Downstairs neighbour complaining about our noise, not sure what to do

[noisyneighbourproblem]

We've lived in our flat for around 6 months. We have one upstairs neighbour with three children and a downstairs neighbour with 2 children. We have 2 children, DD age 4 (with autism and PDA if relevant) and a toddler.

We introduced ourselves to neighbours when we moved in and apologized for any noise on moving day with building furniture etc. Around a month after moving in, the husband told us our toddlers walker was really noisy for them and upset their child with the noise so we apologized and got rid of his walker even though he loved it.

They regularly bang on our ceiling whenever the kids are playing. They bring it up every time they see us. We never play music, keep the TV at a reasonable volume, kids go to bed at a normal hour but they do run around in the day and evening and our toddler does push/pull things over occasionally as toddlers do. I regularly tell DD to stop running but she just doesn't listen, not sure if this is due to her PDA or just being 4. DD will often have meltdowns where she's hammering the floor too which I appreciate must be horrible to listen to and we do pick her up or move her to our bedroom when that happens. We bought thick play mats for the living room and their bedroom to try and reduce the noise.

They've just hammered on our floor again so I've text apologizing if DD was too loud when she was playing with my DH (she was jumping on him) and they've responded saying it's really bad and all they ever hear is running and banging and dropping things all day long and that she doesn't let her children run around at home. (I think they're around 5 and 11)

I'm not sure what to do. I don't want to cause a bad relationship with them, our upstairs neighbour we can hear everything too so I appreciate how horrible it must be. I'm not sure what else to do and i am sympathetic, do I need to ban the children from any kind of running/jumping in their own home? What else can I do?

I live in a converted bank and since the second we moved in our downstairs neighbour has moaned … noise from the furniture , noise from my partners work boots , noise from the kitchen drawer , the washing machine , my sons speaker . I don’t even have kids my son is 20 and doesn’t live here . He moans if something falls off the cuddle chair foot stool .

he has literally made life a living hell for the whole block he even knows who’s foot prints are on the stairs .

Then I got a dog and it all kicked off , he came banging the door and I absolutely saw red and went mad at him and called him a miserable #### and he needs to get a fucking life 😳
He went running to the landlord who basically had had enough of him aswell so he called me into his office and agreed it was ok for me to keep my dog as long as I considered the neighbours …

Well since this day I have only had him moaning ONCE about the noise . That was my sons speaker and I just said it’s the same volume as the tv , I can’t do anything about the fact the building is old my son needs to be able to listen to his music and I just walked off and he slammed his door .

I’ve realised I’ve spent years walking on egg shells . Only doing washing at certain times of the day . Any noise I’ve apologised and made him think we are actually the problem …
well no more !!! I don’t entertain him anymore and it’s been the best thing I’ve ever done . He doesn’t moan anymore coz he’s not getting attention .

You should try this . Stop apologising for living your lives . Your children are children . If they don’t like it then they can move and get somewhere more suited for them .

Yes the flat came with this flooring and every flat in the block has the same floor

Yanbu. If people don't want to heat noise from people above or below them, they shouldn't be living in a bloody flat.

Around 700 probably including labour costs. Possibly slightly cheaper. You'll want to find an independent carpet place rather than somewhere like carpetright for it to be cheaper, get a mid range/reasonably thick underlay and a cheaper carpet option.

Realistically them banging on the ceiling is more likely to be a valid complaint. Children are exempt from noise complaints, adults hitting walls or ceilings aren't exempt.

The carpet can be cheap. The underlay needs to be the best you can afford. That's the bit that does the acoustic work.

Do you hear the three upstairs?

let’s start with that.

how much do you hear?

because at this point, it seems like you are being very careful and quiet. And they are struggling with normal things.

I remember chatting to a mum once, she said the neighbour had complained about her running a washing machine overnight, which her children slept through.

everyone had a different tolerance for these things, but what you describe sounds absolutely reasonable. So be careful before you start spending a fortune on carpet which may not work.

Click on each of these and it will tell you how many decibels it will reduce the sound by. And go for the best if you can. Other carpet shops will sell the same brands

https://www.simplyunderlay.co.uk/shop/acoustic-underlay/

Agree and also you could get it even cheaper if you buy end of roll carpet or remnants. Don't skimp out on underlay though.

I've lived in a flat with lovely quiet upstairs neighbours and it was still awful to hear absolutely everything with floorboards. Carpet all the way!

Do you know if your upstairs neighbours have carpet?

We have it in our lease stating floors must be carpetted - we went for a very expensive thick underlay - and cheaper carpet - makes a difference

I have wooden flooring in my house, upstairs and down. You hear every thing. My dog, sounds like he's tap dancing! No complaints from neighbours, it's just what I've picked up on. Also, any other kind of noise seems to reverbrate and travel so it doesn't even need to be running/jumping/dropping things.
I've brought large rugs for upstairs, which has helped a lot. Couldn't afford to carpet everywhere!

Put down some carpets or rugs.

Laminate is notoriously terrible for sound and you have to expect some in flats particularly those that house families.

I would text back...

"I am very sorry sound is distributing you however we have and are doing everything we can to minimise this for you. We have got rid of the walker, we have put down rugs, we are on the wait list for occupational therapy to better manage our daughters autism, and are saving up to replace the laminate flooring with carpet if the HA allows. We hope this is enough. If it isn't please speak to the housing association directly to see what they may be able to do. Meanwhile please refrain from banging on your ceiling / our floor as it is causing distress to our child and making the situation much worse"

Then if they complain or bang again report to your HA for harassment

Children are not exempt from noise complaints. The council take all complaints seriously. They look at the time of the noise and how loud it is. OP knows her DC bangs on the floor having a melt down yet she doesn't even put thick underlay and carpet down. A DC banging on laminate would be so loud.

You are a normal family living a normal live and the council would not consider what you are doing as unacceptable. People who buy ground floor flats need to accept there will be noise. Tell them you have done all you can and are prepared to do to
minimise the noise and suggest they invest in some sound proofing or ear plugs. Just carry on as you are .

And people who live in non-ground floor flats need to accept that they need carpets and really good underlay.

I have laminate upstairs and it's ridiculously noisy, i wouldn't stop your children playing, but if you can fit ypur own carpets they can be cheap

Are they housing association too? Would they consider a swap?

In some areas you can get pay weekly carpets

Considering they're living in a HA flat with 2 young children they may not have the money to immediately get carpet. Lots of people live pay check to pay check or even need food banks. We don't know her situation.
She said she moves her DD when she's having a meltdown. Have you ever tried to "stop" an autistic meltdown? It's not even in the child's control nevermind the parents. Its not like it's a tantrumming toddler where you can just distract them.

I can’t believe the HA put laminate in. Are you sure it’s not cushioned vinyl?

Laminate Is a big no in flats. My HA state this.

Have a chat with your Housing officer. They can talk to downstairs and manage their expectations.

If they continue to complain about normal noise it could be seen as harassing.

The trouble is that laminate is absolutely not appropriate.

My elderly aunt is in a ground floor flats, for around the first 15 years she lived there upstairs had carpet (before the fashion for laminate came in). You couldn’t hear a thing from upstairs.

Once the laminate floor came in, no matter that they don’t wear shoes in the house, you can hear the thumping and thudding all the time. It’s awful, but nothing has ever been done, she just has to put up with it. That’s been for around 15 further years.

Of course the HA are at fault here - but the people who are absolutely not at fault are the people downstairs.

I live in a house, regularly hear my neighbours children. And just get on with it - kids are kids, they dont come with a mute button. Your neighbours are arseholes.

You need thick carpet and insulate it more. Wheeled walkers and toys sound awful downstairs. You do have a duty to minimise noise for your neighbours.

I’m in a HA flat and everyone above ground floor has to have carpet. Is there any way you can afford to get carpet down. Maybe depending on circumstances you could get a grant or help from council to help with the cost.

in my HA the noise you are producing would be classed as flat living and no action would be taken. The hammering on the floor during meltdowns definitely needs some management such as a squishy vinyl mat or other noise absorbing material to dampen the sound. If you’ve not spoken with your housing officer I’d maybe do that. Explain the situation and what you are doing to consider your neighbours. All young children make some noise when they play. As long as it’s not constant screaming/yelling, your neighbours need help managing the realities of living near children. As it stands it sounds like only if your DC speak in whispers and spend the day reading or drawing, they’re going to challenge you. Which is unreasonable