"Ipad Kid" ??

[Becc91]

Worried I'm going to be grilled for this 🙈... But has anyone else noticed that whenever you go out to eat there always seems to be a sticky toddler with an i pad?!
After seeing this for a 3rd time this week , complete with spaghetti hoops on the screen , a nasty cough and vacant parents who could care less - one of whom was ON THEIR PHONE 😱 i made what I thought was a reasonable request

to turn off the loud video of dancing fruits , only to be looked at like I'd grown a 3rd head?!?! DS (19) typically embarrassed- says I was out of order , but I just can't understand the laziness of it all.Is it just me?😲

No screens at the table for us. The rule applies to everyone, including the adults, with the exception of photograph taking etc. When we go out to eat/pub we take toys/colouring in books etc. Our daughter is used to it, sometimes she gets bored but that's young children.

But if other parents want to allow their kids to turn into Ipad zombies I couldn't give a stuff. It'll be your problem later when you have a screen-addicted 10 year old.

Frankly, using the "additional needs" shield for every topic like this, means lazy parenting of children without SEN just gets accepted. Yes, we should live and let live, but maybe we're missing opportunities to show new parents that this isn't the ideal/normal scenario for every neuro-typical kid.

On the flip side, diners need to accept that children without iPads are going to be taking up more "space" in the restaurant. Maybe they will stand up and walk around the table more, or speak loudly or maybe even whine.

Children need to learn the skills of waiting for food, having a conversation and generally being present in social situations. Parents need to do better at keeping their kids occupied with said conversation and little games and interactions. Sadly I think some parents lack social skills to the point, they barely know how to socialise with their own kids!

We used to enjoy taking some small puzzles out with us, or a sticker book. Now my DD is 10 (with ADHD i might add) we take a small card game or play eye-spy.

Is there a reason you can't talk to your child and engage with them instead of sticking them Infront of a screen?
I have three children, two of whom are autistic and have never used screens while we are eating ( doesn't matter if it's at home or out and about). Two are teenagers and one is four but even our four year old doesn't ask for a screen because he knows that's not what happens at meal times.
If you have to put your child Infront of a screen at least use headphones.

Books and colouring: the gateway drugs to devices. 😂

It’s actually not coco melon. It’s dancing fruit - google dancing fruit. My son loved them. But I have to say the music that accompanies it is really kind of annoying. Much much more annoying than anything like cocomelon and very very repetitive.

I do not allow iPads (generally speaking) in restaurants, however I do appreciate that everyone has their own reasons to do it. I would be mindful of the volume if it was my own child watching one hypothetically, I would not ask someone to turn their iPad down. I would never want anyone to feel ashamed of the decisions they make just to get through that meal.. yet it is sad to see how many children rely on technology these days just to get through the day! Just my opinion.

I agree. I am definitely addicted and it’s got quite bad this past 3 years. As I’ve had a bit more time, working less I’ve filled it with my phone.

I couldn't give a shit if someone's kids are glued to a screen..not my kids, not my problem. I don't and will never allow my own kids to do it. What I do have a problem with though is those who decide it's acceptable to inflict peppa fucking pig or cocomelon or whatever other crap their kids are glued to on the rest of us by letting them watching it with the volume on.

Absolutely.

And make some compromises. If my children couldn't sit politely at a table in a restaurant, we didn't go. There is no point.

I agree with you OP. Whenever this topic comes up, there are always loads of replies saying 'my child is autistic etc.' but the vast majority of children aren't autistic, so it's fair to assume that most kids put in front of a screen at mealtimes are actually neurotypical. And in that case, it's just lazy parenting, because the alternative (interacting with your child) is too much effort for these parents.

Another excuse that is always trotted out is 'it's only for the duration of the meal'. But in my experience, if you see kids silenced by a screen when they're out and about, it's the parents' go-to method for keeping them quiet, and they will have hours of screen time every day.

The thing is though, a restaurant meal is a much longer, drawn out affair than a family meal at home. Plus the stakes are a bit higher - if they start messing about they might disturb other diners which is obviously not on.

And it doesn’t have to escalate, it fact it’s definitely possible to scale it back as the child gets older. We used to bring colouring etc for our DS when he was a toddler / pre-schooler. He’s 6 now and happy to just join in the conversation and has the patience to wait between courses.

As long as the volume isn't too loud, it shouldn't be heard over conversation.

I don't know why people continue to be so defensive about screens when it is increasingly clear that screen time is detrimental. I am not ashamed to admit that I have given my child a screen when out but only after they have been sitting for about an hour or so, actually usually colours in on it. The only shows she's allowed to watch are Bluey, alphablocks and numberblocks and the volume is always muted. Even then, I feel bad if she gets more than an hour during the day.

But the reality is tablets and phones are detrimental to us all, especially children, and the less time any of us spend on them the better.

P.S. For any defenders of Cocomelon, it is awful and designed to be addictive. Please research slow paced cartoons instead.

I agree with you OP. I understand there will be a percentage of children with additional needs who may need to be regulated or an exhausted parent who just needs a bit of quiet time but there are also parents who just can’t be bothered and see tablets as easy, they don’t care that there’s a restaurant full of people whose enjoyment of their meal has lessened because all they can hear is kids tv. I regularly see babies (6 months plus) with mobile phones attached to their pram watching tv shows. I was on a bus recently and a mum gave her maybe 5 year old her phone and it was so loud, another passenger nicely asked if she could turn it down as she had a nasty headache. The mum was fine about it but not sure why she didn’t think herself that it was too loud without strangers having to alert her to the fact! People seem less bothered by the world around them and often see no harm in doing exactly as they please with no thought to others!

NOBODY in there is enjoying their meal because your precious darling is ruining it for everyone.

Exactly. Feel for this kid 😬

The sound is not usually off though, that's the problem.

Rot your child's brain and stunt their development by allowing them to use screens rather than develop social skills if you must. But don't disturb other people while you're doing it.

Of course it occurs to them! Don’t you think they might have tried everything but in that one scenario at dinner where it may be a family celebration of something they’re gonna use the iPad so that other diners are not disturbed?
Also Autism is not a one size fits all label. I’m surprised you don’t know this

In the "good old days" my teen would have been in an institution, I'd have been discouraged from having him to live with me at all. There is very little precedent for how families raised their kids like this, and nowadays people are increasingly hostile.

Hope that helps!

I don’t really care what other people do to get through a meal out with their kids. My 7yo has an iPad thankfully we don’t need to use it in restaurants as she can wait for her meal/chat to us or is happy with a colouring sheet, but it saves my sanity on long car drives to give me a break from I-spy…

However, I was at the park with my DD yesterday and a grown woman sat on the bench watching Hollyoaks on her phone at full volume without headphones whilst her 2 boys aged about 4 and 7 were throwing sand at other kids….did make me think she could at least have put some headphones in if she was going to watch that at the park… and maybe keep an eye on her kids?!

If you want to avoid 'sticky toddlers' and the noise that goes with them, going to restaurants with spaghetti hoops on the menu three times a week is not a good shout.

9

Parenting lesson on how to breed an entitled brat. He is in a public place disturbing others around him. Of course he should be wearing headphones.

your child needs to wear some type of headphones then! His not liking the feel of them, doesn’t trump the needs of an entire restaurant!
No headphones no ipad, don’t be such a passive parent

DH and I have agreed to keep our toddler away from screens for now but we also have trouble in the shops as DC is stimulated by everything. We know once a tablet is introduced it will change things.

I find younger Gen Ys and Gen Zs one of the most polite, thoughtful, creative and ambitious people in the workplace though and these are kids that had increased screen time over previous generations while growing up.

I think I’m unable to conclude whether I agree or not. I feel tech is taking over everyone’s life. I see many adults pouring over screens. I can’t walk past a bus stop or a coffee shop for example without seeming half a dozen people glued to their screens. Maybe it’s a problem for everyone not just small children and their parents/guardians - it seems more widespread.

If a child, or adult for that matter, needs a bit of screentime to self-regulate, that's one thing, but it shouldn't be loud enough to disturb other people. Volume controls exist for a reason.

(Not the same as parenting by screentime)