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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH Leaving Baby Alone with Cats

140 replies

untitled1 · 25/04/2025 22:02

I'm really struggling with a situation at home and could use some outside perspective. I have a three-week-old baby and we also have cats. Today, my husband left our baby in the living room with two of the cats while the baby was sleeping so he could wash dishes and quickly nip upstairs.

I completely flipped out when I discovered this. In my view, a newborn should never be left alone with pets, even for a few minutes. I've made this request clear before, but my husband is now saying he's not going to follow it if he's "just nipping out the room for a few minutes."

I'm absolutely devastated that he won't honor this simple request regarding our newborn's safety. The cats may be perfectly gentle, but they're still animals with unpredictable behavior.

Am I being unreasonable here? Or am I right to be upset that my husband won't follow this boundary when it comes to our baby?

More importantly, what can I do about this, what do others with cats do?

OP posts:
FlakyCritic · 26/04/2025 00:55

Franjipanl8r · 26/04/2025 00:45

Yes there is. A baby was suffocated by a cat and had brain damage and died 7 months later from her injuries.

Show quote history

Please stop making up such hateful bullshit. No such thing has ever happened like that.

Mumtobabyhavoc · 26/04/2025 00:59

Another site with sensible advice:

www.cats.org.uk/help-and-advice/cats-and-your-family/cats-and-babies

coxesorangepippin · 26/04/2025 01:23

YANBU

He shouldn't really leave a newborn anyway, other than for a few second loo break

alseb · 26/04/2025 01:32

I always thought that cats could smell baby milk hence risk of suffocation. Old tale or not the DH shouldn’t be so blasé re potential incident. It causes mother unnecessary stress. My husband was always very laid back with regards to such matters too and I think it’s really arrogant.

nyancatdays · 26/04/2025 02:01

You’re right OP and your husband is wrong. A cat net is also a suffocation risk if the cat jumped on it or it got caught in some way. Safest to make sure cats are not left alone with baby.

ttcat37 · 26/04/2025 02:05

YANBU. We have a new baby and cats. One cat is ambivalent but one is fascinated and constantly tried to get in the cot with baby. We would never leave baby unattended with them anyway, but we don’t allow them in the room even if we’re in there now. Not worth the risk if we nod off etc.
There is a reason cat nets for cots exist! We bought one but felt that it would be more of a risk ie the cat would still jump on the net and it might fall into the cot and smother baby.

ttcat37 · 26/04/2025 02:09

coxesorangepippin · 26/04/2025 01:23

YANBU

He shouldn't really leave a newborn anyway, other than for a few second loo break

How are you supposed to poo, shower, do the washing, cleaning…? The midwives in the maternity ward told the woman opposite me to stop wheeling her baby everywhere. Baby is not going to spontaneously combust if you leave them somewhere safe for a few minutes.

Robinredd · 26/04/2025 02:19

Your husband is a dick for not respecting your wishes, especially as a new mother who is feeling anxious.

There's no way the cats should be left alone with the baby while he washes the dishes. There's no reason why he can't just close them out of the room.

anareen · 26/04/2025 02:44

I don't think you are being unreasonable at all.

Your husband completely disregarding your parenting decision regarding safety is alarming. I would worry about baby's well being with him.

Could you Google info on the risk cats pose to newborns if left alone and present that to your husband? Possibly find a story?

I do hope your husband becomes receptive to the seriousness of this.

WearyAuldWumman · 26/04/2025 12:28

FlakyCritic · 26/04/2025 00:36

That is an old wives tale. There is no record of a baby ever being suffocated by a cat.

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And yet two documented cases have been linked to upthread.

Slightyamusedandsilly · 26/04/2025 12:38

Floofyboy2010 · 25/04/2025 22:06

@Idunno8A cat could suffocate a newborn if it jumped in the moses basket. I'm with OP.

This NEVER happens. It's an old wives tale.

Dogs I could understand. Or even keeping an eye on children that can grab at a cat, because the cat may retaliate. But a baby that is unable to move is not in danger from a cat.

I'm pretty sure you've already Googled this and found no evidence on it being a risk. I do understand the anxiety, but it's unfounded.

WearyAuldWumman · 26/04/2025 12:41

Slightyamusedandsilly · 26/04/2025 12:38

This NEVER happens. It's an old wives tale.

Dogs I could understand. Or even keeping an eye on children that can grab at a cat, because the cat may retaliate. But a baby that is unable to move is not in danger from a cat.

I'm pretty sure you've already Googled this and found no evidence on it being a risk. I do understand the anxiety, but it's unfounded.

Show quote history

Yes, people have Googled. A couple of cases have been linked upthread.

Pinky1256 · 26/04/2025 12:43

Never leave a baby alone with a cat, even the most gentle cat. Many cats tend to jump on your chest and could asphyxiate a baby.

I have a cat and a baby and when one person is alone with the baby and needs to go to another room, we either take the baby or the cat. As in take the baby with us to the other room or if the baby is sleeping, lock the cat in the laundry (with litter, food and water). They are never alone unsupervised.

arcticpandas · 26/04/2025 12:47

Whenindoubthugitout · 25/04/2025 22:09

A complete and utter over reaction on your part.

please link any cases where babies have been smothered by a cat.

https://www.researchgate.net/publication/16388009_Can_a_cat_smother_and_kill_a_baby

Illbefinejustbloodyfine · 26/04/2025 12:50

Sorry OP but I think YABU. It's his call if he's looking after the baby. What do you think will happen?

Swiftie1878 · 26/04/2025 12:54

We have cats. They weren’t allowed in the same room as our newborn. They could easily suffocate a baby by hopping into a Moses basket with them.

NovemberMorn · 26/04/2025 12:55

Floofyboy2010 · 25/04/2025 22:06

@Idunno8A cat could suffocate a newborn if it jumped in the moses basket. I'm with OP.

Agreed.
He should not be taking chances with anything that could potentially harm his newborn...and smothering is definitely in that category.

MamaLenny · 26/04/2025 12:55

I used to shut my cat in the kitchen (with food and water) so I could have a shower without worrying. That's when I had a toddler and a 6 month old kitten as really couldn't leave them alone together.

I'd tell him to make sure the baby and the cats are in different rooms with a door closed between them if he has to pop upstairs or something.

dogcatkitten · 26/04/2025 13:05

Our cats were mainly terrified of the baby and initially would leave rapidly if she was in the room. When she was a bit bigger our oldest (mother) cat adopted her and would lie on the end of the pram, or if she was on a blanket in the garden in the summer come and lie beside her, I never had any concerns although she wasn't a new born by the time they stopped fleeing in terror.

FrankieV6 · 26/04/2025 13:33

Shocked at the number of people saying OP is overreacting. It is unlikely anything would happen but why take the risk? If OP was on here saying the cat had got in the moses basket with the baby and suffocated them while she went to the loo, everyone would be asking why she left the baby alone with an animal. It's never worth the risk, no matter how small.

WearyAuldWumman · 26/04/2025 13:38

FrankieV6 · 26/04/2025 13:33

Shocked at the number of people saying OP is overreacting. It is unlikely anything would happen but why take the risk? If OP was on here saying the cat had got in the moses basket with the baby and suffocated them while she went to the loo, everyone would be asking why she left the baby alone with an animal. It's never worth the risk, no matter how small.

Yup.

People have demanded links to prove that there's a risk - even though links have already been provided. The risk is small, but not worth taking. A few posters have given examples of near misses which they have experienced.

Some of the responses seem to be rather aggressive, almost as if people somehow think that their own animals have been accused of some heinous crime.

Petmum · 26/04/2025 13:39

I had two cats when my son was born. Very affectionate boys. Obsessed with my bump all through the pregnancy and first to meet dc when we got home. They seemed to think he was theirs. I did get cat nets for the crib but in the end co slept. Cats and all. They would carefully watch over him and put themselves on duty if I left the room.
I think it depends upon your cats and how you feel. If it makes you more comfortable to have them separate then that's fine too.

Gymly · 26/04/2025 14:02

WearyAuldWumman · 26/04/2025 13:38

Yup.

People have demanded links to prove that there's a risk - even though links have already been provided. The risk is small, but not worth taking. A few posters have given examples of near misses which they have experienced.

Some of the responses seem to be rather aggressive, almost as if people somehow think that their own animals have been accused of some heinous crime.

Show quote history

Agree. Plus NHS simply says (in bold)stay with your child . Don't leave them alone unsupervised, even your own. It's hardly the hysterical overreaction some PPs are suggesting to follow this very simple advice.

Alwaystired23 · 26/04/2025 14:06

I don't think the OP is being unreasonable here. When I was a baby my mum found the cat in the basket with me, practically on my head. I could have easily suffocated.