To think that the best opportunities I’ve had in life happened because of the way I look?

[YourWiseNavyBeaker]

Looking back, I’ve realised that some of the best things that have happened to me - whether in work, relationships, or general opportunities - started because of my appearance. It didn’t necessarily keep me there but it got me in the door.

I’m not saying looks are everything or that they can replace talent, intelligence, or effort. But I do think in many situations, being attractive gives people an initial advantage.

AIBU to think that, whether people admit it or not, looks open doors in ways that other qualities can’t? Or is that just a cynical way of looking at things?

Funnily enough, I know plenty of arrogant twits who are doing quite well. And it's certainly not down to their abilities.

I think men and women may look at this differently.
A male interviewer will see a stunning candidate and a plainer woman, if both are as qualified, I am betting the stunner will get the job.

If a female boss is in the chair, she will also take note of the woman's warmth and ability to relate, which will probably override the physical appearance.

Beautiful when young is nearly always beautiful when old. People don’t suddenly become ugly because they age.

Pretty privilege is most certainly a thing. I’ve always thought I’m pretty average but I recall my sisters accusing me of benefiting from pretty privilege but frankly I also know how to communicate well with people. I smile and know that being open and interested in others go a long way. I’m well-educated and traditionally high achieving. But I don’t doubt my personality and maybe being physically standard helps.

It’s not just women who benefit from looks privilege, studies show taller men consistently out earn shorter men.

Yes of course. This is a pretty well known and obvious thing.

I can relate to this, except it’s not so much my looks as my gender. I work in a male dominated industry and get invited to things simply because I’m a woman. Sometimes it’s even explicitly stated, e.g. “we need more female representation at a client dinner, are you available?” I don’t care or mind, and why should I? Men don’t question why they’re invited somewhere, they just rock up and make the most of it.

I think it's very decent of you to acknowledge it, because usually it's women like me with a face like a bag of spanners who can see it going on, but pretty women are adamant it's not a thing. Perhaps they're usually hesitant to admit it happens because it could be judged as taking advantage, but man, if I was pretty I'd all up for any advantage my looks gave me!!

I’ve heard of companies ( historically ) who would only consider ‘ good looking or interesting ‘ women to do a customer facing job, so nothing much surprises me tbh. I think it goes on a lot more than we think it does or should do!

I'd say any good opportunities are good opportunities. Whether they come through luck, nepotism, good looks, hard work, being exceptionally talented in a specific field...

I wouldn't dwell on it too much and just use the opportunities you have as best you can.

Not an equal comparison though.. what about a female interviewer and a tall dark and handsome male candidate and a not so good looking one? I do think it’d be the same as the other way around, the good looking one would get it.

Yes, the bias in favour of good-looking people is a well-established fact - lots and lots of studies on this. We all have to play the cards we're dealt - don't feel bad about it.

That's quite sad.

I'm kinda glad that I'm ugly, at least I know my achievements are real and not due to perceived attractiveness.

I'm not so sure that would usually be the case.

I’ve been around many female bosses and they’re worse than the men sometimes, very “diet coke ad” and inappropriate around younger male employees. Women are very susceptible to a charming attractive man who is trying his hardest to get a job.