Charity starts at home

[Berrytea]

I live in a seaside town with less than 10k people living in it there are nice parts but there are also parts full of poverty, antisocial behaviour and crime. The council keeps cutting back services and adding charges, and the local services are run by unpaid volunteers and not a charity. The council can’t afford to repair the school and the town is noticeably going downhill.
a lady on the local Facebook page was collecting donations and crafts, and other things for Ukraine and I asked her, and I tried to word it kindly, that I know about the war and the problems over there but there are problems here and there are people just a few streets away from her that would love those things themselves and she responded “this world is so divided, have a good day”.
Am I unreasonable to think that collecting donations for Ukraine is wrong when our own town is going downhill?

I think she is actively seeking to do a good thing and make a difference, and her focus differs from your own. Perhaps you could emulate her, and seek to do something similar with your preferred focus?

Yes you are wrong. Classic whataboutary. You didn’t have to donate but it was really poor form to complain. She responded to you with nothing but good grace.

Wouldn't say she is wrong. Your town may have difficulties but hasn't been hit war. She obviously thinks they are more in need. You don't, and that's your viewpoint. Perhaps you could consider volunteering/raising money for your town.

You may live in a seaside community but you also live in a global community.

Focusing on one aspect doesn't mean the rest doesn't matter anymore. It all ties in together eventually anyway.

Could you put out some feelers around supporting the local school, or organising a local fete/fun day to raise some money?

I'd see what people's interests in it are?

Thomas Fullers full quote was "charity begins at home, but should not end there"

You have the perfect opportunity to help those in your neighbourhood and then those near you can decide where to donate to.

YABU you can start your own collection for the needy in your town.

The saying is, charity begins at home. Not that it ends there.

If you disagree, don't donate. If you feel that strongly, arrange your own collection or fundraiser, or give your time to a local cause. You cannot tell other people what causes they must support!

So start collecting for those people who you know are in need instead of criticising others. Put positivity out in the world instead of thinking compassion should be ringfenced. This post is just very polite veiled racism - you reveal yourself in every sentence.

She can collect t for whoever she likes. If you think locals need collecting for, you are free to do that.

YABVU to complain about people do.good works when you're doing nothing.

What volunteer work do you do for your local area ??

Even ignoring your dismissal of how the war in Ukraine affects the people there, as some of their schools have been flattened, you are incredibly unreasonable to criticise somehow who does care - and is actually taking action to help.
It’s very easy to criticise others, so much easier than doing anything yourself.

It’s great you are so passionate about your local community. What are you doing to support them? People are allowed to care about and help whichever causes matter to them, no one is forced to donate or get involved in charity they aren’t interested in

Wow I can't believe you did that. Everyone needs help so instead of criticising others, what are you doing to make a change in your community

I'm sure there is poverty in your town but people haven't fled their homes because they've been bombed and possibly lost family members. Millions fled with nothing but the clothes on their backs, leaving their loved ones who were left to fight.

Why didn't you get inspired by her rather than moan at her.

Literally nothing stopping you do some good.

What is it that you’re currently doing to resolve these local issues that donating to or helping Ukraine would affect

The people who do nothing really need to stop criticizing those actually doing things and making a difference.

why can’t you raise money for your area since you feel strongly about it?

I think it was horrible of you to criticise someone trying to do a good thing. Nothing to stop you doing a good thing, but oh no, that’s too much trouble, why not just be mean to someone who’s a better person than you are?

Yes you are being unreasonable to complain however “kindly” 🙄at this lady doing something charitable. If charity does indeed start at home get off your arse and start something yourself.

Oh dear. You miserable busybody.

Btw in my experience the type of people who say “charity begins at home” are also the type of people who wouldn’t give the poor and vulnerable of said home the steam off their own piss.

How much fundraising and volunteering do you do? I've been involved with food banks and pantries for years, and the loudest, most 'virtuous' keyboard warriors are always those who are are far too busy to actually do anything themselves.

Yes, we do definitely have challenges here, but we aren't living our lives wondering if our house is going to be bombed or our children are going to be killed by Putin's army.
We as a country can do something proactive about the challenges we face in our communities. They cannot stop the invasion of their country.
If there is a local cause you are passionate about, I kindly suggest you look at fundraising for that yourself.

Yes. YABVVVU. You should be ashamed of yourself but I expect you're proud of your views? Are you near Clacton?