DH Leaving Baby Alone with Cats

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I'm really struggling with a situation at home and could use some outside perspective. I have a three-week-old baby and we also have cats. Today, my husband left our baby in the living room with two of the cats while the baby was sleeping so he could wash dishes and quickly nip upstairs.

I completely flipped out when I discovered this. In my view, a newborn should never be left alone with pets, even for a few minutes. I've made this request clear before, but my husband is now saying he's not going to follow it if he's "just nipping out the room for a few minutes."

I'm absolutely devastated that he won't honor this simple request regarding our newborn's safety. The cats may be perfectly gentle, but they're still animals with unpredictable behavior.

Am I being unreasonable here? Or am I right to be upset that my husband won't follow this boundary when it comes to our baby?

More importantly, what can I do about this, what do others with cats do?

I am appalled that there are people who think it's okay to leave a baby alone with a cat.
I would leave my partner if he refused to keep our baby safe.

I totally agree with you. The people who think cats are harmless aren't getting the fact that it is only the case if you are much bigger.

I think you're wrong. My cat weighed almost three times as much as my newborn. If he'd sat on her chest or flopped near her face, he could have killed her. Luckily for us, he hated her 😂 RIP floofy 😢

I'm on your side OP. Cats like to lie on warm things. Babies are warm. We were warned again and again by family/midwives/health visitors/ NHS emails that cats are known to smother babies by lying on them because they are warm. Just calmly explain this to your husband. He'll not do it again once he knows the risks.

I agree. The cats could innocently sit on the baby cover thier mouth or throat / chest. He should use a baby monitor or just remove the cats and close the door. A monitor is easier if baby is having naps in the lounge. You can get monitors with 2 cameras set one upstairs and 1 in the lounge. He can see if the cats keep away and keep an eye on baby.
Better safe then sorry. If you ask your HV they will say the same.

I wouldn't bank on it, he might be doing it deliberately to scare her because he doesn't want to be lumbered with caring for his baby.

Yet those cases were shown there was absolutely ZERO EVIDENCE that the cat had anything to do with SIDS deaths.

Those were posted to PROVE there is ZERO EVIDENCE of it. None. None at all. Sids deaths are not proof the cat did it. The links actually show there is NO PROOF THE CAT HAD ANY INVOLVEMENT. You clearly didn't even read the links. They actually prove it's an old wives tale.

Those were posted to PROVE there is ZERO EVIDENCE of it. None. None at all. Sids deaths are not proof the cat did it. The links actually show there is NO PROOF THE CAT HAD ANY INVOLVEMENT. You clearly didn't even read the links. They actually prove it's an old wives tale.

The links provided prove there is no risk of a baby being suffocated. Especially since cats hate baby screams, and the baby would just move it's head to the side. Common sense tells one it's nonsense, but the links posted debunk it once and for all.

Nonsense, you would have moved your head even as a baby, if you can imagine it physically there is no way you would have suffocated, especially if you started crying it would startle the cat and the cat would get off. It's common sense. And cats aren't that heavy that they can stop you from breathing. People on here have taken complete leave of their senses and critical thinking.

There is ZERO evidence cats are capable of smothering babies, let alone ever have. There is not one single recorded case of this ever happening. Those who told you that lied to you and spread an old wives tale. I'm truly surprised in this era of the internet that people still fall for it!

You clearly didn't read ALL of the links. HTH.

Maybe, but i view the situation as, cats do indeed like to lie on warm things and babies are indeed warm. So, why take the risk.

I wouldn’t leave a 3week old alone long enough to do the dishes even without any cats around. Surely the idea of Moses baskets is that they are portable and you can move them around with you.

When I was a child it was accepted that cats might lie on an unattended baby in its pram/cradle etc and smother it. I have just googled and found a paper was published in the British Medical Journal in 1982 that concerns a baby found fighting to breathe with a cat lying on its face. It didn't survive as it had severe brain damage.

I most certainly did. You clearly, did not read any of them. HTH

You're being oddly militant and adamant that people should take life-threatening risks, even if very small, with their own babies just because you think it's fine. Also, even if the baby moved their head and started crying, the cat might spook and scratch them. Why risk that?

Because they are animals??🙄

Agree, the problem with cats is them sleeping with the new born in the Moses basket not that they will attack the baby (although I guess that is also possible!)

This did happen. I remember reading about it. CBA to find the link. But honestly, if there is even the slightest risk, is it worth it? Also, there is an issue about the DH not doing what the OP has requested.

It's almost an entirely unfounded concern. There have been 4 suspected incidents with a cat smothering a baby since 1980 – and those only suspected as cat was in the same room, with it also being probably the infant died from SIDS.

It's not something I would get distressed about if during daytime and the baby is only unattended for a few minutes – which is common sense with or without cats.

Yes do they still do cat nets they used too for prams.
I remember the saying mind the cat with the baby.

It doesn’t matter whether it’s an old wives tale or not (weird angry defence of cats there flaky 🤣).

The OP is uneasy with something that is a valid concern and so her husband should be supportive. She’s literally asking him to shoo the cat out of the room, how hard is that to do for this very short period of the baby being newborn and in a Moses basket?

Cats scratch and do so randomly, they also jump into things and knock them over. The baby being scratched or the basket being knocked would be enough for me.

The issue is not whether it's dangerous, but that you have asked him to do something which will put your mind at rest and he's not willing to acquiesce. You're a new mum with all of those protective hormones racing through your system. It's a potentially very stressful time. He needs to listen to you even if the request seems unreasonable to him.