Men talking at me

[Kellybonita]

A new male colleague has just started in my Job.

He has this way of talking AT women. For example, me , my boss another woman and him went for a coffee. My boss invited him then my boss had to leave early. So we were sitting with him. He will start telling a story about his life, and he will go on and on and on. And not even involve us in the conversation. He will talk at us, and not pause for a second.

To get a word in, is really hard. I will try to interrupt his stream of talk, but he will keep talking on over me. I've become so irritated that if it is me and another woman and him sitting there now, and he is talking on and on about himself, I will just turn to the woman and ask her something completely different. And then the two of us have our own chat. That does get him to stop

I realised i know a lot of men like this at work. They just talk on and on AT women. They expect us to just sit there listening to them.

Do you know men like that? How do you deal with them?

@Tapthisscreen do you understand what AIBU stands for?

Yes

The point is , why is it relevant?

If I wrote "a man is sexually harassing me at work".

And you came on and wrote "women sexually harass people too".

What has that got to do with anything?

We all know that some women in the world , sexually harass people. But I am talking about a particular incident that has happened to me. It's not relevant to what I'm saying.

So when I write "a man talks over me at work". You coming on and saying "women do that too" ....what does that have to do with what I'm saying?

Why is it relevant

you ask are you being unreasonable

did you just want yes or no answers?

if giving a no answer, the poster is likely to explain why

got it?

Saying "women do it too" is not a yes or no answer though is it.

How is saying "women do it too" relevant in any way to what I'm talking about?

And another poster has also pointed this out to you.

“Am i unreasonable to find men who talk over women annoying?”
”Women do that too!”

Thanks tapthisscreen!

Yes women do this too, but usually to other women.

They rarely do it in mixed company; whereas a man will often use this tactic to exert his domination over the women in a meeting / event / chat over coffee / whatever.

Oh come in OP, don’t be disingenuous. The tone of your post was to creative a narrative that men particularly do this, that it’s a male issue.

Some have agreed, many haven’t, it’s logical when someone responds, to say why they disagree with you.

These threads are coming in thick and fast to day.
Op how many more shit made up threads are you planning on posting to day.

I said it's the men at work that do this. Not the women.

I think I know what happens in my own workplace. The women don't do it

I think there's a few men on this thread.

As there are some posters on here who seem strangely hurt that I dare to criticise men in any way.

Because the sisterhood couldn’t possibly disagree with you 🤣😂

What’s funny?

There are definitely men on here. I can spot them a mile off

I've never noticed this. Maybe he talks at men too? I've known people who are autistic and some of them talk at people.

I know a few people like this but the worst one is female. She's a very kind person but is almost always broadcast only. We sometimes give her a lift to work (we all work at the same place) and we often comment that it's like listening to the radio in the car. She just talks and talks. 😂

Why would you need to be a man to defend them? What a strange thought process.

I'm very much a woman and found your post unfair as I actually know WAY MORE women who behave this way. I'm sorry your experience is different but this is a discussion forum and if you can only cope with your opinion being right then it isn't for you.

I'm happy to criticise men when I feel it's deserved but I won't go along with an assertion against men for the sake of it. I've genuinely never noticed men do this and I've worked in lots of places. I do know plenty of people who like the sound of their own voices - both male and female.

Yes, but what’s the POINT of your post?
You know someone who talks a lot? Not really very interesting post. Or are you trying to make a point about men?

Just because there’s pushback against your goady, man-bashing post, doesn’t mean the responses are from men! Grow up.

So childish!

No you grow up!

See how childish that sounds?

How could you possibly find my post "unfair".

It was literally a man that did it to me!

It wasn't a woman that did it to me. It was a man! Those are facts.

Why are you upset that I named the gender of the person that did that to me?

Why would that upset you?

What if you wrote "a man burst into a shop and stole my purse".

And I immediately wrote "women steal things too".

Eh? You’re the one who is lashing out because you don’t like the answers your getting.