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AIBU?

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Original poster

"Ipad Kid" ??

489 replies

Becc91 · 19/04/2025 22:08

Worried I'm going to be grilled for this 🙈... But has anyone else noticed that whenever you go out to eat there always seems to be a sticky toddler with an i pad?!
After seeing this for a 3rd time this week , complete with spaghetti hoops on the screen , a nasty cough and vacant parents who could care less - one of whom was ON THEIR PHONE 😱 i made what I thought was a reasonable request

to turn off the loud video of dancing fruits , only to be looked at like I'd grown a 3rd head?!?! DS (19) typically embarrassed- says I was out of order , but I just can't understand the laziness of it all.Is it just me?😲

OP posts:
BernardButlersBra · 20/04/2025 01:42

Becc91 · 19/04/2025 22:41

Sorry @TheaBrandt1 but I REALLY can't see how I'm the entitled one, can you explain?

You aren't entitled. You are just challenging shitty behavior which other people don't like

The neurodiversity is just a cringey excuse. I'm neurodiverse -don't do this. One of my children is and they don't do it either

TheHerboriste · 20/04/2025 01:54

SallySue87 · 19/04/2025 22:35

As it goes, my DS doesn’t like the feeling of headphones. So I will NOT. Force him to do something he is uncomfortable with for other peoples comfort 😠

It’s called common courtesy.

playing devices in public is antisocial.

Catlady63 · 20/04/2025 03:18

There is lots of evidence that screen time is damaging for kids - autistic, ADHD and ODD kids too. If any parents aren't aware of this it's an easy google search.

Despite what some PPs have claimed, it really shouldn't be a binary choice between plugging your kid into a screen and let them run around shouting, or god forbid, starve.

You can do what parents have done forever - set boundaries, engage and distract.

Springtimehere · 20/04/2025 03:21

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Poppins21 · 20/04/2025 03:22

Stickortwigs · 19/04/2025 22:45

I never take books, toys or colouring to a restaurant. It sets the expectation that the children need to be entertained, which escalates to screens.

You wouldn’t have them at home, so we stick to the same format. Also don’t eat out later than the usual routine so children aren’t tired and restless.

This is how we were with our daughter and she always behaved in a restaurant. She was always looking forward to getting her food though.

SendBooksAndTea · 20/04/2025 04:49

Catlady63 · 20/04/2025 03:18

There is lots of evidence that screen time is damaging for kids - autistic, ADHD and ODD kids too. If any parents aren't aware of this it's an easy google search.

Despite what some PPs have claimed, it really shouldn't be a binary choice between plugging your kid into a screen and let them run around shouting, or god forbid, starve.

You can do what parents have done forever - set boundaries, engage and distract.

Yes this, it may look as though it is helpful in the moment but it is actually causing far more problems in terms of their development. Screens used in this way are really harmful, I don't think everyone who allows their regular use understands the huge impact they are having yet.

Also, if the child can't wear headphones then they need to just watch or play with no sound on, that isn't a hardship and is just basic common sense and manners. Same goes for adults though.

MyUmberSeal · 20/04/2025 04:58

SallySue87 · 19/04/2025 22:35

As it goes, my DS doesn’t like the feeling of headphones. So I will NOT. Force him to do something he is uncomfortable with for other peoples comfort 😠

God forbid 🙄.
What a fucked up world we live in. I despair at some of the drivel some mums come out with.

GenderFluid90 · 20/04/2025 05:11

Nothing worse than a loud iPad sound in a restaurant 😩 Yanbu

PivotPivotmakingmargaritas · 20/04/2025 05:19

YANBu/and YABU

I used to judge parents with kids on tablets but after a week of nap refusal and arguing 2 year old I just wanted 10 mins to eat in piece and regulate my emotions before tackling the afternoon

However I have the volume low or off and ensure it wasn’t bugging anyone else

MakeItToTheMoon · 20/04/2025 05:28

I wonder how families ever functioned at restaurants/ cafes before the invention of screens? Life was so much more simple before and I do find screens to be so distracting for adults as well as children.

ElliesNextNameChange · 20/04/2025 06:03

SallySue87 · 19/04/2025 22:35

As it goes, my DS doesn’t like the feeling of headphones. So I will NOT. Force him to do something he is uncomfortable with for other peoples comfort 😠

I can be over-literal sometimes but this is satire right?

BellissimoGecko · 20/04/2025 06:07

SallySue87 · 19/04/2025 22:21

I think that you are being COMPLETELY. Unreasonable. My DS (4) would be BANANAS without his ‘dancing fruits’ ITS CALLED COCOMELON by the way 😡 HOW DARE YOU GO AND DISTURB SOMEONE ELSE! We are all just trying to enjoy our own meals, and if my DS wants to enjoy dancing fruits and music with his jacket potato SO BE IT!

in that case, YOU are totally selfish and unreasonable. Your kid’s desire to watch something does not trump everyone else’s desire to be able to sit in peace or talk without having to listen to second-hand music.

whitenoisewave · 20/04/2025 06:20

I want to relax while eating and not threaten my child a million times to sit still before the food even arrives. I barely went out to eat out when I was a child myself so won't compare my childhood with my own dc before the "we didn't have screens when we were young" police arrive. At home the food is already at the table, child sits and eats and it takes 15 mins, they don't sit at the dinner table for 1.5/2hours like in restaurants so it's unreasonable to expect them to sit nicely and avoid disturb to other diners. Yes kids without headphones are annoying because they also disturb other diners, it defeats the purpose.

TheaBrandt1 · 20/04/2025 06:23

Mine are late teen now I’m a late adopter so they didn’t even have iPads. We had one iPad in the house and that was mine they never went near it.

They just watched some telly at home when we were having down time / I made tea like we did as kids in the 80s. So I really have no truck with “we need this to get by ans parents” argument. You really don’t.

Nosleepforthismum · 20/04/2025 06:25

Now, with the kids at age 3 and 2 we can go out for a meal without having to resort to a screen but we absolutely used them when they were younger and all else failed (on silent). Sometimes, it was the only way to finish the meal without a 1 year old screaming the restaurant down. It’s got easier the older and chattier they’ve got and I don’t regret it because they are generally really good kids in a restaurant these days.

Jewelanemone · 20/04/2025 06:27

How on earth did we all manage to sit around a table and eat before screens were invented? Those of you who use tech to parent your children - what would you do if screens didn't exist? The whole 'my child needs it to regulate/be entertained' nonsense wouldn't apply if you hadn't ever given them screens in the first place.

CynicalSunni · 20/04/2025 06:27

We were on holiday a few weeks ago and went to a restaurant. A family near us all had their faces stuck in their phone the whole dinner. (Except the granny)

The dad was literally hunched over his soup and had his face in the phone the whole time. The two kids had their faces kn their phone couldnt see the mum. But the granny was just sitting there with nobody talking to her. Couldnt believe they would invite her on holiday and just ignore her. I could never ignore my two grannys like that when they were alive.

Not high season so only a few tables so highly noticable that we were the only ones talking at the table.

And across the way were a couple with their little baby. Baby had ipad and both parents heads in phone.

Sad state of affairs.

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 20/04/2025 06:28

supersonicginandtonic · 19/04/2025 22:17

@Becc91 my brothers youngest daughter is one of these children you describe. She is also severely autistic and it's the only way they can go 'normal' family things with the older two children.
Don't judge unless you know the story.

If the only way they can go to normal things as a family is to use electronic devices with the sound on and ruin things for everyone else, they can't go to normal things as a family.

Lou202020 · 20/04/2025 06:29

As much as I don't agree with the IPad situation especially when you can hear the sound. I would much rather that than a entitled dog owner with a dribble dog under the table. Toddlers are humans and annoying habits from them/ the parents is at least part of human behaviour!

Poppins21 · 20/04/2025 06:30

whitenoisewave · 20/04/2025 06:20

I want to relax while eating and not threaten my child a million times to sit still before the food even arrives. I barely went out to eat out when I was a child myself so won't compare my childhood with my own dc before the "we didn't have screens when we were young" police arrive. At home the food is already at the table, child sits and eats and it takes 15 mins, they don't sit at the dinner table for 1.5/2hours like in restaurants so it's unreasonable to expect them to sit nicely and avoid disturb to other diners. Yes kids without headphones are annoying because they also disturb other diners, it defeats the purpose.

Edited

It’s absolutely not unreasonable to expect a child to behave and have manners. We have be taking our daughter out for meals since she was a toddler and we have always expected her to behave. She is 10 now and ofcourse knows to behave in a restaurant but even at 3-4 she knew not to run around, make noise and disturb others as we made our expectations very clear. Other dinners want to relax too and not be disturbed and we always felt it was our responsibility to ensure our daughter did not disturb others enjoyment of their meal.

Eachpeachpearprune · 20/04/2025 06:30

Stickortwigs · 19/04/2025 22:45

I never take books, toys or colouring to a restaurant. It sets the expectation that the children need to be entertained, which escalates to screens.

You wouldn’t have them at home, so we stick to the same format. Also don’t eat out later than the usual routine so children aren’t tired and restless.

It has never escalated to screens for us. What’s wrong with a bit of colouring in whilst waiting for dinner…!? It’s not the same as at home - it’s a much longer wait to order, wait for food, wait for dessert etc where mine can eventually get a bit antsy so we bring colouring for them to do whilst they’re waiting (and chatting to us!)

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 20/04/2025 06:30

SallySue87 · 19/04/2025 22:35

As it goes, my DS doesn’t like the feeling of headphones. So I will NOT. Force him to do something he is uncomfortable with for other peoples comfort 😠

If this is serious, the answer is that you don't take him to restaurants.

Kitchensnails · 20/04/2025 06:34

supersonicginandtonic · 19/04/2025 22:17

@Becc91 my brothers youngest daughter is one of these children you describe. She is also severely autistic and it's the only way they can go 'normal' family things with the older two children.
Don't judge unless you know the story.

I knew someone would say this, first reply no less!

Brownsauce89 · 20/04/2025 06:41

Usually we don’t use screens either at home or out while eating, but it’s nice to occasionally have an extra option of something for the children to do, if it were needed. You never know, the parents might have been up since 5am playing non stop with the toddler and just need a few minutes! (Headphones always though imo)

00deed1988 · 20/04/2025 06:44

My eldest is autistic and my youngest has ADHD. We have never used screens at a restaurant but I get there is different spectrums and parenting. However my eldest gets totally overstimulated when he can hear the tinny noise coming from a nearby device constantly. Doesn't matter if it is quiet or loud. He gets really distressed. Happens all the time in restaurants and public transport. People just don't care though. As long as their child is fine it doesn't matter what they put other people through and ruining their experience.

To be fair it isn't just children. The other day I was out with my sister who has down syndrome, my eldest who is autistic and my toddler nephew on a long train journey. They all has a device to keep them occupied. I ensured all had sound off/headphones and there were two people near us, someone in late teens/early 20s and another in their 40s with their phones on loud watching what I assume were tik toks with swearing in. Just no respect for anyone else.