the lovely nurse who'd insisted on cming to teh hospital with me.

I probably looked drunk but should I complain about the woman's reaction? DD keeps saying "mummy was sick and lady was horrid to me" and crying.

OP posts:
mashedbanana · 17/05/2008 21:22

what a bitch you must complain about her.i suffer with migrains so i know how they make you feel.hope you are feeling better.what a credit your dd is to you.

madmuggle · 17/05/2008 21:27

Well done that nurse! So many these days are scared to help for fear of litigation, that woman has a heart of gold.

Hope you're feeling better soon, as a fellow migraine sufferer you have my sympathy. Hope the diagnostic tests give an inkling of what's causing them for you

ChukkyPig · 17/05/2008 21:32

That's a really good idea, we are all quick to complain but slow to thank these days, including me! If DD helps write a thank you, again it may redress the "horrible lady" thing which for some reason has resonated with me. At 2 1/2 your DD is too young to doubt that people are on the whole kind.

Izzybel · 17/05/2008 21:33

Poor you . Thank goodness that nurse was there! Stupid cow in Sainsburys! What a wonderful little girl you have got Hope you are feeling better.

ranting · 17/05/2008 21:40

You are definitely NOT BU, write and complain, that's just appalling. And yes, I would try and find the nurse too and write a lovely letter about how wonderful she was. Thank heavens she was there.

NotABanana · 17/05/2008 21:49

You could write an open letter to the local paper maybe, the nurse might see that.

clam · 17/05/2008 21:49

Might be worth writing not just to the local store where it happened but also to Head Office. It's clearly something that their staff training should address.

rey · 17/05/2008 21:53

defo write to head office cc local store that woman should be given a warning at the very least can hardly believe it can actually happen to someone it makes me so cross and I am not you! WRITE NOW!

WendyWeber · 17/05/2008 21:56

I am thrilled the the nurse not only witnessed the woman's appalling behaviour but got her name (which you were obviously not in a position to do)

The nurse is a star (and the Sainsburys woman should consider a new line of work, one where she doesn't have to deal with living things for preference )

toodles · 17/05/2008 21:58

COMPLAIN, COMPLAIN, COMPLAIN. What disgusting behaviour.

catsmother · 17/05/2008 22:00

As if you needed further telling YANBU ..... 100% of us have said so, so there !

When you feel up to it, definitely complain. You have nothing to lose and your complaint is easily verified by the lovely-sounding nurse and ambulance crew.

I am aghast - for all the reasons everyone else has already pinted out - that she should have been so frighteningly, and irresponsibly spiteful to your very young child, a toddler for heaven's sakes ! By insisting you left in that state - whatever, exactly, the "state" was, she was endangering both your safety and that of your little girl. Disgusting.

No-one was expecting the bitch to personally see you home but it was both her moral (after her help was requested by a child) and professional responsibility (as an employee of the store where you happened to be) to seek help of some sort. Every store will have a trained 1st aider for a start - she should have called them immediately, whilst the humane thing to have done while she was waiting for someone more caring would have been to reassure your daughter, irrespective of her stupidly mistaken and judgemental opinion.

I'm sorry - but if she is unable to offer even basic kindness to a tiny child in distress then she shouldn't be in a public facing role. And to call you "stupid" and "drunk" is slander, last time I looked ..... that is completely unacceptable, and again, even if you had been drunk, it is not her place to introduce that concept to such a young child, nor express her disapproval of you. Given she was also willing to dismiss a young child into the care of someone "drunk", I really hope Sainsburys take notice of this and sack her. There really are no excuses for how she behaved at all.

I hope you feel better soon.

AllFallDown · 18/05/2008 09:30

Write to the store manager and the chief executive:
Justin King
Chief executive
Sainsbury's Supermarkets Ltd
33 Holborn
London
EC1N 2HT

The higher up the food chain you go, the more horrified they will be. Don't go all green ink - you don't want to be written off as a loony. Keep calm, explain that you do all your shopping in Sainsbury's, and ask why you should continue to do so in the wake of this distressing incident. DON'T demand the person be sacked: they'll do that themselves if they wish (and they won't be able to unless ypu have the name of the assistant, anyway).

Expecy vouchers, not an internal witchhunt.

cupsoftea · 18/05/2008 09:32

shocking - write to the boss. This employee should be sacked.

MargaretMountford · 18/05/2008 09:34

attach this thread to show mumsnet horror at the vile and unforgiveable treatment you received - hope you're feeling better today btw

mamablue · 18/05/2008 09:35

What an awful person. Even if she thought you were drunk your little girl asked for her help and she did not help her!! Thank goodness your little girl is so sensible and that the lovely nurse was there. You definately should complain.

pooka · 18/05/2008 09:38

I am outraged. Absolutely appalled. Definitely complain. You have her name now. Also love the idea of a thank you to the nurse who helped you. And a massive massive hug and thank you to your dd - she did an excellent job (and so have you in raising such a quick witted and ace daughter).

GoodGollyMissMolly · 18/05/2008 09:40

Oh good god no YANBU, deffo complain.

I am and appalled at that woman, thank god for the nurse. A BIG well done to your DD, she did so well, you must be so very very proud of her.

Home you are feeling better today.

nobodyputsBBinthecorner · 18/05/2008 10:03

Complain!!

what shocks me is if she thought you were drunk why would she want to let you leave with a young DD!

your DD is a star!

LilRedWG · 18/05/2008 10:11

Definitely complain. I've just read this to DH and he is similarly horrified (especially sine I've recently had my first migraine so we know how bad it can be).

DH says you should go to the press too.

tiredemma · 18/05/2008 10:20

What a heartless cow.

benandalex · 18/05/2008 10:27

That is absolutley disgrasful i am shocked but its good that the nurse was there and has also written to complain,but dont let it lie as next time for someone else it could be worse like a diabetic hypo

HonoriaGlossop · 18/05/2008 10:27

Yuo don't need another person telling you, yes - complain!

So I'll just say, as well as doing that, make a positive out of it by ensuring your DD can focus on the lovely aspects of what happened A) write to the local paper so you can thank the nurse and B) give your DD some kind of 'award' for being SUCH a clever little girl and trying to get help for you. I'd say she needs a big pressie

Hope you're ok now - migraines like that are really scary, aren't they. Hope the Dr's have given you something?

Original poster
sillybut · 18/05/2008 11:33

Here's a draft - what do you think?

Dear Store manager

On Friday 16th May at around 3.30pm I came to your store with my 2 and a half year old daughter. Whilst shopping I was taken suddenly and seriously ill and vomited. I also became dizzy and disorientated. It later became clear that I was suffering a serious migraine which required hospital treatment.

My DD was obviously scared and approached a member of staff with the words "my mummy's not very well". The lady informed my daugther that I was drunk and I was a silly mummy. She then approached me and requested that I should leave the store before the police were called. By this stage I was completely incapable. A lady stopped and said she was a nurse and another lady stopped to reassure my daughter and this is the last thing I remember until I came round in an ambulance.

I am very concerned that your staff members attitude highlights serious shortcomings in the level of customer services your store offers. I am espescially concerned that

a) She refused help to my 2 year old daughter who was obviously frightend and concerned.
b) She was willing to release my daughter back into my care when I was clearly incapable of looking after her (this remains relevent whether I was drunk or ill). She could have easily put my daughter in danger.
c) She did not call a first aider until she was told to by another member of staff, but instead continued to insist I was drunk and complained to members of the public that "a drunkard had been sick in the store and someone would have to clear it up" (I was given this detail afterwards by the nurse who accommpanied me to hospital). By assuming I was drunk she could have put my life in danger if for example I'd actually been suffering a severe diabtic swing.

My daughter has clearly been distressed by what she experienced and keeps saying "mummy was ill and lady was horrid to me". However I may have been treated, I am incensed that my young daughter was treated with such disdain and potentially endangered when she'd asked an adult for help.

Please can you identify the member of staff involved and take steps to ensure that she is aware of the danger she potetially put both myself and my daughter in. Please can you also review the training you offer public facing staff so that they have a better knowledge of how to deal with such situations

What happened to us I was unacceptable and I hope you will take the appropriate steps to prevent any future customer suffering in this way.

An urgent response would be appreciated please.

Yours sincerely

sillybut

OP posts:
LilRedWG · 18/05/2008 11:37

Cracking letter! I'd be tempted to copy to the local press if they don't respond promptly!

ib · 18/05/2008 11:39

I would give the name of the nurse and say she will corroborate your story and may be able to help identify the member of staff.

And I agree with the poster who said find out where she works and send a letter of commendation too.

Well done for not letting this go by unchallenged, it's a disgrace.

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