To feel embarrassed over DM’s lack of planning

[Plonv]

DM said oh let’s go out to a village 20 miles from here and have a small picnic. I thought she did some research. No she didn’t. This village has no green, park etc. so parents and I had sandwiches on a bench at a bus stop. I felt embarrassed. Then there’s DF with prostate issues who needs to visit the loo. Had to use a tree outside the village.

DM didn’t do any research as places she wanted to visit on the way back were closed due to today being Easter Sunday.

Why do you go out with them?

This village has no green, park etc. so parents and I had sandwiches on a bench at a bus stop
How exciting. Sounds like a wonderful adventure to me. Banana sandwiches and a flask of coffee, or was it lashings of ginger beer?

If it was 20 miles away I assume you drove there. Otherwise you'd be complaining of the reduced bus timetable for the bank holiday weekend too.

You're an adult, either continue googling and find somewhere better or go home!

So many of us have wasted our time on this post! The poster has been asked time and time again how old she is, but has refused to tell us.
This is either a wind up or some prat who has nothing better to do, lighting the touch paper and standing back. And WE FELL FOR IT!!

Enjoy the rest of your Easter hols, OP.

How old are you Op? Was there anyone else present besides you and your parents?

I suspect this op lives with her parents at their home and is maybe even dependent on them for transport

Bit harsh. She might have confidence issues, or even be very comfortable just letting others take control, or perhaps she's always had overbearing or dominating parents.

I looked at her other posts out of curiosity and there’s one saying that she went to Cadbury World in 1990 and bought mug sets. She must have been an adult then if that’s what she was interested in buying, so she’s likely in her 50s or 60s.

I looked at another post by OP - curiosity got the better of me.
She mentioned going to Cadbury’s world in 1990, so she has to be at least 40 I would think.

Yes you are, assuming you're an adult with your own life, money and home?

Which I don’t think is the case sadly

Goodness me. I think it's time you cut those apron strings OP and lived your own life. Assuming you are an adult, your DM should not be treating you like a 13 year old so why are you letting her? Does she always behave like this towards you?

@Plonv So she pretends to "organise" something whilst not organising anything, and then gets annoyed when someone else tries to step into the breach to save the day due to her lack of organisation? Yup, I'm with you OP - YANBU.

Fine, then she doesn't moan about it. Take your life by the horn and get some control. Sort out your confidence issues, stop being passive if you don't like to be told what to do!

Look, I went looking for the Bastille based on the fact that there wouldn't be a metro station with that name if it wasn't there.*
Surprisingly, Oxford Circus is very light on lion-tamrers, clowns and trapeze artists...

• this was pre-google - i.e encyclopaedia

You obviously haven’t had overbearing parents!!

Tried all you suggested. Was met with anger and shouting etc….
And when you’re sharing a car, you’re stuck (esp if you’re in the middle of nowhere as the OP described on Easter Sunday)

Ofc you can also go NC. That’s taking control. That’s also a really big deal that the OP isn’t ready for. Like a lot of adukt children.

Time to move away from your parents. You don't say how old you are but if you're over 18 you can live by yourself. Start saving every penny to get a deposit together.

@Plonv i get what you mean about the lack of planning, even down to checking if there are public loos available when it’s clear your dad was going to need them.

However,
1- eating a sandwich at a bus stop in a small village isn’t that much of an issue. If you had been in the middle of a big town, yes. But not in those circumstances.
2- the situation says a lot about them both (!), not about you. They chose where to go, didn’t check. Their responsibility. It reflects on them, not on you,

Seeing their reaction to you proposing to check other places etc… I’m going to guess it’s an ongoing issue.
I think most of the answers on this thread are way too harsh. Once on the way to the picnic, there wasn’t a lot you could do. But there is a question on you want to handle your relationship with them. If not checking the place is a recurrent issue, you could easily only see them when YOU know what’s going on - aka a well known place for all of you.

You have my sympathies. I have overbearing parents who often plan badly then you have pretend it’s all fine. They also hate doing anything not planned or hosted by them. I have learnt the hard way to only interact with them within limited circumstances.

To those posters repeatedly telling OP they are an adult, I honestly think OP from nature of post and few replies before they bailed out is a child on their Easter hols lol.

Told off? How old are you? How old are your parents?

😂

When I was 4, I was very disappointed to learn that Carshalton Beeches was nowhere near the coast.

I was so looking forward to playing by the sea, and it was just a park...

I can get you being annoyed but you sound about 12. If you’re so enmeshed that you have not yet managed to assert boundaries with your DM (like being able to suggest other places you know are open), then there’s something very awry with that relationship, of which you bear some responsibility. So I’ve voted YABU.