Would you date a man that wasn’t married or had no kids by age 50?

[hecaved]

just that really? I am
a divorced mother of three teens and would like and am
ready for a relationship again. Like all kids, they have their challenges and part of
my Wishes to be in a relationship is to have support and essentially a great friend with whom to share struggles , if even through conversation .
is it unreasonable to go there?

One of my best friends in this exact situation. She split up from her awful husband and has two older teenagers.
After having some fun on tinder she met a 50 year old he was never been married and has no kids. I've met him several times now and he is absolutely lovely. Definitely a bit geeky which is possibly why when he was younger he didn't get together with anyone.
After being together now for about three years they're going to get married in a couple of years when the kids leave home. He is solvent, intellectual, loving, got a great social life with loads of friends of all ages who have known him years and rate him highly. She is absolutely made up and they are already planning their retirement to go travelling the world.
Not all never married men are hiding some dark secret.

Mr Monkey and I have been together for 20 years. He has a son from a previous relationship, I was and remain child free by choice.

I am have always supported him through the various tribulations of child rearing. I see my role to support him, not parent my DSS (who has two decent, loving and committed parents for that).

Child free people aren't monsters who know nothing about children - we have children our lives and were once children ourselves.

It sounds like op is concerned about a childless, single man fully understanding the emotional and physical toll that children, especially those who are struggling, can take. That’s a completely valid concern. I suggest giving him a chance to see how things go.

Op is not looking for a step-parent for her children, just someone who can support her. If it becomes too overwhelming and she can’t meet everyone’s needs, it’s okay to reassess and step back if needed. Ops well-being and her kids’ needs are the priority.

@Bread121bread so what's the actual appeal for this bloke then? He's made it to 50 without the stress of kids so how likely is he to want to start supporting a mother to teens? It's very unfair to expect that from him. If OP needs emotional support and someone to offload her struggles to therapy sounds like a much better bet.

Never married or never in a relationship? The first part wouldn’t bother me, the second would.

Some men actually like a challenge and are drawn to the idea of a ready-made family. Personally, I know I’d prefer dating someone with a teenager rather than a baby—less chance of last-minute cancellations due to daycare bugs and colds.

Teenagers don’t need constant supervision like babies, but they do need strong guidance. With less time left before adulthood, it’s more about helping them navigate complex emotions, decisions, and life challenges. It’s a different kind of parenting. Maybe he wants that?

Yes.
A couple of male uni friends never married or had children and they will be 40 now.
I know one had a long term relationship and lived with a woman but she found someone else and since then he seems to spend a lot of time travelling.

I have 2 female school friends who are 40 too who have never been married or had children, they've also had relationships I don't think they met the right person and weren't bothered about having kids.

All of them are nice people and there's no reason why any of them wouldn't be a great partner.

Many childless single people have had significant caring responsibilities, especially for parents, when their siblings with children feel that they are best placed to provide that care

In my own experience, I’ve actually seen the opposite. It's often the stay-at-home parents (mainly women) or only children who end up taking on most of the caregiving. Childless siblings sometimes have other commitments or travel plans that make it harder for them to be available, though they often contribute more financially. Including paying for respite care.

I'm child-free and while I don't actively want to take on any parenting role at any age (nor will I be in the market to do so), I'd be much more open to having teenagers in my life than younger children. They're more interesting to be around and talk to, they're more independent and demand less of your time. I don't object to spending time with teenagers at all but I absolutely do not want to interact with under-12s.

You make it clear that you want help with your teens. What are you thinking? Teens are hard enough when they're your own - someone else's? Three of them? A bloke in his middle years with no experience of children? 'Chocolate' and 'teapot' spring to mind.

Thank you @Bread121bread. You nailed it ! Great advice everyone thanks .

Ah so you are 50. I thought you were younger 😂

I’m 50 and never been married and have no children, also lived on my own for most of my adult life (apart from a few years caring for my dad before he died). I’m intrigued by some of these responses that assume there’s something wrong with me.

Um I sort of did, well he was 46 and never married or kids etc. initially I congratulated myself on discovering him, what a rare find etc, he’d just been busy with work etc …. Anyway, it became apparent why but I was too naive to clock all the red flags back then. So I’d say just be aware!

Sounds perfect. I know lots of single men over the age of 50 with no children.

Be careful what you wish for

Nothing wrong with you at all. You’re very independent. It comes down to societal norms. Any time people go against the grain either through their own choice or default, people have an issue with it and they need validation that they have made the right choices. They especially have an issue with women who are independent. Older woman who is unmarried and no kids - Old spinster, crazy cat lady. Whilst men are just called bachelors.

Would you think the same about a woman?

i think there’s prejudice against both from some quarters. There’s certainly the old crazy cat lady thing you mentioned that people unfairly apply to women but also the “loser, lives in his mums basement” trope that’s been quoted on this thread.

Would I judge someone who lived alone and was unmarried and no kids, no. Would I judge someone who still lived with their parents at 50, it depends on the reason. Caring duties, then no I wouldn’t judge. If they had moved back home temporarily due to a new job, saving up or relationship break down then again no I wouldn’t judge. But if it was due to having an easy life and laziness then yes I would judge them and eouid not date them.