Argued with husband in front of our friends

[JessicaJJ]

I am at my wits ends with my husband. We’ve both taken today off of work to give us a long weekend with with the BH, and met up with another couple we are friends with who have done the same for a walk and nice lunch. He usually works long hours M-F and is often working away so today was the first time he has done the school run since September. I am not joking when I tell you this is a conversation he had in front of all of us:

H friend - I bet you are glad you survived the school run
H - you never told me there was a new headteacher
H friend - what do you mean?
H - I’ve not seen tits like that since the sun stopped doing page three
H - If I’d have known before, I’d be doing the drop offs every morning

I ripped into him at this point, he went bright red and said he was joking. I didn’t care that our friends were there, this was so disrespectful and humiliating for me.

We’ve been home an hour now and he is still sulking saying I should have waited until we travelled home to bring this up. I disagree and think these sort of comments should be called out there and then.

He thinks I have had a sense of humour failure…

Is he 12?

Omg that is grim. Bet you felt like you were married to a 14yr old.

Oh wow. That's awful. You did the right thing. If this is how he speaks in front of you, what the hell does he say when you aren't there? Are there any other red flags or is all usually good with your relationship?

I'm with you OP.

That is a disgusting way to talk and needed to be called out there and then.

Your H is a disrespectful sexist pig.

If he talks like that in front of you goodness knows what he is like and what he gets up to when you aren't there. Because that type of talk and attitude to women didn't come out of nowhere.

Well he's just shown how he truly thinks about women. Disgusting little thing who thinks he is a man

Oh, and no, this shouldnt be done at home. More men need to be publically called on treating women like pieces of meat that are just there to please them.

How did his friend react?

He’s sulking?? WTAF??

Please tell me you don’t have daughters and he’s saying this sort of shit around them?

How would he feel if you were at work and a client made a similar comment about you?

What is wrong with men??

I would divorce my husband if he said that

Are you married to Jay from The Inbetweeners?

I mean, he really slipped up and forgot for a moment that you were there, didn’t he?

So now you know how he thinks about women, and how he talks about women to his mates.

Grim.

You say you're at your wits end so I assume he's usually like this. Unless he's had a knock on the head, it's unlikely a respectful and considerate man would start talking like a teenager.

Actually I agree with that.

Why would anyone want to be married to a man who viewed all the women he meets, who are going about their jobs and everyday life, as sex objects.
And who thinks it's ok to broadcast his assessment of their looks to anyone and everyone.

The comment isn't just about him being disrespectful of another woman, the fact he's done it in front of his wife is hugely disrespectful of YOU. Why should you stand there and take the humiliation in silence then bring it up later. Also, if i were a friend and you stood there quietly it would reflect even more badly on him as I would be wondering if you didn't speak up due to being frightened of him (that may just be me though).

Sadly the worst bit of it all isn't that he voiced it but that he thinks like that in the forst place.

You missed your chance of saying - deadpan.

"Yeah, but the Deputy Head, god he's amazing, must be hung like a donkey. I want to climb him like a tree."

Then polite smile and carry on chatting to your friend.

The best way to deal with shit like that it so confront immediately

Well done x

I was thinking the same: 'Have you seen the new swimming teacher he's hung like a horse, talk about budgie smugglers more like turkeys'

So grim. And embarassing. One assumes your friends were mortified too.

I agree. He’s only upset because he got pulled up in front of people and feels embarrassed, if OP had waited until they got home he wouldn’t have cared.

If you didn't pull him on it you'd be complicit.

I’ve taken issue with how he has spoken about our child’s teacher in the past (not the same one as he referenced today). After a parents evening he said something about how he found her attractive, but it was in far cruder terms than that and referred to her chest again.

The disrespect to both you and the Headteacher he was talking about is disgusting.
The fact an innocent thing like taking your children to school has made him notice the Headteacher’s boobs makes my skin crawl a bit.
What did your friends think? Did they react? If someone said that infront of me then started arguing with their wife I would think he was a massive prick and not want to meet up again. I think it would make me view your husband very differently.

What am I reading??
He has form for finding the teaching staff attractive and telling you about it?
Why do you stay with him?

Immature, disrespectful,but you already know this.

Ugh ugh ugh

He said that … and YOU are the one in the wrong? Right .

That would have been genuinely funny and totally in the spirit of what he said.

He thinks I have had a sense of humour failure…

Have you asked him to explain the joke to you?