Downstairs neighbour complaining about our noise, not sure what to do

[noisyneighbourproblem]

We've lived in our flat for around 6 months. We have one upstairs neighbour with three children and a downstairs neighbour with 2 children. We have 2 children, DD age 4 (with autism and PDA if relevant) and a toddler.

We introduced ourselves to neighbours when we moved in and apologized for any noise on moving day with building furniture etc. Around a month after moving in, the husband told us our toddlers walker was really noisy for them and upset their child with the noise so we apologized and got rid of his walker even though he loved it.

They regularly bang on our ceiling whenever the kids are playing. They bring it up every time they see us. We never play music, keep the TV at a reasonable volume, kids go to bed at a normal hour but they do run around in the day and evening and our toddler does push/pull things over occasionally as toddlers do. I regularly tell DD to stop running but she just doesn't listen, not sure if this is due to her PDA or just being 4. DD will often have meltdowns where she's hammering the floor too which I appreciate must be horrible to listen to and we do pick her up or move her to our bedroom when that happens. We bought thick play mats for the living room and their bedroom to try and reduce the noise.

They've just hammered on our floor again so I've text apologizing if DD was too loud when she was playing with my DH (she was jumping on him) and they've responded saying it's really bad and all they ever hear is running and banging and dropping things all day long and that she doesn't let her children run around at home. (I think they're around 5 and 11)

I'm not sure what to do. I don't want to cause a bad relationship with them, our upstairs neighbour we can hear everything too so I appreciate how horrible it must be. I'm not sure what else to do and i am sympathetic, do I need to ban the children from any kind of running/jumping in their own home? What else can I do?

How many properties are available that aren't flats do you think?!

I work for a HA and we get this a lot.
unfortunately this noise comes with living in a flat and I imagine your HA with have the same stance on it if you’re noise isn’t at unreasonable times.

I would also check with your HA that your floor has the correct insulation as if not this can cause excess noise from properties

Bloody hell, I can’t believe anyone would be inconsiderate enough to lay laminate flooring in a flat. You need to speak to your landlord and get them to lay carpet. No wonder your neighbours hear everything.

Is it a rented flat? Ask your landlord for carpet

Because it was that or be homeless!!!! Our living situation was awful before And I didn't know she was autistic when we moved

We're at the park at least 3-4 times a week, nursery 2 days a week, soft play/trampoline park/swimming once or twice a week plus we go out to a nearby field to play football a couple of evenings a week and she takes her scooter out a lot.

Because autistic children don’t qualify you for a detached house in the countryside with no neighbours, obviously.

I'm not sure I'm going to be able to afford to put carpet down for at least two months but will look into grants/the council

They don't shout or screech or anything it's just the footsteps when they run around

Could you look at rugs as a stop gap? Then I'd tell the neighbours the things you've done eg move child when tantrums, rugs, mats etc and say you've done your best but you can't actually stop the kids walking around

Gosh nobody has suggested that what a good idea 😭

Op I've recently had carpet fitted - all bought online and cheaper than the shops. Found a really good carpet fitter who charged me £160 to fit for 3 double bedrooms. Cost for the 3 rooms inc thick underlay and wool carpet was £1.2k so £400 a room. Shop around is my advice but it will be worth it to be able to relax and you can just get one room
done at a time.

Buy some rugs. If it’s HA your not going anywhere so just get on with it.

Toddler and Tumble rugs are more expensive than that by the sound of things.

I guess you could propose splitting the cost of the carpets with them.

No wonder your neighbours are struggling. My sister used to live in an old house that had been converted into flats. One of the upstairs neighbours took all the carpets out and replaced them with laminate.

The noise was awful.

Putting carpets down will improve relations between you and your downstairs neighbours no end.

They do. But running , jumping and hammering on the floor is not normal every day noise levels. It is excessive and bound to cause problems. I expect to hear noise from my neighbour upstairs but what I don't expect to hear a grown man upstairs counting down 3-2-1! and encouraging his children to jump off the furniture banging and crashing on the downstairs neighbours ceiling for hours at a time when there is a huge park right outside. It really annoys me when people who don't even live in this situation think that people who do should just expect to have to put up with any level of noise even when it is excessive and antisocial. They don't and there are laws in place to prevent it.

Why on earth should the neighbours have to pay towards her carpets? She's upstairs with laminate floors. Most landlords don't allow laminate upstairs precisely because of this issue.

If the flats are the same size, could you think about suggesting a swap so your disabled child is on the ground floor. Otherwise, thick underlay and carpets apart from the bathroom and kitchen.

Ask your housing association to sort out underlay and carpeting. Flats shouldn’t have hard floors unless they have very good sound proofing beneath them.

Write to your neighbours and tell them you are doing that - you may have to pay yourself, but you want to buy yourself time so you can get a good price. I’d also note in the letter that some noise when living in a flat is to be expected, as people can have unrealistic expectations.

I’d also talk to citizens advice or shelter to find out if you can get your housing association to pay for it - I’d hope at least part of it.

Expecting children never to run around is unrealistic but obviously it shouldn’t be a lot of before a reasonable hour in the morning.

It's difficult but sounds like the noise level from your flat is making life hard for your neighbours. Carpets sound like a good idea.

I live in a ground floor flat, I can hear when the kids upstairs are running about because they have laminate flooring(I used to hear his ex's dog). Doesn't bother me as it's not all the time. The worst thing is the washing machine which makes my whole flat rattle/shake (I fear my glasses are going to smash at some point).

Upper flats should not have laminate flooring as far as I'm aware, it used to be written in the lease/tenancy agreement. New Builds don't seem to have the same requirements.

Because they want it to be quieter as soon as possible.

The OP didn’t design her flat like this - it’s an HA rental.

Her first port of call is to see if the HA will pay for it.

If they won’t, given her budget is very limited (or she wouldn’t be renting an HA flat) her second is to give her neighbours a timetable by which time she’ll improve the flooring - and she can also say that if they are happy to contribute it will get done X times quicker.

This is the considerate thing to do, given the HA put the flooring in their view may be that outside nighttime hours the noise the OP describes is just normal family life - so her downstairs neighbours are fortunate the OP is working towards a solution.

Can you lay carpets?

This will be the issue - laminate is so noisy even in the same room. Being underneath it will be awful. Why on earth did you put laminate down?