To think that the best opportunities I’ve had in life happened because of the way I look?

[YourWiseNavyBeaker]

Looking back, I’ve realised that some of the best things that have happened to me - whether in work, relationships, or general opportunities - started because of my appearance. It didn’t necessarily keep me there but it got me in the door.

I’m not saying looks are everything or that they can replace talent, intelligence, or effort. But I do think in many situations, being attractive gives people an initial advantage.

AIBU to think that, whether people admit it or not, looks open doors in ways that other qualities can’t? Or is that just a cynical way of looking at things?

YANBU but it isn't really a revelation. It's well known that this kind of thing happens. I am on the other side of the 'average' fence and I'm fairly sure I missed opportunities in my younger days because of this. Thankfully, age is a great leveller and it's interesting to watch the 'pretty ones' coming to terms with being overlooked.

Good looks bias is definitely a thing in the workplace. It really ought to be included in unconscious bias training.

I’d say not given I’m exceptionally plain looking and overweight, but have never struggled to “get in the door” so to speak.

I do have drive, and have been told I’m warm and friendly, and make others feel at ease. I’ve only ever not got one job I applied for, and that was online without seeing anyone so I wasn’t rejected for how I look(and I know why I was rejected), I have a good career, I have a lovely partner and relationship. We’re comfortable in life without being millionaires.

I do think how you come across makes a huge difference, personality and your manner communicates so much. I’d also say things like how you’ve been bought up and the things you’ve had access to change it also.

YANBU. Sex sells.

Why do you think these situations have all been as a result of your looks?

It's Pretty Privilege.

Even babies show a preference for pretty people, we want them to like us so are nice to them.

The obviously if its a man in charge of decisions it can go bad quite quickly.

could not agree more

Sounding a bit spiteful and bitter there..

I think good looks alone obviously help, but confidence and charisma get you further. Actual talent is relatively far down the list a lot of the time!

i am currently traveling with a friend who has always been beautiful. we are early 60s now and she is still beautiful, but it is not the same. i ask a hostess if a table is available and they say no, need a reservation. she then says “let me ask” and goes in again expecting a different answer. it’s not working anymore and I have to say I find it really annoying.

Agree, great personality is far more endearing than vacuous good looks alone. Might get you through the door but if that's all you've got then I'm sure the attraction dims pretty quickly.

No of course being good looking helps - research backs this up.

There are quite a lot of good looking - but not stunning - people around though. So I guess there is always competition if you look at the world like that.

Discrimination and judgment is alive and well. Of course the people who are good looking have better opportunities.
Similar to the reasons class, weight, race, height, all play a part in opportunities.

That would annoy me too! She's too fond of herself, not an endearing trait

Because in a few of those situations, the attention or opportunity came before anyone really knew my skills, personality, or background. It wasn’t about what I said or did - it was the initial interest or access that stood out. I’m not saying looks are everything, just that they can sometimes be the door-opener in a way other traits aren’t.

If you’ve benefited from pretty privilege it’s a good idea to have a backup plan in the form of education and a curious mind.

Yes - but it can close doors too if you aren’t willing to do what’s required .

Well, it is pretty shit going through life as 'the ugly one'.

I think pretty young people often turn into beautiful older people...and the average lookers when young, stay average....so age isn't really a great leveller.

Looks count, not only in the workplace, but when it comes to dating and picking a partner.
Hopefully it's not the only thing that matters, who wants to be so shallow? but rightly or wrongly, looks will always open doors.

I doubt you are ugly....everyone is beautiful to someone.

Good looks will always help on first impressions but I guarantee however beautiful stunning a person is, if they are arrogant then they stand no chance. Nobody likes arrogance

Assuming two people have similar skills, are capable of doing the job, the better looking person has less experience, pretty privilege usually lands the job.

Absolutely - and I have both. Acknowledging pretty privilege doesn’t mean I’m unaware of the value of intelligence, education, or staying sharp. It just means I’m honest about how the world works.

YANBU but it’s always been a thing unfortunately. Classic stereotype of this is the glamorous but air headed secretary I guess. Referred to as ‘pretty privilege’ more commonly nowadays it will always always be a thing and those who heavily benefited from it will likely suffer the most from it when the next pretty young thing ousts them. So swings and roundabouts lol

I’d say the opposite actually. I’ve been in many situations where people seem to think I’m just nice to look at and then are quite surprised when I show that I’m intelligent and witty too. It’s like a double take.

That’s got me through the door much more than my looks.