To feel embarrassed over DM’s lack of planning

[Plonv]

DM said oh let’s go out to a village 20 miles from here and have a small picnic. I thought she did some research. No she didn’t. This village has no green, park etc. so parents and I had sandwiches on a bench at a bus stop. I felt embarrassed. Then there’s DF with prostate issues who needs to visit the loo. Had to use a tree outside the village.

DM didn’t do any research as places she wanted to visit on the way back were closed due to today being Easter Sunday.

I don't think you're being "unreasonable," exactly. I could see you feeling embarrassed if everyone knew your DF was urinating on a tree in public.

I would say it's a very small issue though, in the overall scheme of things. A chin up and carry on kind of thing. :)

Are you a child?

40 plus. Has other threads.

Then you need to assert yourself - and decline if your research reveals there is no green or public loos.

You sound like you're about 6 with all this "not allowed" business. Whether you're allowed or not, simply go ahead and use your phone and make suggestions. You're an adult and cannot be told you can't do these things! Ludicrous.

Sweet lord we had no plan either today just got into the car with the dogs. we didn't know where we were going just stopped every so often in the country admiring the view letting the dogs walk a bit on their leads. Sat in the car eating out sandwiches 🤷‍♀️ now on way home tired but enjoyed the day.

I would find eating a picnic at a bus stop and my father urinating against a tree embarrassing too. I would guess op was accompanying her parents on an Easter Sunday outing and that the lack of forward planning is not a rare occurrence. I’m also guessing her mother in particular domineering, always has been and although op is a grown woman, she is still expected to tow the line.

Here’s the thing op, it won’t change until you do. You need to change the way you deal with these situations or accept that this is the way things are going to play out. Personally, I would limit my time with them. Go off and do your own thing.

Embarrassed, who are you feeling embarrassed in front of? no one would know except you just told everyone.

Embarrassed people don't tell everyone their 'dirty laundry' only gossips who revel in putting others down and stirring the pot do.

Why do posters think that adults aren't told off/bossed about by their parents?

If this is genuine, Op you might be better off posting in Relationships.

How old did you say you are??

And let your DM worry about your DF's prostrate issued (not your problem) 😀

I don't think he/she is a grown woman. I think it's a child posting.

OP is on other threads. She is at least 40.

Lord above, how old are you?!

You're joking! 😮

Why are you embarrassed?

Seems like a huge overreaction on your part (also, give the man a break, prostate issues are not his fault)

🤨

Seriously? Research assertiveness

You're 'not allowed' and get 'told off'?? You need to assert yourself and stop being bossed around like a little child.

You are.

We would see nothing embarrassing about sitting on a bench to eat sandwiches. The lack of loo business is a bit stronger, but really is down to your DF to feel embarrassed or not.

I wonder if there are other issues, either learning issues or anxiety. Whether you feel the need to plan ahead while DM struggles with detailed planning either from an ability or aversion perspective and thinks, Oh for GS can't we just wing it sometimes.

Agree with PPs, sitting on a bench eating lunch and watching the world go by is a lovely way to spend time.