Receiving child maintenance once child has gone to university ?

[Bernie54]

Hi, can I ask if anyone still receives child maintenance from their ex once the child has gone to university ?

My Daughter (18) goes to university in September, she lives full time with me atm, and will stay with me when she returns for the holidays. Our original maintenance agreement states to pay until 2028, with regular reviews etc.

AIBU to expect this to continue? At least in the holidays anyway? Anyone else in this situation. For context I’m a low earner. He is not.

Even if you have an agreement for spousal maintenance it’s a fairly pointless “agreement” because trying to enforce it is so costly.

Ehcp's don't automatically transfer through to uni OP so defo worth looking into whether she is going to cope without the support it gives as there's no guarantee she'll continue to get it

Because she is an adult. The fact that she has chosen to go to Uni is irrelevant. Any money he chooses to pay going forward should go to her directly, not to you. Also, what his wife earns is absolutely nothing to do with it.

Yes I need to have the conversation with him before Sept, it has gradually reduced over the years anyway. I just wanted to put some feelers out

Avoid mentioning the affair or fact his wife earns well!

I have never mentioned the affair because he has never admitted it! Even though I know, he would destroy me through gaslighting if I did that. As far as he is concerned he thinks I know nothing

It’s not 10 years since we split I said I stopped working for 10 years, I literally had no choice at the time

Congratulations 😂

Just keep in mind, @Bernie54 , that the majority of posts on your thread are from people with no idea what they are talking about, just offering you their moral opinion. A PP suggested you seek legal advice and that's definitely the way to go, if you have maintenance for 3 more years as part of your financial order.

It does feel like a cause for celebration when I read some of the CMS threads on mumsnet!

I’m sorry you felt like that and agree it’s personal circumstances. I have a very dear friend who’s child is severely disabled but continues to work so you did have a choice you just made a choice that was right for you and your family.

Harsh
Also very small world view.
No knowledge or lived experience here, clearly

Child maintenance stops at uni, and they get loans from student finance to help with living costs.

we took what we used to pay our step daughter in child maintenance and pay it directly to her whilst she’s at uni. I don’t think there’s any obligation, you’ll have to be direct and ask him

There’s a law that may work. The Children’s Act Dependants.

https://family-law.co.uk/family-law-blog/university-and-child-maintenance-post-18/

Tempted to do it myself as my son is also off to university and his Father hasn’t laid eyes on him since a newborn.

What did you mean by saying you don’t get paid when someone suggested you could go back to nursing or healthcare ?

If you had a job ofcourse you would be paid.

Nothing to do with your OP but her EHCP won’t give any support when she’s at University, she needs to apply for disability support and possibly DSA

Yes she’s got DSA

The back to nursing course that I would have to do to re register as a nurse I wouldn’t get paid

Plus DSA (how much?)

Sorry I wasn’t very clear. His dad has treated him and his brother really badly over the years so for him this would be the final straw. If he had an involved dad then no I absolutely wouldn’t be ok with this but because I think he has been put through so much by his dad if/ when he decides to cut contact that would be completely understandable. His thoughts are if his dad could be relied upon to visit him if he was ill or help him with homework or do any normal parent things it would mean the world to him but he won’t so he thinks the least he can do is help him with some money at uni.

You’ve wrote that twice now but it still doesn’t make it his problem, your low income is your problem. He doesn’t have to worry about how much you bring in.

It’s an unfortunate set of circumstances, but it still isn’t technically his problem.

this whole thread really just emphasises how precarious it is to leave your job and not have a career.

I left my job when youngest dd was 2 for a few reasons. Was going to just be a sahm but I decided to retrain as a teacher. Originally just going to do supply but that turned into contracts which lead into a permanent job. I’m really grateful now even though I didn’t envisage working full time as a teacher, as I’m now slowly increasing my earnings and can easily support myself if I had to.

There was at least one in there that has a bursary - is that something you could look into ?