"Ipad Kid" ??

[Becc91]

Worried I'm going to be grilled for this 🙈... But has anyone else noticed that whenever you go out to eat there always seems to be a sticky toddler with an i pad?!
After seeing this for a 3rd time this week , complete with spaghetti hoops on the screen , a nasty cough and vacant parents who could care less - one of whom was ON THEIR PHONE 😱 i made what I thought was a reasonable request

to turn off the loud video of dancing fruits , only to be looked at like I'd grown a 3rd head?!?! DS (19) typically embarrassed- says I was out of order , but I just can't understand the laziness of it all.Is it just me?😲

On these threads it’s always the same defensive responses “my kid is autistic” (fine but most aren’t so doesn’t always apply by any means- also please use headphones) or “you only see a snapshot of their day”,

I agree with you. It’s not teaching children to sit at a table and interact, or learning patience. We never used tablets or phones in restaurants, so depressing how many do.

Agree.

I took my two primary age kids (4 and 6) to a restaurant for lunch this week. They had crayons and a menu to colour in but weren’t really fussed with it. We talked about our food and the activity we had just done and then enjoyed our meal. I feel for parents of kids that would find this a challenge. What did parents of kids with ASD/GDD do pre-screens? Aren’t screens just as overstimulating as being out and about?

Are you joking? Or just totally selfish and bringing up your children to be equally inconsiderate of others? You say "we are all just trying to enjoy our own meals" but seem to totally ignore the fact that being forced to listen to your child's choice of music spoils other people's enjoyment of their meals.

I really do hope it’s a spoof.

A whole generation is growing up having had their emotions regulated by a screen.

It's an unmitigated disaster.

Agree.
We worry about childhood attention spans and yet keep kids plugged in and zoned out.

I'm guessing you aren't sat at your table for at least half an hour before you eat at home though, plus time in between for paying the bill or maybe getting a pudding? And surrounded by strangers?

DS (5) is autistic, has never had a tablet or used our phone (except for us to show him pictures of places we're going or something) But he'd get very restless at a restaurant (like most little kids!) so we go at quieter times, pick places where we can go outside and look at the menu in advance so we can basically order straight away. And yeah we'll take little figures or cars or a little drawing pad to keep things calm in between people watching, chatting etc - so we're all still interacting but not disturbing others. He has ear defenders too, to help him if it's a bit noisy.

If he's really finding it too much (doesn't happen often but sometimes, for whatever reason) one takes him outside whilst the other settles up.

Interestingly it isn’t unusual for adopters in the early weeks to be told to avoid screens etc with their children as it can lead to the child becoming more attached to the device than their parents.

Yes But at home, the kids can be playing or colouring in another room (or even at the table), then you call them to the table when the meal is ready, then the family sit down to eat together. In a restaurant, there can be a lot of waiting for orders to be taken, drinks & food to arrive, then perhaps waiting for deserts to come so sometimes it’s a long wait. when ours were little we took colouring books, sticker books, chatted about stuff then when really desperate quietly played “I spy”. Ours didn’t progress to iPads & still aren’t allowed phones at the table either at home or when eating out and they are mid teens. I found taking colouring books etc kept them happy & occupied in restaurants without the need to disturb others.

How did people ever manage to go out for family meals before these addictive devices were available for small children? Ah yes, talking, colouring, ispy etc etc

DD is very good at eating out having done so at least weekly since newborn, when she was little I would take toys, colouring and books. Now she’s older she’s allowed her iPad with earphones BUT it’s the only time she’s ever allowed it, I don’t let her go on it at all at home, we’ve bought that ABC mouse educational app she’s doesn’t have free reign on YouTube etc.

I hate hearing iPads blaring in public it’s so rude, recently there was a kid on a flight playing loud music a couple rows behind us and another passenger politely asked the parents if the noise was coming from them, the family got so aggressive that cabin crew had to come over. Awful people.

You sound like a nightmare....do you really think everyone should have to listen to other peoples iPads phones when they've paid for a meal?.

I'd be embarrassed if I was your DS. Leave people to do what they want to do, a dancing fruits video is hardly inappropriate or extremely distracting. There was no need for you to say anything.

It’s society’s fault - we’re all so intolerant of little kids these days. A curious, exploratory two year old is simply not designed to sit still for ages while adults eat. They should be running around and making noise and exploring. Restaurants should have play areas and pubs should have climbing frames like in the 90s so they can let off steam. And people should be less precious and more tolerant of noise and general developmentally appropriate behaviour.

Parents often use screens because they fear social judgement if their kid is not a perfect little angel. They can’t win. People are more tolerant of my bloody dog than kids these days.

We’re very lucky to live near a deli where the (Italian) owners chat to our two preschoolers and adore the loud laughter etc so we go there instead of using screens. Kids are so different too so it’s no use being smug. My youngest is super easy and she’d definitely sit with a colouring book. My eldest is super smart and more exploratory - at two he’d have been toddling towards the kitchen and at other tables. No way would he sit still for the duration. He was a covid baby so we didn’t eat out much or watch any screens inside but yes, I might have used a screen had we been out in the wild somewhere he couldn’t explore.

No wonder school early years setting are reporting so many issues with children unable to concentrate and self regulate their emotions.

No screens at school. How long before parents start demanding that their child should be allowed access to a screen in primary school.

This again 🙄
9/10 times we will entertain DC with colouring / games whatever you have it. There is always that one time where they go ballistic, running around crazy in a busy restaurant, no attempt to drag them back to sit still and distract with an activity work (especially when they were in that 2-3 yo stage), so iPad it was. 1, so we could eat yeah, but two so they don’t run in to a waiter with a tray full of hot food, or trip and smash their head on the corner of the table, or violate someone else’s space. Wish people would stop judging a snapshot in time and saying parents are lazy. Sometimes you just need to slap a plaster on.

iPads shouldn't be loud but I wouldn't assume a snapshot is reflective of how a family are.

No screens at school

My dc have a Chromebook at school...

@happyhermione agree

Primary school?

yep

Many primary schools use screens now...

i respect that some kids might have a need for such a device to help them cope with being in an overstimulating environment but I also think a lot of people nowadays are just obnoxious and don’t care who they’re bothering. If it were just he odd autistic person (1% of society) doing this it would be no problem but the masses of other people jumping on the bandwagon just because they feel they can now makes it hard to not get irate at everyone.

I was once on a 5 hour train journey. A group of 4 men got on together and chatted/had a laugh for the first 2 hours and when they ran out of steam they all retired to opposite corners of the carriage and put TV shows/football on their iPads FULL BLAST. I was sleep deprived, grumpy and had a sleeping baby so gave them all shit and guess what they all had headphones and put them on, they just initially felt totally at ease with ruining everyone else’s train trip.

I feel sorry for parents of autistic kids, general society’s patience for noise like this is probably at an all time low because of obnoxious non autistic twats doing what they like.

When my dc were much younger I would sometimes allow an ipad so we could eat in peace. As they get older they were no longer needed.

Agree. Or - just as bad as kids making noise - mothers actively engaging with them, aka "performance parenting". There is no acceptable way to exist in public with young children.