To think just don’t offer them beige food?

[Ashlll]

Or am I spectacularly uneducated here? My sister has a 3 year old who apparently will only eat beige food and mostly crisps. She says it’s a sensory thing and we have to respect it when around him, for example when I took him and dd out last week I had to give him quavers rather than the snacks I had got for dd… which then made dd want quavers too! Same with water, he won’t drink it and it has to be juice.

I am not massively strict but did say to dsis just don’t buy these things then he won’t know he can ask for them… she says he just won’t eat or drink. I think this is ridiculous (I’ve not said this to her). AIBU?!?

They're often not getting any other nutrients - which is why dieticians will recommend you give them as much of their "safe" foods as possible so that they are at least eating something.

You can think it's crazy if you like - but if your child was on their 4th or 5th day of refusing every single thing you offered them, including "many other beige foods" I'm sure you'd start to think a little bit differently.

All posts on mumsnet seem to conclude that children are autistic! Everyone wants a diagnosis for everyone.

Of course some kids have autism but there’s also a whole host of children who are fussy - because they’re children - and parents accept they can eat what they want.

Except that isn’t what I said is it? And I’m not ‘fixed’, I have said I still throw up from foods and avoid them for periods of time. I made it very clear I was talking about my own experience and I was musing about how different people react. I made it clear it was my own experience and have done in follow up posts responding to someone else. We are allowed to have different experiences and I am allowed to comment on mine.

Like I said - I really want to know how it gets to the point. This can’t happen overnight

Because you are an amazing, fantastic mother who should be heralded as the beacon of hope in a society where children are pandered to and give beige food because the rest of us are terrible, awful, neglectful mothers.

I'm not sure how genuine you are, but I'll use myself as an example.

My parents are super healthy and weaned me on all kinds of super healthy foods. Which I loved. There are photos of me eating all kinds of things as a small toddler - fish, vegetables, curries, rice, pasta, stews - I had no issue with food at all and ate everything on my plate.

When I got to about three, I started having issues with texture and consistency. Previously loved foods would make me gag - to the point of vomiting if I was forced to keep eating them. Eventually it got to the point where I had about 4-5 "safe" foods - and that is all I would eat. If I was offered anything else, I would just go hungry.

I'm very lucky in that some of my "safe" foods happen to be healthy enough - so I was never restricted to the point of only eating Quavers, but my diet was very limited for a long time. I was diagnosed with autism at 36 and still have serious issues with food, texture and diet.

People have tried to explain it to you and all you've done is scoff about how you'd never dream of giving your child a Quaver.

How about read the thread - many parents including myself have said how it happened. My children were weaned the same way, with healthy home made foods and DC2 gradually withdrew safe foods to meat (only specific types), bread, potatoes. They were introduced to quavers by grandparents, nursery etc. and they are then so that became a safe food.

I don’t mean just keep it until they eat it lmao 🤣 you can only reheat it once! If they don’t eat it, they get wheatbix or porridge…. Not chicken nuggets.

2 weeks with barely any food as a toddler is fine. They eat when they need to, not when you want them to. God, I remember my son ate mouthfuls of food at each meal for months, then suddenly just ate everything and anything! His weight was fine and he was drinking lots of water, so there was no issues. Babies/toddlers eat when they’re hungry/when their bodies need them too. So no, I wouldn’t have worried.

I’ll try to explain, but tbh I’m not fully sure I understand it myself.

First of all, I wasn’t really hungry / fussed about food (even as a baby, and yes I was taken to the hospital and doctors for it) so eating wasn’t a necessity for me. I did it when I liked the taste because that made it “worth” it if that makes sense.

Then there was the issue of taste ,texture or smell. They all had to be just right. For example , there were foods I loved the smell of and the outside texture , but the actual taste was “wrong” to me. It didn’t match.

Then there were foods that actually made me gag/throw up based on smell and/or taste only.
I still can’t handle those today and I have tried. I am a lot better now, but I do tend to stick to what I know when I have the choice.

I’m sorry , I probably sound like an absolute twat, but I can’t explain “wrong”. It just is.

Ironically I love certain things with strong tastes (Pickles, pickled tomatoes, sauerkraut, raw garlic, raw onion etc) but I can’t cope with lamb for example. That’s one of the foods that physically makes me throw up.

But we're not talking about toddlers who are eating mouthfuls. We're talking about children who will literally go nil-by-mouth, including water, for days on end. They will just not eat. Full stop.

How long would you let your child eat nothing at all?

If anything this just highlights the dangers of feeding kids rubbish - everyone bears responsibility to stop allowing kids access to nutritionally devoid food with added addictive chemical enhancers. It also just strengthens my resolve to not allow my children UPF’s.

I have two children, both had exactly the same upbringing and weaned in the same way, one is a total foodie, loves everything, tries anything, loves new and interesting food from all over the world. The other has ARFID and has a very restricted diet and even has difficulty eating in front of people. I wish it was as simple as just not offering those foods, but when you have a child who struggles with food so much, you would rather them eat a bag of crisps than eat nothing at all.
The best way to handle it is to try to not add stress around food, make eating a sociable and enjoyable experience and give them an option to try different foods.
It can be incredibly lonely and stressful parenting a child with problems around food, the best thing you can do is be supportive of your sister and try to not judge.

Arguments about quavers.🤣 They're not the worst thing a child will ever eat.

The first time I left ds with a friend aged about 7 months, I got a text about 10 minutes after I left him. "He likes quavers. He he."

It's a very precious text. My friend died a couple of years later and I treasure it.
Has it effected ds' diet? Not at all. He'd probably (age 17yo) have a packet of quavers if I offered, but he'd prefer to eat a cucumber or a pepper. That btw is because that is his taste, not because I've refused to feed him anything that isn't healthy.

My DS 4 is awaiting ASD/ADHD/PDA reviews, he has been under the dietitian since he was 6 months old as he would NOT eat at all, he went into hospital at 9 months old for 2 weeks for the nurss to try to feed him and they got less down him than i did! We have a very 'basic' diet thayt mainlt consists of chips (crisp), dry cereal, dry bickies and a new one of spaghetti hoops (they have to be the cheap ones as he doesn't like the sauce too sweet or strong so its a win win with this one!) My son is also on paediasure milk and also has just juice but it is altrajuice (packed with 'hidden' calories! We also have 2 other DSs who both eat as would be expected, one is older and one is younger. Its horrible when your LO won't eat and theres nothing you can do, i feel for your sister

A bag of baby crisps and an icecream/an apple (sometimes) a day is enough yeah? From 3 (toddler sized) meals a day.Damn… where were you 11 years ago?

There was no porridge or weetabix or whatever because she wouldn’t even eat frikking toast anymore! I had to literally reintroduce everything because she stopped eating every single thing she used to , but for some reason the second time around it didn’t work as well.

@WhenYouSayNothingAtAll you make perfect sense to me, lol.

Thank you for sharing, it’s really interesting as it’s completely different to how my brain works when I can’t cope with a food. Mind if I ask if your relationship with food ever changed or are you still not fussed by it in general?

So they’re advising food chaining, an evidenced proven strategy and you tell them to fuck off?

Dear me MumWifeOther.

I felt like you reading this thread as neither of my children were fussy eaters.

However reading people's experiences has made me realise I was just lucky to have good eaters not some amazing parent.

You'd do well to actually read the thread and listen to what people are saying. You sound unbearable.

Oh for goodness sake, you are being deliberately obtuse. Thank your lucky stars that you have children who eat nutritionally rich foods and probably stop judging others who are trying to keep our children from starving.

It’s not about nutrition when you’ve got a child losing weight who won’t eat. It’s about getting a child to eat enough calories to not be dead and increasing their range of food. Food chaining includes stepping into the realm of new flavours and textures. Which can and will include crisps.

Outside of your judgement do you have any training or experience?

It’s often not tolerated.

Artificial feeding.

I have two boys, 14 and 10. Both weaned on healthy vegetables, fresh fruits and ate everything. My teenager eats anything put in front of him and has an amazing diet. Willing to try everything to find new favourites. Youngest we suspect has ADHD (everything ongoing). He is weird with texture, smell and doesn’t like anything unfamiliar. He’s unwilling to try anything new although when we go on holiday we make a huge deal of him trying something brand new of his choosing every day, this works but he won’t eat it again once we get home even though he liked it. We stick to the healthier foods of his limited tastes. He loves chicken, beef, pasta, fruit, cucumber, potatoes and mushrooms amongst other things but his preferences are limited. We originally thought he was being fussy so we left him at the table and told him he was to eat what was given or no supper. He wouldn’t eat, then he started looking ill after about a month because he wasn’t eating enough. He’s very sporty and plays football and basketball and lethargy set in. He also eats with his fingers which is taking ages to correct. Doesn’t like metal or plastic in his mouth or touching his mouth. It’s not exactly plain sailing I’m afraid. It runs so much deeper than people realise and we aren’t lazy parents either.

I asked a genuine question - how it gets to a critical point - and someone with experience answered.

This comment is in answer to response which to me highlights the dangers of exposing kids to addictive and ultra processed foods. It’s not judgement, it’s concern.