To think that the best opportunities I’ve had in life happened because of the way I look?

[YourWiseNavyBeaker]

Looking back, I’ve realised that some of the best things that have happened to me - whether in work, relationships, or general opportunities - started because of my appearance. It didn’t necessarily keep me there but it got me in the door.

I’m not saying looks are everything or that they can replace talent, intelligence, or effort. But I do think in many situations, being attractive gives people an initial advantage.

AIBU to think that, whether people admit it or not, looks open doors in ways that other qualities can’t? Or is that just a cynical way of looking at things?

Try being in the company of a nearly 6 ft teen who is confident and looks like a 90s supermodel. Eye opening.

Sure - but there’s a difference between knowing something and actually reflecting on how it’s shaped your own life. That’s the part I was talking about.

Do your 'best opportunities' include the man always paying on the first date, your engagement ring costing three months' salary and your cohabiting partner paying all the bills and bringing masculine energy? Because you really write like another poster who keeps popping up

I think the kids nowdays are all gym buffs and clean eating.... I do feel sorry for them.. At least I have the memories 😂

I think pretty young people often turn into beautiful older people...and the average lookers when young, stay average....so age isn't really a great leveller.

Youth makes people look better, soft skin, "fat" in the right places, etc as we age our faces get thinner, longer, noses get bigger but generally someone who is actually good looking with a good bone structure will still have that.

I think the kids nowdays are all gym buffs and clean eating.... I do feel sorry for them.. At least I have the memories 😂

I was talking about this with my friend the other day, I'm convinced they are going to have major mid life crisis's as they have never let their hair down!

I feel I recognise this thread almost word for word from one that appeared a couple of weeks ago.

Of course. It’s well established

Not sure what you want people to say? You sound a bit tedious and attention seeking TBH.

Yes! Reminds me of the Samantha Brick days 😁

Strange! I don’t have the facility to search but I wonder it it’s identical!

See I don’t agree with that, young people all have that fat in their faces but they look like kids. I think people are far more beautiful when they lose that fat and you can see the bone structure, plus the fine lines, smile lines, crows feet all adding character and wisdom.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

@Overtheatlanticabsolutely agree with this. Just been having conversations re pretty privilege with my 14 year old DD, I’m not biased but she is very pretty just beginning to realise it and I’m really encouraging her to take all the opportunities educationally as she’s bright and looks will wear off pretty quickly.

Yes, for average people it is. But for stunning people then 90% are in their favour.

Properly beautiful people are still so at 60+ and still get better treatment. Beauty changes with age of course, but it doesn’t fade if the person takes care of themselves. I bet that the PP who was hanging out on yachts in the 1990s is still a head-turner assuming she’s a similar size and looks after her hair and skin. Because the bare minerals are still there.

Maybe it was your stunningly high self esteem that helped grease the wheels , OP?

The OP literally states her good looks didn't keep her there, just opened the door.

I know exactly what you mean. It's pretty grounding to realise you're experiencing something so cliched firsthand but unaware of it.

Some are assuming that beautiful people are dim. More likely is they are just as competent as the plain candidate but their looks get them through the door. It is unfair.

I ended up in the City at a top firm. The only two of us who were not public school / Oxbridge / Harvard / Yale were me and one other girl. We both looked very similar to each other (slim /conventionally attractive /brunette). There were legions of lawyers as good or better than the two of us.

Absolutely, as PPs have said it shouldn’t be so, but it is.

When I was talking to DS about an interview he was going to recently and explaining why aside from the technical side of discussion, the basics of looking smart, being friendly and engaging were important. I said to him that whether it is right or wrong, based on two identical candidates the person to be selected will be the one they ‘like’ the most, and appearance definitely come into that too.

Well yes it is a 'thing'. Don't diminish or downplay your achievements though and credit them too much to this, as you say it may open doors but it doesn't hand success to you on a plate. Sometimes it can hinder things too, one of my friends is an engineer, she is extremely clever and capable but because she is also absolutely stunning she gets so many hateful comments at work (mainly from women) and people often assume she's only where she is because she's slept her way up rather than because of her talent. If she was fat and ugly woman people wouldn't assume this.

Totally agree. It's a myth that money doesn't make you happy and it's what's inside that counts. If Marilyn Monroe or Kim Kardashian were ugly no-one would be interested. Looks can bring great wealth with very little effort or personality. It's shallow and unfair but that's the way the world works.

Not sure. I’ve been reasonably successful in my career in I’m average looking as far as I’m aware.

There has to be some good personality for the looks to achieve anything and open doors. It does happen, but it doesn’t happen for the beautiful woman with a surly look on her face, who never smiles and has no manners. It’s not looks alone.