DH will no longer do joint posts on Instagram

[Whatslovegottodo25]

As per the title - Easter Sunday is off to a dreadful start with ‘D’ H and I already having had an argument.

Some background, we have individual insta’s but for any major ‘announcements/events’ as such we will use the collaboration feature so the post appears on both our grids. Think engagement, wedding, pregnancy-gender reveal/birth, anniversary etc.

It’s our DD’s first Easter so I’ve got her a brilliant outfit, some props and of course eggs. I’ve also got a personalised sort of sign which says it’s her first Easter.

I said to H I’ll get the photos done after breakfast and we can joint post. He says it’s stupid to do this and doesn’t warrant all the effort as it’s ’only Easter’ so he won’t be putting it on his grid.

AIBU to feel pissed off with him? It will look strange if it’s only on my page.

Looks like the OP is in their twenties if their username
is anything to go by? Millenials are early 30s to mid 40s. Though could be a random number, I suppose.

OP, do share what props you were planning to use? Did you have to borrow them from the local primary school??

WE KNOW PP DIDN'T MEAN GEN X. SHE HAS ALREADY SAID SEVERAL TIMES THAT SHE MISTYPED.

So you have had an argument on your daughter’s first Easter because your DH doesn’t want to take photos of the perfect Easter to share with the world. Would you rather have a lovely Easter Day in real life with the people you love or have a shit Easter but give the impression to your friends/family that it was perfect?

Completely agree these SM posts are so predictable!

I of course assume by this you mean mumsnet? The social media on which you’re making your entirely predictable posts?

As it happens we don’t post photos of our children as we don’t agree with it. However I never can get my head around the ‘they’re too young to remember it’ school of thought for fun things. We did loads of fun activities with our children before they were old enough to remember. You’d be a very poor parent to do otherwise.

OP I get this is a break in expected behaviour but I wouldn’t take it to heart and I wouldn’t let it spoil the day.

Calm down

🍿

Too late - that was Friday
We need to be rolling away the stone from the tomb conveniently dug in the back garden...

I very much doubt this is real. Who buys props for Easter

It’s our wedding anniversary in a few weeks and I’ll be livid if he pulls a similar stunt.

I'd be preparing an anniversary post of divorce papers.

Perhaps you could try mediation? I can see both sides of this - it's important to you to post a joint message showing a happy family in new Easter outfits. But it's no longer important to him. Best to nip this in the bud and sort your differences on such a fundamentally important issue.

This is the funniest post I've read on MN in a while!

Given that the OP feels Easter is a major event I imagine to make it fully authentic they have dressed the kid up as Jesus and intend to fully reenact his rise from the dead.

Stop the world, I want to get off. This thread has inspired me to get off the internet and go outside, so there's that. Good grief.

I’m a grandparent, and I’d die laughing if my sons or daughters-in-law carried on like the OP.

Skip the drama

Just file for divorce now.

This is bloody ridiculous. Social media is not real life. It's not there for you to "grid" your perfect life with your perfect DH. Sounds like he's seen through the BS and just wants to live in the moment, as you should.

Pathetic. Grow up. I'm cringing on your behalf.

Even The Waltons were not this OTT!
Come to think of it, nor were the Ingels in their Little House on the Prairie
Anne of Green Gables may have been this way inclined tho - she was too good to be true

OP, you’re getting a hard time on here because most of us are far too old to appreciate how important social media is to you.
Gently, though, if this is genuine, I’d take a step back. You say you do the joint posts for things like pregnancy announcements, gender reveals etc. To you, your DD’s first Easter is clearly up there in that list; to your DH, it’s not. You will have countless moments like these throughout your marriage, where you think one thing, and he thinks another, and how you deal with them will be key. Do you want this to be the hill you die on? Is it worth falling out over? If it’s important to you to mark the occasion, that’s fine — but if he doesn’t want to, why does he have to?

Has anyone alerted social services?

It doesn't need to be on both.
If the picture was a Happy Easter greeting from the three of you to your friends, that would be different.

I think he's right, she won't care or remember. I find birthdays, Christmas, Easter... start really meaning something from 3 years old or so.
The only reason I put YANBU is because it obviously means a lot to you BUT you can't force him to joint post if he doesn't want to (I personally have never done joint post, I could not care less about that sort of thing, but that's me, hey).
I would:

1. Have a discussion with him to see what he thinks of joint posts, genuinely. If he doesn't actually care or like them that much, I'd rethink another way to celebrate those things together that means more to both of you (I'd say, social media is not a very meaningful way to celebrate anything imo)
2. Have a light hearted discussion about why Easter is important to you, and be curious about what it means to him. Personally, Christmas has always given me anxiety and most of my memories of it was my parents arguing and being snappy with us because of the stress, while my partner has really joyful and fun memories full of little traditions. On the other hand I LOVE Easter much more than Christmas because it reminds me of very joyful times in the sun with my siblings doing egg hunts and forest trails (far away from my parents 😅) while my partner doesn't really care. This means he puts more effort into Christmas and I do more for Easter, with adjusted expectations on both sides.

Op you need to stop living your life for Instagram. Your need to post insta-perfect grid posts online is impacting your real life relationship with your partner. Kindly, I would question why your first priority for your first Easter with your child is to set up a photo shoot and post photos online rather than having a relaxing day with your family. Having photos of your kids growing up is important, and I’m sure your family like receiving them, but you should be taking photos to record memories as they happen, not living to take photos IMO.

Get off your phone and play with your daughter.