To think that the best opportunities I’ve had in life happened because of the way I look?

[YourWiseNavyBeaker]

Looking back, I’ve realised that some of the best things that have happened to me - whether in work, relationships, or general opportunities - started because of my appearance. It didn’t necessarily keep me there but it got me in the door.

I’m not saying looks are everything or that they can replace talent, intelligence, or effort. But I do think in many situations, being attractive gives people an initial advantage.

AIBU to think that, whether people admit it or not, looks open doors in ways that other qualities can’t? Or is that just a cynical way of looking at things?

It’s definitely a thing, I’ve been hired for every job I’ve went for and it’s been male managers that have hired me and also promoted me. (I’ve never done anything untoward!) but I’m blonde, I’m smiley and I wouldn’t say I’m ugly. I by no means think I’m beautiful but I know it’s helped me. I do however have a brain in my head and learn quickly and can pick up new skills easily, I think that’s being a millennial and growing up when things were changing every week! I know life would definitely have been harder on me if I wasn’t in the position I am in. I’d be the first to tell you I’m no oil painting but I’ll talk to anyone and have time for everyone so I think that helps too.

Don't you find that irritating, though?
Everyone likes a nice compliment and to be appreciated, but when people (I have to say women are as bad as men for this) show surprise because you actually have a brain...I think it's really insulting.
I am oldernow, so it doesn't happen, but being thought of as a pretty little airhead, even as a child, used to totally piss me off.

I think that the fact that you think it’s because of your looks rather than your abilities or skills is quite sad. It sounds like a lack of belief in yourself

My dd is very attractive-far more than I was. She says it’s a double edged sword-in a male dominated industry, she gets lots of attention and a foot in the door but in some ways, her looks count against her as people assume she gets on because of her looks. Or they see her as an airhead so not taken seriously.

Agree with PPs that being charming / endearing / an attractive human is a HUGE bonus - being physically attractive is only one part of that.

I’ve never been hugely pretty - but I have good teeth, a cohesive sense of personal style and I’m a good conversationalist. I’m sure those things have opened far more doors than my degree ever did. Those things are a consequence of a privileged education / upbringing which prioritised the ‘whole package’ over just grades - it’s so hard to imagine how to make sure everyone gets access to learning those skills.

I hope she has her wits about her, sometimes young women have to learn very early on that some men are only interested in them because they look good....a bit of arm candy.

No woman wants to be sought after merely because she looks good, I imagine it's the same as a wealthy man who is in demand because of his money.

I had a very attractive friend group when I was younger in my 20s. We would go out and end up getting invited to members clubs, get free drinks all night, get invited into the VIP areas, out in yachts for the day. Always got the jobs we went for. I must say now in our middle age that these things don't happen for us anymore. I actually wish I had taken more advantage and gone for full golddigger while i could.... as that ship has now sailed 😂

Erm, ok? Would you like a medal or something? Very odd post, just a way to try and say 'I'm soo attractive everyone!"

Btw, it is entirely subjective. You won't be attractive to everybody, trust me.

And no before you say it, I'm not overweight, bitter, jealous or anything. Just sick of these stupid baseless posts for posters to go on about how 'gorgeous' they must be. Stfu.

I read somewhere once that the vast majority of male works leaders were tall. Physical traits do impact our journey through life. It kinda reminds me of the game - would you rather.....

There are lots of factors that influence our progress. I am a very good story teller and it is a skill that gets me through interviews with ease. I just have that knack as did my father. I also think I am a very good joke teller but my kids disagree - what do they know.

Being physically attractive will probably help you navigate life a little easier but it's not the only thing.

It’s not about being attractive to everyone - it’s about noticing how certain doors have opened, and being honest about why. That’s not bragging, it’s reflection. If that feels uncomfortable, maybe ask yourself why.

I quite enjoy it. I can literally see them suddenly realise I’m a lot more interesting than I look.

'Maybe ask yourself why' ha, nice little put down there. I'm good thanks.

I was with you till your last comment...bitchy.

I kind of get where @Coronationchicken34 is coming from. You've had opportunities and you have assumed it's because of your looks. That's seems quite conceited. I'm sure lots of beautiful people get on in life and don't think it must be because they look so amazing.

What kind of opportunities though? For most jobs you also need skills and experience. If you have them and you're attractive as well that might have helped, but it's naive to think you can get on just by being pretty.

I agree - looks alone won’t get you far if you don’t have the substance to back it up. My point was more about that initial access - being noticed, getting in the room, being given the benefit of the doubt early on. After that, it’s always about what else you bring. But I do think we’re kidding ourselves if we pretend looks don’t play any role in how some doors open.

For the record i don't think I'm unattractive. Just don't feel the need to make a thread on it.

Sounds a bit creepy as I’m assuming they were older men?

I thought the same when I read that.. when I think of all the beautiful women I’ve known, they were beautiful until they died unless they didn’t look after themselves (and don’t mean surgery)

of course it does

i know a lady who literally gets things handed to her on a plate as she uses her looks. Do not blame her either frankly

I missed out on the pretty looks but I would say my humour has certainly opened doors for me.

No, was just young people having fun... it was a lot of hedonistic fun. We didn't go for the old men, there were plenty of city boys and trust fund kids flashing the cash in the 90s and early 2000s...

Ah okay that’s a bit better 😆

You’ve only just realised this?!? It’s been this way since the beginning of time!