To think the school could do more to accommodate working parents

[Eastie77Returns]

By working I mean parents who do so out of the home (don’t want this to turn into a SAH/ working parents debate, I know all parents do work of some nature)

DD is going on a residential trip next week. Parents are asked to drop children off at the venue at 12.30 and collect them at the end of the residential “sometime between 12 and 3pm, we will let you know what time exactly on the day”

It’s pure bad luck that I have all day work meetings/training on both days. The residential venue is a short walk from the school and a number of teachers will be going from the school to the venue mid morning. I spoke with some parents who are also a bit stuck due to work commitments and we collectively e-mailed and asked if our children could be dropped of at school in the morning and then walk with the teachers to the venue. We were told no (no reason given). We asked if we could get some clarity around pick up time on the final day as 12 - 3 is quite a window of time and were told no as it depends on the weather and if the children do an outdoor activity on that day or not. We are to keep our phones on and look out for a text from the school. The school also often schedules meetings at 3.45 for example and there are other instances where they have organised events mid morning/afternoon.

I am very lucky to work for a flexible employer and I will somehow have to adjust my work schedule but some parents I spoke to work in retail, medical settings etc and do not have that option. AIBU to think the school could do more to take into account there are parents who cannot just start work in the middle of the day or up and leave at short notice to pick up their child?

Just seen the update. Utterly ridiculous. Definitely escalate to governors.

Sigh…

I find this very odd. The residential being only ten minutes walk from the school but they can’t get dropped off and picked up at normal school hours is really weird. They really should allow you normal school pick up and drop off times.

Is this trip during the school holidays when the teachers are likely to be working for free or during term time?

I would ask school to issue whatever forms need to be signed so that one parent can walk a pack of them there, or to arrange with the venue for a set of kids to arrive early and leave late. It isn't reasonable as you've described it.

One other idea. At DS primary school, a workaround for unusual early close like parents evening is always the third party after school club. If you have similar near the venue, then perhaps you could contact to ask if they can step in to provide an optional service for parents?

A residential trip is always going to be a bit uncertain.

I think they could make an adjustment here in saying students would be able to stay until the end of the day, and/or may leave their bags at reception at their own risk and walk home.

However teachers really go above and beyond to run these things for students, often with vanishingly little thanks and much grumbling from parents. With morale so low in the sector these opportunities are balanced on a knife edge. The more you grumble, the less likely it is that these trips will be available in future. I sent a quick email to a teacher who took my child to Paris - Paris! - and got an astonishingly effusive reply saying I had made her week. If you are going to grumble about this, remember that every teacher on the trip will be giving up entire evenings for your child, for free.

“if you've known for months (as is common with residentials) rearrangement of meetings/trainings should have been possible, no?”

No, not always by any means. My DS travels to Europe two or three weeks a month as needed. If he is needed, he has to go. His DW looks after the DC while he is away - but if the residential was in a day she works, she certainly wouldn’t be able to drop everything in the middle of the day. And as another poster said, if any of those children had two teacher parents, no way could they waltz out of school to accompany their DC.

People know that going into the profession. People know when they send the kids to school is 9till 3 or whatever. Not sometime between 12 and 3.

If you want to see a dentist, solicitor or accountant that'd be in working hours but somehow the expectation for schools is different.

No, DH used to see clients outside working hours - say a doctor, so they didn’t have to cancel a clinic. Afaik, law and accountancy don’t just adopt working hours. They work as many hours round the clock, as the job requires and the idea of a 35 hour week is a chimera! My barrister emailed me at midnight once; my solicitor used to ring me up at 6.45 am, when I was fast asleep in bed. I was very grateful, as I usually had to wait 2 weeks for a phone call!

I remember one of DS’ friends, who trained with the one of the Big Four, and worked normally 6 am - 9 pm, told us the latest initiative to provide a better work balance was to let the staff leave work early, one night a week, so they could go out to the theatre, etc.

Most schools seem to run on the basis that it is 1950 and Mum has nothing better to do than be available to comply with school timings normally with no notice

I certainly send emails at all times but thats different to a physical meeting. My dentist, and GP only offer appointments within their surgery hours, my accountant is 9-5.

I don’t know about dentistry, but afaik in law and accountancy, they don’t have physical meetings or take phone calls usually after 5 pm, because they may spend half the day being interrupted by phone and need the time after 5 pm, to concentrate on their written work.

Clients just don’t see it, because the idea is to work without interruption, not for clients to take the opportunity to ring them up all night as well!

Is it a normal school day in term time?

Ive never heard of this before. Every trip my kids have gone on with school, they’ve gone to school at normal time in the morning and been picked up at normal pick up time.

only exceptions being when they need to be in early or get picked up late due to bus timings.

In this situation I think our school would ask for a couple of parent volunteers to help walk the kids to the venue

I do appreciate the work and effort teachers put in.

There hasn’t been any grumbling from us (to the school). We didn’t reply to the email from the HOY refusing to accommodate our requests and just left it at that.

I’m not sure the timings have to be uncertain though. I can already see the weather forecast for the last day and it is meant to rain. So surely they can just decide in advance “we are going to do x indoor activity on the last day and will finish at 2pm”

Sending a text message to parents sometime between 12 and 3 with a pickup time is not reasonable.

It’s a normal school day. DD goes back to school next week which is when the residential is taking place. I have never heard of this kind of set up before either.

That was my child, because the schools I taught in certainly didn’t allow time off for the school events of teachers’ children.

This is a bit crap of the school. They should have planned it to start and finish at the normal school start and finish times even if it mean parking some of the kids in front of a video for an hour.

The teachers have already given up their family time to take them in the residential. In situations like this they get a parent if a classmate to help out.
I am a part time TA. I have to do residentials. I am on duty 24hrs a day, I’m kept up most nights dealing with behaviour, homesickness, friendship issues, illness. I don’t get paid for it. I just get my usual part time wage.
It’s utterly, utterly exhausting. When I get back from the residential I am on my knees, there is no way I can entertain them for the rest if the afternoon.
In the morning before we leave there is a lot to get sorted.
Whilst I am away my husband has to use some of his precious annual leave to make up for my absence.
I obviously don’t expect thanks (it’s more usual to get complaints about not being able to accommodate a specific request that they’re child had: we do our best but parents are unrealistic about what 3 adults can do with 30-odd children) but some flexibility from parents with dropping off/collecting would be nice.
I am donating my own, and my families, time for the benefit of their children so it’s a bit galling when you get parents saying it’s unreasonable to collect/pick up because it’s inconvenient for their work.

I wouldn’t mind asking another parent to help but just feel like a CF as I’ve already asked (different set) parents to help with DS after school pick up as his childminder has suddenly stopped working. FMAL😭

I remember coming home from a residential trip in the 1980s. Coach dropped us off at the school gates and kids just walked home if their parents hadn’t turned up. This was at primary school!

Yes. How crap of the teachers to give up a week of their own and their own families time. After all they are having a weeks holiday in luxurious accommodation, no doubt lazing around.
Let wring the last drop of blood out of the bastards.

I opened this expecting to think you were being unreasonable - in general, schools are not responsible for parents’ childcare challenges as difficult as that makes it for many parents. However, in this case the school are being massively unreasonable. I think it’s fine to ask parents to do this if they can, but there needs to be an alternative arrangement for kids who can’t be dropped off/picked up outside of normal school hours. They also should be giving a specific pick-up time - they supervise them until that time, regardless of activity/weather (barring extremes or significant unforeseen situations e.g. residential centre has staffing issue or no toilets functioning or whatever - although even then I’d expect them to walk the children back to school).

He’s showing you exactly what your life will be like if you have children with him. Thank him and go and find someone who is suitable.

These threads always attract the teacher pity party but it really isn't ok not to keep the kids until standard school finishing time. A set earlier finishing time might be ok too but the sometime in a window is ridiculous

Just do the drop-off and let DC make their own way home.