Would you date a man that wasn’t married or had no kids by age 50?

[hecaved]

just that really? I am
a divorced mother of three teens and would like and am
ready for a relationship again. Like all kids, they have their challenges and part of
my Wishes to be in a relationship is to have support and essentially a great friend with whom to share struggles , if even through conversation .
is it unreasonable to go there?

The penny has just dropped for me that a lot of people get into shitshow blended family situations precisely because they have weird prejudices against single, child-free, middle-aged people. I always ask "why on earth date a man with children" on those threads because it seems obvious that they're preferable to dating divorced dads. Clearly some people think the other way round!

I'm not clear on if such a man exists and is showing interest or this is just your "ideal" of what you're looking for? If it's the latter then you might be disappointed to find there are very few men like that. Even if you did manage to find one it's likely that his preference would be a childless woman because I assume he would have quite a few options.

God yes. I would take that every day over a bloke with a nightmare ex and step kids.

Just read all the step parenting threads on here.

Yeah I have to say I agree wholeheartedly with this.

I’m surprised at the answers here; many sound as if the only value placed on a human being is their ability to breed or marry. I’ve seen and heard enough stories to know that it doesn’t take an awful lot of special talent or character to do either.

"Not married" doesn't automatically mean "has never been in a relationship." I'm not a bloke, but it's crazy to read that so many people think not wanting kids and having not ended up married means there's something significantly wrong with you.

Might be a better bet than a guy who messed up his first marriage...

I would think twice personally. My brother is in his 60's, never married or had children. He was and is a selfish, bullying arsehole, and I hope that his fiance who left him realised, however she still sees my brother so I suspect not.

In isolation, neither point about marriage or kids would bother me, but then as someone who is childless anyway, it's not like I need this as means of having something in common.

If in the fullness of time it emerged he'd never married because he'd been inside for 25 years for murder, that would be a problem to me in a way that finding out he'd been using the time to become a successful self-made millionaire wouldn't.

Ultimately, it comes down to the individual, and in typical MN style, while being prejudiced and judgmental is very much frowned upon, it seems to me that the OP is loaded with it.

Living. He might have had partners. Wasn’t this George Clooney. I’d have settled for that

I'm skeptical of divorced people when I date.

They're either divorced because they're not a nice partner or their ability to make sound choices in huge life decisions is poor. Neither of which seem good tbh.

....

Not nice when people throw around unfair prejudices is it? If we stigmatised divorced people the way we stigmatised long term single people there would be outrage, and rightly so. I say the statement in bold above to make a point.

It's a big leap to accuse posters to this thread of judgement. It's wise to be wary when introducing a new partner into the mix, especially when you have children. These pages are littered with people struggling with blended families - sometimes it's not always an easy 'shoe in'. No one is judging his choices in life but is he truly ready to give up the single life for a life with teenagers?

Same - struggling to see the issue.

I think it would be preferable to divorced with kids

If ì was single and looking for companionship in my 50s yes. As long as our values aligned and they were a good person, them never having had children wouldn't put me off.
MIL met a man, both in their 50s. He never had children for various reasons. He's a lovely man, treats MIL well and is a brilliant Grandad to my children.

I did date someone like this and he was incredibly selfish. I think he just didn't know how to put someone else's needs first, or even really consider them when he was planning things. I felt he didn't really know how to love someone else, to care for them, to want to do nice things for them. Although possibly that's the reason that he hadn't got married and didn't have children - it's hard to know what came first.

And he had no clue of what it was like to be a parent. He was sometimes critical of me and my parenting (which really pissed me off), and had no idea of what an obligation it is - so he would expect me to drop things, or just ignore the children and do stuff with him. And also he spent most of his time away from me just relaxing, so when he met up with me, he wanted to do things, whereas I spent most of my boyfriend-free time, parenting, cleaning, working and wanted to relax in my free time.

So I probably wouldn't date a child-free person again.

I meet this man he had had a long term relationship which ended when his partner passed away. They had desperately wanted children, but that wasn’t to be.
He Had channelled his grief into his career and had become very successful, but it was hollow and lonely.
We meet and took things slowly eventually moving in together after 5 years when my DD was 17. He supported me, but never tried to tell me how to parent my DD. He now very much sees her as his adored DSD and his love comes with no strings unlike her actual father who has conditions and rules attached to his attention.
As Others have said you need to have the same values which we do.

My MIL has done this but he was 60. It's worked out really well. Life just hadn't taken him down that route but he's great with the grandchildren and he and MIL have a lot in common. They took it slowly and only recently moved in together.

I’d be delighted to have a relationship with someone who’s never married or had kids. How refreshing! I’m late 50s and I’ve never married, although I do have a DD.

If I did date anyone they wouldn’t be anywhere near my DD. I’d keep it all completely separate so it wouldn’t make any difference if he had any experience of parenting/being an uncle/god parent, etc. or not

From what you say you want, I would ask the question What’s in it for him?
sounds like you just want an emotional crutch and someone to vent to

@hecaved my now ex of 50 had no children but had longer relationships so in that respect i don't think the lack of marriage would be an issue. As your kids are older, you'd have much more free time.

However mine really struggled to be ok with my lack of time (I have young children) and split up with me. He didnt see a future for us as i couldn't live with him. There's more to the story but that's the gist of it. Id been with him 2 years.

@HelenHywater this was my experience similarly. I would really hope there are childless men who aren't like this.

I am! We met after my 20 year marriage ended and his 7 year relationship ended. Had been friends on Facebook through a mutual friend for a decade. I have 2 young adult dc. We started dating at age 49. Now been together 4 years. He’s amazing and we are hoping to move in together soon and eventually marry. He’s brilliant with my young adult sons (a lot of witty humour around in my house!).

Yes, go for it. I did and 14yrs later we are still happily together. He loves my dc and they love him.

Maybe. I'd want to know a lot more about his life if I was looking for something long term.

Frankly, even less appealing.