To think just don’t offer them beige food?

[Ashlll]

Or am I spectacularly uneducated here? My sister has a 3 year old who apparently will only eat beige food and mostly crisps. She says it’s a sensory thing and we have to respect it when around him, for example when I took him and dd out last week I had to give him quavers rather than the snacks I had got for dd… which then made dd want quavers too! Same with water, he won’t drink it and it has to be juice.

I am not massively strict but did say to dsis just don’t buy these things then he won’t know he can ask for them… she says he just won’t eat or drink. I think this is ridiculous (I’ve not said this to her). AIBU?!?

My question is why they were given the packet of Quavers in the first place.

As previously stated, the list of safe foods is whittled down from what they’re offered. If they hadn’t ever been offered beige, they wouldn’t cling to beige.

I wish I knew all of that tbh!

It's generally a combination of tastes/textures - I really cannot stand the texture of most meat, the tougher/stringier it is, the less likely I can manage it so for example, I cannot eat steak (I have tried on multiple occasions) however I can do minced beef and I can do certain sorts of burger... I even got to a stage where I could do quite thick juicy burgers that are pink in the middle which I never thought I would..

But thats purely the texture - on top of that is the flavour! I really need it to be predictable, so McDonalds would win over 'lovely juicy home made minced steak' burger, because I know exactly what I am getting with McDonalds... the home made one might be quite mildly beefy or it might be really overly gamey and beefy.. and that'd be a nope!

This is the reason so many kids end up on bland, beige food and junk food - it is uniform and predictable. A bag of Quavers will be the same no matter where you are, what time it is, who gives it to you - a tangerine or apple will not be.

The 'nope' when it happens is ... weird. I can't swallow it. Even if I can bring myself to put it in my mouth. It turns to cardboard and I physically cannot get it down. Attempts to push myself result in crying, gagging and vomiting (and i am talking about pushing myself, alone, no one else there, in private!).

Because I am an adult, I don't fear food generally - I have control, so I won't ever be in a room with people eating fish, or meat on the bone, the smell/sight of which makes me gag. I don't have the pressure to try stuff so the fear is no longer there - it was HUGE as a child because at any moment someone would attempt to pressure me/bully me/coerce me to try things... and then be abusive in response to my reaction (my parents mostly).

It feels safer and therefore I am much more likely to enjoy what I eat, if I can stick to the safe foods... but randomly safe foods become unsafe sometimes. For ages I could eat Morrisons Potato Crispies (tater tots) - then over night, nope, ick, I would rather go hungry, can't get them down. Did they change the recipe? I don't know!

Having a basis of safe foods to rely on, I can then try to add in other things - so with the current basic diet, I am trying to add a finely chopped salad every couple of days and thats going ok (and is something that was a former safe food, so is a good bet. I didn't go off it, just half the ingredients were out of season/stupidly expensive.)

I do also have other sensory issues, and if they get overwhelming I suspect that sticking to verrrrry predictable, uniform, bland foods helps me cope.

It also seems to go in phases, so I had a phase of plain pasta with a bit of either olive oil or butter, some pepper and a TINY bit of cheese (not to the point it melts though, ew).

Then I went right off that, haven't even had cheese for about six months (unheard of for me, cheddar has previously been a safe food for over 30 years!)...

If I get very stressed I can go right off absolutely everything and that is hell, being starving hungry, hungry to the point of physical pain, but unable to find a single thing you can eat. Fortunately I am fat enough that its never going to finish me off and it's never happened for more than a few days.

As a kid - I was weaned onto pureed whatever my parents were having, after being breast fed until 8 months ish (dunno, can't ask her now, she's been dead a long time) - and according to anyone I can ask, ate everything willingly until perhaps 3 or 4 years old... and then it allllll changed and the range of foods I'd eat dropped dramatically.

I am dx AuDHD - my Dad is almost certainly AuDHD, my sister is dx ADHD - both display some food sensory issues but not to the extent of mine.

However... I am a super taster, neither of them are. I am fairly sure being a supertaster is likely to make matters worse for a kid with sensory issues/ND issues..

My own personal theory is that at the point kids realise that what they are given to eat may not be safe, instinctively, some kids respond normally to that, the range of foods they will happily eat without qualm drops... and then steadily goes back up again as they mature...

And those of us with a ND brain... don't do that.

But its hard to say as of course how parents respond has a huge effect - mine went down the force/abuse route, forcing me to eat things, hitting me if I gagged, same meal served up over and over until I ate it or it went off.. etc. So I don't know how much is ND brain and how much is abuse!

You have never given your child a piece of beige food?

OP this article is very interesting with Intel from Prof Williams who specialises in paediatric eating disorders.
Ive screen shot each page as I can’t tag the article.
Hope it helps.

People write this sort of defensive nonsense when they have no actual response to the comment in question.

Pg 3 and 4 🤣 apologies posted below OP

That is utter nonsense! "Finickness" my backside!

I don't think I was "the stupidest animal" as a child, but I would have rather gone hungry than eat something I didn't want to, and did!! My mother was desperate but I just couldn't do it, still can't.

Because, for the vast, vast majority of people, beige foods are included somewhere in their diets.

Or do you never eat bread? Rice? Pasta? Potatoes? Crackers? Breadsticks? All beige foods. Do you honestly never ever give your children anything that could be considered unhealthy or beige?

By the age of three?! Nope. No junk, no freezer food, certainly no Quavers.

My dd was weaned on fresh cooked meals, she's 10 now and she has always eaten a really amazing range of foods however, when she was 3 she would have rather died than put a vegetable in her mouth. The only things she would eat was chips, chicken nuggets and pizza. You're seeing a snapshot of her life and the kids diet.

You literally just realised the issue in your OP. He had quavers , your child wanted quavers… it’s great when they are little and in your bubble. My eldest had never tried a chip until he about 3 and didn’t have anything like McDonald’s until he was 7. My other kids were exposed to those kinds of foods much younger. We eat well at home but when out it’s often full on beige.

And yes some kids are more fussy - My youngest is extremely fussy and will only eat about 10 different foods. It’s exhausting as my older two are great with food. I’m hoping he’ll grow out of it

No pasta? No potatoes? No bread?

I don’t consider rice or potatoes to be problematic foods. That’s not what OP is saying this kid eats.

I’ve never given my toddlers juice or Quavers, no. I’m not sure why I would.

So none of your 3yo's have ever eaten bread, potatoes, crackers, breadsticks or pasta?

Because those are all beige foods. It's not just crisps or fries from McDonald's.

I’m just going to copy/paste. I don’t consider rice or potatoes to be problematic foods. That’s not what OP is saying this kid eats.

I’ve never given my toddlers juice or Quavers, no. I’m not sure why I would.

They become problematic when they're all a child eats, though. And then when they limit even more, so then they just eat plain white rice or a certain form of potatoes, or only a specific brand of white bread.

Quavers are just an example in the OP. Lots of other posters have explained how you get to the point of offering your child "beige".

Why is it so difficult for you to understand the level of desperation this creates for parents? No-one wants their child to go hungry so they will try absolutely anything to get the child to eat! If it happens to be bloody chicken nuggets, it's better than them starving!

We actually didn't have chicken nuggets ever when I was a child. Luckily I loved potatoes in all their forms, and that was my mainstay food. My mum used to pack me full of multivitamins too.

They’re not problematic beige foods though 🙄

Everyone has recognised that kids with autism may have serious issues with food.

But there is undoubtedly a problem for the kids when they have a restricted diet of high salt, high sugar, high fat, ufp foods, and it's not only autistic kids who have such a restricted diet.

If the OPs nephew had ASD, I think she would have mentioned it in her posts. I read someone who is frustrated that her sister isn't making more of an effort. Kids will generally choose the salty, sugary, fatty food when given the choice, so there's a valid question about the food options made available to them.

Multiple people, including me, have given actual responses to comments like yours. I could repeat them all but something tells me you’re not interested.

Same! My mother even hit me to make me eat. I just couldn't do it, and while I eat a lot more different foods than I did as a child, I still can't conquer green veg!

Absolutely agree
Mine never ate crisps at this age. I never had cause to stick preprepared freezer or ready meals in the oven.
Its all about variety really though. As much as possible. The odd cake isn’t going to hurt, it’s just an issue if it’s all a child eats

Hope you find the article helpful OP.

People just can’t comprehend this, but I am the same. I have never given my 3 year old DC quavers or juice either, although she has had lemonade at a birthday party. We just don’t have junk food in the house. As you say: why would we? They wont ask for it if they don’t know what it is!

What carbs did your child eat under 3?