Argued with husband in front of our friends

[JessicaJJ]

I am at my wits ends with my husband. We’ve both taken today off of work to give us a long weekend with with the BH, and met up with another couple we are friends with who have done the same for a walk and nice lunch. He usually works long hours M-F and is often working away so today was the first time he has done the school run since September. I am not joking when I tell you this is a conversation he had in front of all of us:

H friend - I bet you are glad you survived the school run
H - you never told me there was a new headteacher
H friend - what do you mean?
H - I’ve not seen tits like that since the sun stopped doing page three
H - If I’d have known before, I’d be doing the drop offs every morning

I ripped into him at this point, he went bright red and said he was joking. I didn’t care that our friends were there, this was so disrespectful and humiliating for me.

We’ve been home an hour now and he is still sulking saying I should have waited until we travelled home to bring this up. I disagree and think these sort of comments should be called out there and then.

He thinks I have had a sense of humour failure…

Yup. A bit of harmless Bantz both ways and everyone would have been happy.

Missed opportunity.

Your DH views women as being there for his viewing pleasure... simple.as that. Not that they are actually human beings, that deserve respect.

He will teach your children his ways; and they will grow up thinking that shit is acceptable.

Question is, what are you going to do about it?

Is the headteacher female?

I would have done the same, OP. Angry on your behalf!

So he reduced the head teacher to a pair of tits? Everything else about her is irrelevant, her tits is his main focus. He's gross and dumb.

It doesn't matter if you start talking about well hung men. Men haven't been objectified for centuries, it's not comparable at all and won't have the same effect as what he said.

So your dh makes regular comments about women’s chests to you and in front of you to other men and he regularly works away with his wondering eyes…

Sounds like a right prince.

Yes, I thought this, too.

Yuck that's gross

If I were your friend, this would change how I viewed your DH

But both men sound as bad as each other

If he works away from home and has opinions like that, I'd suspect him of going to lap dancing clubs at the very least.

I couldn't tolerate that, OP. He's disgusting.

My friend has since text me and basically said ‘I think they both forgot they were speaking with us present’ so was as unimpressed as I was.

I agree with everything other posters have said. SMH
Gross misogynistic pig. 🤢 🚩 big ick. Ugh

Aye they forgot to act like nice decent human beings rather than gross pigs. 🐽

True colours shining bright about how they view tits. I mean women.

What did his friends wife think - is she ok with her H speaking like that ?

What is your DH like otherwise, OP? I'm sorry but someone who speaks like that is not respectful of women at all.

Generally fine and a good husband, but he knows I disapprove of such crude and disrespectful comments about other women and it’s not the first time he has done it, just never in front of our friends.

I cannot imagine a grown man saying such things

Sulking??? Sulk right back at him then. He should be apologising for being inappropriate and embarrassing himself and also embarrassing you.

Men make these sorts of comments all the time but most manage not to do it when their wives are around. Most posters will imagine that their husbands would never (cluthing pearls) dream of uttering such sexist, disrespectful shit in a million years - but I bet they do - and if they're not saying it, they're certainly thinking it. Things will never change but you were absolutely right to shame him in front of everyone. Just don't have any more kids with him and consider whether you want your child brought up with his influence.

I would usually be on the side of don't make everyone else in the room uncomfortable by getting carried away with your relationship issues in public but that isn't what this is at all.
He made a horrible comment misogynistic comment and absolutely deserved to be called out in the moment about it.
In the process he also disrespected you, which is something that requires further consideration at a different time particularly if its an ongoing issue.

This is just disgusting behavior. Please don't let the we forgot you were there narrative to sway you. Decent men don't talk like that about women ever. Your H sounds like a misogynistic pig.

Instant ick. I think a lot of men notice breasts. But most of them aren’t stupid enough to discuss other people “tits” in front of their wife. Thick and misogynistic is not particularly appealing is it?

It’s good you called him out in front of your friends. I hope he’s embarrassed.

I agree but most have the decency to be pigs in their own heads and not at a child’s school.

Another day ending in Y, another disgusting man making horrible sexist misogynistic remarks about a woman to all and sundry and sulking like a bratty kid when he's called out.

Show him this thread, op!