To think you should never cohabit with a man unless he’s paying the majority of the bills?

[ThisSereneSnail]

Split finances = split energy.

So what's your issue exactly? What are you posting about if you have the dynamic you want? Or are you saying you don’t have the dynamic you want?

If someone is paying more and someone paying less, then you have inequality there. Why should the person paying more respect the person paying less? Could potentially also open the door to resentment, especially if your provider starts to feel less than charitable.

I don't see anything solid when your masculine energy provider decides he wants to pay for a much younger feminine energy provider instead of the old one he's got bored with and no longer wants to pay for.

You are leaving yourself in a very vulnerable position.

https://www.instagram.com/stories/sheaadopesoul/3614133770623000272?igsh=MWxzcmNzYXd6YnlxcA==

When I refer to masculine provision, I’m not saying only men can provide - I’m saying that in the relational dynamic I choose, the act of leading with financial stability and protective structure feels aligned with masculine energy. It’s about polarity, not outdated roles.

A woman can absolutely provide and plenty do. But when she’s also carrying the emotional and invisible load of the relationship and the finances, it often leads to burnout and resentment. Some of us don’t want to be in that position.

It’s not that money = masculinity. It’s that leading with provision, in partnership with nurturing and emotional depth, creates a flow that feels more balanced - to me. That doesn’t make it universal. Just intentional.

Nothing you have said has altered my initial reaction of bs. There is nothing masculine about providing. If that works for you, then great but it’s not a generalisation.

Come back when he’s replaced you with a younger model and see how you feel about financial leadership then.

Your life is a mess if Mr Wonderful dumps you. How long have you been married?

We have financial, emotional and practical equality - I recommend you try it. It’s worked for us for 30 years.

Oh it's you again.

You recognise?

Of course women can be leaders and many are. But not all leadership looks the same and not every woman wants to lead in the same way. My point was that both sons and daughters should be raised with purpose, emotional intelligence, and the tools to create lives that reflect their values - not just society’s default. Leadership isn’t gendered but how we express it often is. And that’s okay.

Are you Lauren off married at first sight?

I didn’t realise golddiggers were still in fashion, seems rather 1980’s.

The kids of these relationships don’t do well, the boys grow up entitled and seeing women as slaves, where as the girls have poor aspirations and learn they are a household appliance and nothing more:

I work PT and my DH works FT and earns a lot more than me so of course he pays the majority because he has more money! I work PT to look after my son after school so I do most of the housework, the shopping etc. If I worked FT and earned more, it would be the other way around. If we were equal it would be 50:50. There are a lot of factors to think about!

Funny how no one asks that when someone’s preaching 50/50. I’m not sharing a tax return - I’m sharing a perspective.

You don’t really say much about your life experience @ThisSereneSnail but you come across as really naive and young.

im 55 and have been in 4 long term relationships and one marriage - to a very financially wealthy masculine man - who turned that into financial abuse and infidelity, maybe I didn’t bring enough feminine energy to it, too busy working and raising 3 kids.

my point is that all relationship dynamics and ‘power’ shift through the years and with life changes - your ideal man could become abusive, resentful, made redundant, have a stroke - you have this very Disney princess happy ever after view which does suggest you are young and/or very inexperienced in relationships

me, I always knew my worth so I’m happily single by choice for the past 16 years - it’s bliss

Split 50/50 yes. Anything else, no.🤷‍♀️

Come on now it’s a simple question.

Soft energy’s not on a tariff but it’s priceless. Not everyone has the range and that’s okay.

Its a simple question as length of marriage can impact on your view point.

Have you ever actually had a proper, long, relationship with a man at all?

I believe this AI bot poster may have had recent threads about how much an engagement ring should cost, why a man should pay on the first date, and why it's not acceptable to date a man who earns less even if they are kind.

What is soft energy?

But op you are still equating financially providing and “leading” a relationship with your so called “masculine energy”.

why is it masculine to provide?

I think you may be right as this is a first time poster. Definitely AI vibes.

They sound like someone who has never been in a long term, committed, grown up relationship.