To tell parents I’m pregnant at 6 weeks?

[Fem1928374]

I’m 6 weeks pregnant with DC2, I already have a DS who has just turned 18 months and work full time so it’s full on. I’m suffering already with feeling exhausted and constant nausea/sickness.

My ILs are fantastic, they do 2 days childcare and help out whenever we need with DS. I know it would be super helpful if they knew I was pregnant as for example they would take DS to nursery 1 morning so I could sleep a bit longer or collect him from our house on their childcare days so I didn’t have to do the drop off feeling poorly. I would also like to tell my mum to have her support although she doesn’t live close by.

But DH is really reluctant and thinks it’s too soon. Wwyd? AIBU? I feel that if I miscarry I may need the support regardless.

My view was I told anyone I would tell and need support from if I had a miscarriage. So that was my parents, my best friend and my manager (we have a good relationship) and I told them all at 6-7 weeks.

There is no rule on who to tell when. Do what feels right to you.

Congratulations!

Tell anyone that you want to tell and are also prepared to tell if you have a miscarriage.

Exactly what @SummerIce said. Tell the people who you would tell if you had a loss. I told my nearest and nearest at six weeks but went on to have an MMC. I was glad I told them cause I really needed the support.

Oh congratulations, I would emphasise it was very early but you are pregnant, if you need help with your toddler more than usual it will be less stressful if they knew.

I was so sick and exhausted in early pregnancy, there's no way I could hide it from people! I would tell them. If the worst were to happen, you would want their support and care anyway.

Tell anyone you want to whenever you want to. I told my parents and PIL at about 5 weeks. Other friends as and when it came up so a lot of people at 10 weeks when they asked why I wasn't drinking at a wedding.

There's no rules about this.

I don't know. I think they are already doing a lot ! It might tip them over the edge.

If you tell them then don't impose on them more.

So you only want to tell to manipulate them into helping out more? 🤔🤦🏼‍♀️

I told my parents and best friend as soon as I had a positive test. I wanted to share my excitement and if the pregnancy hadn't worked out then I would have wanted their support in any case.

I told my parents at six weeks, partly as it was Christmas Day and the year before had announced my engagement that day.
Easy with the expectation of more childcare though. Yes it’s tough but don’t assume they will or can do more. DH needs to step up too.

Congratulations OP.

They’re your parents. YOU decide when to tell them. I told my boss at 5 weeks as I was immediately horribly ill with morning sickness. I didn’t want to look like a skiver. Told my mum immediately and everyone else about 10 weeks. The 12 week thing is really old fashioned and from the perspective that a potential miscarriage is shameful and should be kept to yourself.

Congratulations!

Of course you should tell them. I told my close family and friends as soon as I found out.

That's really unfair and quite nasty. She's pregnant and needing support, not manipulating them. Op has a good relationship with pils, sound like they would want to help her.

You know. Sometimes family are actually willing and happy to support and help each other out. Are you always so miserable?

I didn’t tell my parents until something like 16 weeks and I did consider not even bothering then. I don’t think DH told his mother until a few weeks before DS was born.

Your motivation appears to be wanting support from them which was never a factor in our case so things were done very much on our own terms as we are totally self sufficient.

I told people as soon as I did the test. It felt right that as soon as I knew, the family knew. They would have similarly shared the grief if it hadn’t worked out. There is no right or wrong time. It’s what suits you.

I’ve done it both ways, shared the news early and not shared. I had 2 losses and it was much better imo when people (close family/friends) knew already . The other way I felt like I was grieving in secret. Theres no right or wrong way. Congratulations x

I would just consider whether, in the horrible event that you had to make a decision to terminate the pregnancy in case of problems with the baby, you would want them to know about it. If not, then don’t tell them until you at least have the main blood tests/scans.

Why would you need support for a miscarriage at 6 weeks? I had them at 6 and 9 weeks and was better within a couple of days. At such an early stage your body bounces back in no time.

They are helping you a lot. If your only reason to tell them is to hope they will do even more, that’s a bit manipulative. Apologies if I misunderstood your point, but that was how it read to me.

Tell them when both you and your DH have agreed to share the news. And congratulations!

Tell them you are 6 weeks, it’s not an official announcement as it’s too early. They might be able to give you some help to get through the next 6 weeks until the worst of the first trimester is over :)

Because you would be devastated and might need some emotional support from your parents?!!

I would tell them. People seem to think there’s some rule about 12 weeks but just saddle themselves with having to keep a miscarriage a secret if the worst were to happen. It’s not a shameful event! If you want support, surely you want it in either eventuality?

If your DH doesn’t want to tell them can he step up and do the drop offs, pick ups etc as it doesn’t seem like he is doing much and you need support while experiencing pregnancy symptoms

Or you accept it happens in 20-25% of pregnancies so it’s best not to get your hopes up for a few weeks? It happens all the time and it’s best to be prepared. God knows it happened to me often enough.

Seriously, it was far better when pregnancy tests couldn’t tell until you were farther on. Very early miscarriages are ludicrously common and there’s no sense in railing against it.

I told my parents as soon as I found out.
I miscarried at 10 weeks and I would not have got through it without my mum. I think the idea not to tell people who are close to you in case you miscarry is backwards - fair enough don’t share with the world, I didn’t. But going through a miscarriage alone must be even more horrific!