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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

For wanting to complain about this member of staff in Sainsburys - sorry long

142 replies

sillybut · 17/05/2008 18:47

I went to Sainsburys yesterday with my DD. I wasn't feeling too well so wanted to get in and out as quick as possible and had a short list of things we really needed. About half way round I started feeling awful - I was sick, couldn't feel parts of my body and everything had gone all blurry. DD was really scared but had the sense to run up to a member of staff and say "my mummy's not very well" (she's only 2+7). The woman turned round to her and said "she's just drunk you've got a really stupid mummy have't you" then she came up to me and told me I should leave the store immediately and take my child before she called the police.

By this time I couldn't talk properly, was crying with pain and could hardly walk. I knew by that stage I had a full blown migraine such as I've only had twice in my life before. I was mortified about being sick. Another woman stopped and said she was a nurse and and after that I don't remember much until I foundmyself in an ambulance with a very scared DD and the lovely nurse who'd insisted on cming to teh hospital with me.

I probably looked drunk but should I complain about the woman's reaction? DD keeps saying "mummy was sick and lady was horrid to me" and crying.

OP posts:
bluefox · 17/05/2008 19:12

This is awful. How could she have done this? Hope you are feeling better.

quint · 17/05/2008 19:13

Agree with everyone else - you must complain otherwise she will continue to behave in this way.

What a bitch, your poor DD, - well done her.

Hope you;re feeling better.

Original poster
sillybut · 17/05/2008 19:29

well my phone rung about 10 minutes after I'd posted and it was the nurse from yesterday. It appears she has ALREDY put in a written complaint about the member of staff and that she overheard quite a bit of what she said. She also managed to take the woman's name.

I will be complaining too. Thank you all for your comments. My DD is a wonderful little girl and I'm proud of her a million times over for how she dealt with yesterday. The nurse says she stood over me after I collapsed informing everyone who touched me "she's my mummy, she's not very well, be very gentle".

I am more incensed by the fact that she scared DD and that she tried to force me to take my child away when I was obviously incapable to keeping her safe than that she thought I was drunk.

I'm still feeling ropey and getting sick and dizzy spells. They're going to send me an appointment (with a neurologist I think) to see if they can work out what's causing the migraines.

OP posts:
NotABanana · 17/05/2008 19:33

Thank goodness for that nurse.

scottishmummy · 17/05/2008 19:35

the nurse sounds v responsible,you should still consider complaining BUT dont get additionally stressed about it

a thorough course of investigations sounds like a VG idea

take care

Chequers · 17/05/2008 19:41

Message withdrawn

BouncingTurtle · 17/05/2008 19:53

What a fantastic person that nurse is! And your dd is a little treasure.
Definitely want to follow up that complaint, bitch wants sacking

sallystrawberry · 17/05/2008 20:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheArmadillo · 17/05/2008 20:04

Well done your dd - she's a little star.

Horrible situation though, I would definately complain. I've been accused of being drunk while actually having a migraine - luckily only by stupid housemates though.

IT's not nice.

nickytwotimes · 17/05/2008 20:04

YANBU.
How awful for you.
Silly woman.

TotalChaos · 17/05/2008 20:05

yes, definitely complain. someone presenting as possibly drunk could have been dangerously ill with a diabetic hypo.

RIELOVESBACARDI · 17/05/2008 20:05

yes in writing

IdrisTheDragon · 17/05/2008 20:05

I agree about making the complaint.

Your DD was wonderful (my DD is also 2.7 and I'm not sure she would have been so sensible).

madamez · 17/05/2008 20:08

Definitely complain. Ds Dad used to work for Sainsburys and they are very big on customer service: this woman will get either a reprimand or retraining or maybe even sacked (she might have been similarly offensive before). Her attitude is dangerous, not just rude: both migraines and diabetic attacks can look like the person is drunk, if she makes nasty bigoted judgements like that someone could die for lack of medical help...
I also think that (if you can bear it) the local paper should be informed, and maybe the proleporn mags (Full House, Take A Break etc, not only do they love sticking it to big companies over stories like this but you will probably get a couple of hundred quid for your story...)

TheArmadillo · 17/05/2008 20:11

Also the woman was particularly stupid in that if you were drunk adn had been sick then the smell of booze would have reaked. Easy to tell when someone is drunk purely on that.

There is so many things - migraine and diabetic hypo are two - that can give same symptoms as being drunk. Yet the easiest way to tell is the stink (of booze). It's not as though you can miss it.

ivykaty44 · 17/05/2008 20:16

I would inform Sainsbury of the ignorance of their staff and the fact that they need to be trained to spot the difference between ill persons/customers and drunk customers and how to treat the different situations and the importance of this training which could save a life.

Rather than complain - positivley ask for them to change their own criteria on treatment of ill customers.

Get something positive done about the dangerous situation you were put in by this inexperianced and silly member of staff.

make sure that staff are made aware and follow a proceedure in future cases that are similar and do not tell young children that mummy is drunk and leave mummy to possibly collapse.

emj23 · 17/05/2008 20:17

That is so appalling, I hope the cow gets fired. Not only did she insult you, she could have been putting both you and your DD in danger through her actions. I hope you're feeling better, I've had migraines before and they are hellish.

ChukkyPig · 17/05/2008 20:22

Beside the point I know, but surely even if you had been drunk, to the point where you were sick and falling down, it still wouldn't be advisable to send you off in sole charge of a small child.

So whether you were drunk, having a migraine attack, a diabetic attack or any other type of problem that rendered you this unwell, it was immensely stupid to tell you to leave and unbelievable that she was so spiteful to your little girl.

Definitely complain in writing, you will feel better when you get an apology. You can also show the apology to your DD which will go some way to making up for the "mummy was ill and the lady was horrible" feelings.

lucyellensmum · 17/05/2008 20:42

Get her sacked, F*^king bitch!! Anything could have happened, thank God that nurse was there . Am absolutely outraged, i would complain to head office as well as the local store, i would be after making this woman;s life very difficult indeed, but then i am vindictive when it comes to upsetting my children.

spicemonster · 17/05/2008 20:46

I would complain to the store, the head office AND write to the local press as someone else said. Big organisations like Sainsbury's should train their staff in how to deal with a situation like this - not accuse you of being drunk. Poor you - but you must be really proud of your DD. She sounds like a very brave and grown up little girl

NotABanana · 17/05/2008 20:56

Sainsbury's are shi**. When I had my PFB they said I couldn't breast feed as it was their policy not to allow it. People had complained in the past.

duchesse · 17/05/2008 21:00

What a horrible witch! Good thing she's not in the caring professions... defo report her- it could be someone falling a diabetic coma next time.

macdoodle · 17/05/2008 21:08

On a more positive note can you find out where the wonderful nurse works and write a letter commending her to them - I am medic and I helped a gent who had a heart attack at a concert and he tracked me down and wrote to my manager - it did wonders for morale and gave me a lovely warm glow
Hope you are feeling better and tell your DD what a smart brave girl she is

DaisySteiner · 17/05/2008 21:11

Poor you sillybut Hope you feel better soon.

Madamez - PMSL at proleporn

scottishmummy · 17/05/2008 21:12

absolutley!the nurse is emapthic and a credit to her profession. star