Downstairs neighbour complaining about our noise, not sure what to do

[noisyneighbourproblem]

We've lived in our flat for around 6 months. We have one upstairs neighbour with three children and a downstairs neighbour with 2 children. We have 2 children, DD age 4 (with autism and PDA if relevant) and a toddler.

We introduced ourselves to neighbours when we moved in and apologized for any noise on moving day with building furniture etc. Around a month after moving in, the husband told us our toddlers walker was really noisy for them and upset their child with the noise so we apologized and got rid of his walker even though he loved it.

They regularly bang on our ceiling whenever the kids are playing. They bring it up every time they see us. We never play music, keep the TV at a reasonable volume, kids go to bed at a normal hour but they do run around in the day and evening and our toddler does push/pull things over occasionally as toddlers do. I regularly tell DD to stop running but she just doesn't listen, not sure if this is due to her PDA or just being 4. DD will often have meltdowns where she's hammering the floor too which I appreciate must be horrible to listen to and we do pick her up or move her to our bedroom when that happens. We bought thick play mats for the living room and their bedroom to try and reduce the noise.

They've just hammered on our floor again so I've text apologizing if DD was too loud when she was playing with my DH (she was jumping on him) and they've responded saying it's really bad and all they ever hear is running and banging and dropping things all day long and that she doesn't let her children run around at home. (I think they're around 5 and 11)

I'm not sure what to do. I don't want to cause a bad relationship with them, our upstairs neighbour we can hear everything too so I appreciate how horrible it must be. I'm not sure what else to do and i am sympathetic, do I need to ban the children from any kind of running/jumping in their own home? What else can I do?

Why should HA pay to lay flooring because OP put laminate down?

she didn’t design the flat but she chose laminate - which is very inconsiderate in a flat

My sister rents through a housing association and she has a child with additional needs and for this reason they paid for her to get carpet throughout the house and secure fencing on the back garden at no extra cost to her. She's based in south Yorkshire, but it might be something to look into?

She didn’t. It was there when she moved in!

Can you talk with the HA about help to install acoustic matting and carpet?

I lived in a middle floor flat with neighbours below me and one neighbour above. Lower neighbours didn’t say anything for ages, then one day exploded at me saying they could always hear me walking around and were disturbed by it. I could believe this, as it was a big old house cheaply converted into flats. Was curious though, why I never heard the neighbour above me (and I was easily disturbed by noise) She told me she had laid carpet over the existing carpet because she didn’t want to disturb anyone. The dream neighbour! So I think carpet/good acoustic underlay is probably going to help, but work out what you can do realistically and then show the neighbours your boundaries- you have kids, some noise is reasonable.

I think it’s much easier to tolerate a neighbour noise problem if you feel that your needs are being considered, and some people may be happy to collaborate to improve things eg by contributing to the cost of carpets. Not sure in this case, as they go as far as banging on their ceilings!

So many selfish people here. When we moved into our flat it was quiet - well insulated and not much noise from upstairs at all.

Then some fucker bought the flat upstairs to let out, refloored it and, voila, we now have a revolving herd of deaf elephants who slam doors as standard.

Carpet or rugs, would help as would curtains. But, no, that would be too simple. Much easier to not give a shit about those around despite the stress it causes.

FFS, the OP has said the whole block of HA flats have the identical laminate, it was not her choice! There are people on here with no idea of the limitations on choice there are when taking a HA property. I'd be surprised if they were even allowed to carpet it.

The people downstairs didn't design it either. It is still not their responsibility to pay towards her carpets. Most people would have worked out having laminate throughout in an upstairs flat might cause problems like this. I think OP is more fortunate they haven't reported the hammering on the floor and, running everywhere and jumping on the floor to the antisocial behaviour department as noise nuisance because it's not normal every noise transference. It is excessive and people don't have to put up with it just because they live in a flat. Honestly all this 'people who live in a flat should expect it' from people who don't even live in flats really irritates me because it's just not true. People who live in flats have a right to quiet enjoyment of their homes too.

You're so right. They should stand like statues and never move all day. Until they need to get into bed....😂🤪

It depends on the area, there's a huge amount 2 and 3 bed HA houses in newbuild sites though due to the rules about a certain percentage being HA for approval.
It obviously may mean a longer wait, but if not prepared to wait they'll have to expect noise. The same as if buying a cheaper property by choosing a flat you expect noise.

I didn't put laminate down, the entire block has the same flooring and it was here when I moved in

I work in social housing complaints. Flats above another are generally not supposed to have laminate flooring in them. I wonder if you could raise this with the Housing Association to get some assistance in replacing the flooring. There's likely no obligation on it under the tenancy agreement, but it may consider doing so to avoid an escalating situation. It sounds like a really difficult situation for all. I hope you are able to work something out.

That's great advice

The neighbours are not arseholes. So many inconsiderate people on here that lack self awareness.

I lived in a ground floor flat for years. 3 different neighbours had usual normal housing noises. A woman, her boyfriend and her autistic child moved in and it was absolute hell.
the flat above had no carpet through out. The child would run and jump and slam toys on the floor. He would ride a scooter up and down until gone midnight. I begged and pleaded for them to put rugs down. I had a newborn baby and it was the middle of Covid so couldn't go out. It ended up with me being on antidepressants and postpartum depression with intrusive thoughts due to the noise and lack of sleep. It caused lights to fall own and pictures to smash on the floor. Nobody should put up with it. It can lead to insanity. The OP or HA needs to out carpets down. It's what any reasonable person would do, with people below. Noise on laminate is absolute torture. Unless you've lived it, you have no idea. The neighbours aren't arseholes. They're living a nightmare.

They do if you are homeless or in temporary accommodation and offered a 'direct let'. It really is take it or leave it, and the worst are impossible to swap.

In the end you have to live your life and if you are 100% satisfied that you are being as considerate as you can then it’s just tough and you need to fight fire with fire.

They are harassing you because they perceive you as meek and biddable.

I would just ignore from now on. If they confront you, tell them a) buy a detached house and move out or b) call the HA and c) fuck off.

It's usually a condition of a social housing tenancy that tenants do not have laminate flooring precisely because of this issue. (edited because the page updated on mobile now).

Seems strange that they apparently put it in themselves.

But OP clearly states she has made efforts to reduce the noise, which is not the same as what you are describing and your projecting. Maybe OP is a nightmare. But there are people who would object to any noise at all, and these people sound like those.

It's normal for council and Housing Association homes to have hard flooring as the base layer - precisely because some tenants won't be able to budget for immediate carpeting and need something underfoot, my 70s flat has tiled floors. The expectation is you carpet straight over the top of it, which ruins the tiles but I like my downstairs neighbours.

Until recently I had carpet tiles which I bought secondhand - good quality with three layers, cost about £150 for a one bedroom flat from a commercial flooring supplier. Much better than nothing and it allowed me to save for the carpet and underlay I really wanted.

OP has put tumble mats down and is actively asking what she can do to help. Most people won't immediately have 1k to put carpet down. She is not at all inconsiderate.

Banging on your ceiling when you KNOW the child has PDA and autism, and rugs have been put down, IS inconsiderate. It causes distress deliberately - she has OP's number and could send a text.

Your kids, whatever their problems, should not become a problem to others. Underlay and carpet will help. 🤷‍♀️

My flat had bare concrete floors, other than a sheet of lino in the kitchen and bathroom (both of which were directly above the kitchen and bathrooms on lower levels). It was still a condition of the tenancy that I didn't lay hard flooring.

Next time they complain ask them if they would like to contribute to underlay and carpets. It's them who have the problem and if it is intolerable perhaps they should get their cash out. I suspect it's the last thing you can afford to pay for.

Well you need carpet ideally. If your kids need to let off steam by jumping about could you think about investing in a rebounder for the whole family to use? They're really good for exercise. You can get some good bungee ones off amazon for about 70 quid. obviously put it on top of a thick rug and preferably in a room where they are less likely to be annoyed below. Tell the kids the only thing they can jump on is that. The bungee ones are pretty quiet

The OP states clearly herself she had laminate through out. Laminate is hell for the people below.. so I'm not projecting, I'm speaking from experience.