Receiving child maintenance once child has gone to university ?

[Bernie54]

Hi, can I ask if anyone still receives child maintenance from their ex once the child has gone to university ?

My Daughter (18) goes to university in September, she lives full time with me atm, and will stay with me when she returns for the holidays. Our original maintenance agreement states to pay until 2028, with regular reviews etc.

AIBU to expect this to continue? At least in the holidays anyway? Anyone else in this situation. For context I’m a low earner. He is not.

DP paid until SD left uni. He paid it directly to her during that time as she studied away from home.

If she’s getting PIP, full maintainance and you say DSA, how much extra she will need?

A bursary at Uni? On top of the usual loans?!

Agree with others - you chose to adopt a child and you chose to stop work to support her. This has resulted in your close relationship and her doing so well in life.

he is affluent as is his partner- not really anything to do with the previously agreed settlement and support.

with dss my dh paid until he was 20 (as per his divorce settlement) and although he gave his ex plenty of warning and it was the original agreement she still was unhappy but there was no legal battle etc.

she like yourself was a sahm and when their marriage broke down was supported by my sh a high earner - in an amicable settlement etc.

i made the opposite choice and invested in my career, working for literally nothing when my kids were small due to child care costs, but it has resulted in a good career. it is all about choice and sacrifice, there’s no right or wrong way and both options have good and bad points.

Your story is nothing like mine. Unless of course yours was an affair too and hidden ?

Thank you I agree, and lots on here are on the moral high ground, and very Judgy of me and my life decisions and of my daughter to be fair.

So do you have a Financial Order from your divorce that stipulates ongoing Child Maintenance until 2028, @Bernie54 ?

The poster meant a bursary for me for a back to nursing course not my daughter!

It’s not worded as child maintenance it’s worded as maintenance to me

Its for me to support her when she is home living with me in the very long holidays

Ah okay. I'm guessing that's very specific to your situation and family history. If you have it ordered, then it's legal advice you would need. Has he said he's not going to continue to pay it, or are you just fearful that might happen? You don't have to answer that here, of course.

We haven’t had the conversation. Things have changed somewhat since he remarried….his new wife the one he had an affair with is less accommodating

He cannot just ignore the order. He would have to apply to vary it, I think.

👏🏻 well done for noticing I wrote it twice

Sorry OP, AIBU is a cesspit. You could try posting on Legal.

For those acting like DSA is paid directly to her daughter, it’s not. It’s funding to pay for equipment and support at Uni to support with her studies and is paid directly to the company providing that support.

If you’re going to use any stick you can find to bear the woman, at least check it’s an actual stick first 🙄

You can get paid on a return to nursing course. The course itself is free. If you work full time it takes 3 months. Either you are sponsored by a organisation (hospital etc) and paid band 3/4 or you "volunteer" and are paid a stipend by nhs England although it's only £1k your future earning will probably be higher than a TA.

But you’ll save when she’s not there

and when she’s back for the holidays…. Surely we’re just talking one extra person’s food, bit more laundry etc?

How so? You say he’s never had any issue with paying you maintenance before now

I guess because it’s still 4 months away, so it’s something I’ve started to think about and he probably hasn’t yet. Plus we don’t communicate that much anyway

Yes probably. Like I said I was just asking if others had experienced this.

Eh? Not clever at all. She was 18, fully able to make her own decisions where she stayed. She stayed at her Aunts because she helped care for her disabled cousin in the holidays!

Thanks I will look into it, last time I checked a couple of years back, there was no options in my area. I even spoke to my old nursing manager. I have also lost my confidence a bit too and I do actually love my current role.

Well not probably

you’ll definitely save when she’s not there
and then when she’s back for the holidays, it’ll be one extra person’s food and some laundry which you can use the money you saved for (although she may well have savings herself)

And that is my point I now get your post because you added more context to it, there is a lot of assumptions from mine because I’ve tried to keep it generic as much as possible.