What do you wish people would stop romanticizing, because you’ve lived the reality of it?

[HazelMaker]

The 1990s

Err lack of aircon, not being able to sleep. It’s awful as this country is not designed for hot weather. Every time there’s a heatwave I realise how awful it is when I’m sitting with my feet in a bucket of cold water because my house feels like an oven. If you do have aircon and a pool etc, I’m sure it’s great.

Women needing to “Have it all” to feel fulfilled or valued. It’s almost fucking impossible.

Working outside

Travel MLMs

That’s kind of the point though. I have amazing memories of the 80s personally: university, living in a fab shared house in London, getting my career off the ground, travelling all over, getting married right at the end of it. But let’s not romanticise the backdrop to all that: Thatcher, strikes, riots, recessions, Yorkshire Ripper, King’s Cross, Bradford, Zeebrugge, Marchioness. No health and safety, victim blaming as standard, the ignorance and fear around AIDS.

For you yes, clearly not for the poster. Everyone leads incredibly different lives and like another PP points out, shoes how unique us humans are.

I for one also find it too much to juggle the dynamics of a friendship group whilst also ensuring I spend time with my children, husband and immediate family.

Living in Hampstead.

It’s really hilly, really windy, there’s nowhere decent to park, getting around by car is hellish, getting around on foot is hellish, there are so many bloody 4x4s which don’t suit the roads, so many bloody annoying people, the whole selective school scene is absurd, trying to do the school run is absurd, a lot of the houses aren’t even that nice and are not well-suited to modern life.

Yes this. That flight and the jet lag alone are hell. Even worse is The Seychelles where you can’t even fly direct anymore.

@cafenoirbiscuit Not just you! I hate slopping around in a dressing gown, being surrounded by mostly women and listening to meaningless 'music'. Pointless pampering.

Disabilities in general(the current "superpower" narrative) and also being diagnosed in itself, as it's not a relief for everyone, it could also come as a shock and with a heavy grieving process.

Motherhood.

You are so right - and people genuinely believe it's what life as a cleric is like!

And larger families. Some are fine and very happy, but I do think there's romantization going on, the idea of "you'll always have fun, and there's so many people to have your back", which isn't necessarily the case.

Exactly!

The baby/toddler years. Exhausting, stressful, zero social life, physically painful unless you’ve had a perfect birth and feeding journey. Yes there’s the odd sweet moment but overall I can’t wait to get out of it.

This, a thousand times. It's not called 'the puppy blues' for nothing!

I do have air con but don't use it often, and I've only had it for the past three years, I don't have a pool, and I suspect the summers in NZ are longer and hotter overall than in the UK.

Gardening …. I keep waiting for my passion to kick in but I hate it… I think city living with a balcony life is for me

Same here. We have had utter hell with both kids. Both of mine were/are instensely high needs. No actual SN but just exhaustingly clingy. Once my older one turned 4 actually began to enjoy life again. I have an almost 3yo and I’m counting down too.
A friend has 4 kids but all of them slept through the night at just a few month old, had no feeding issue, will eat anything you give them, play independently very well.

Having a garden: it's just more work!

Vinyl records. I was born in 53, so teenage years were spent at the record shop buying the latest single, and listening to them first in a little booth. Then, first purchase with wages from first job, an LP. Ended up with a cabinet full. They looked good, smelled good, and at the time, sounded good. But, they were very easily damaged, you had to be very careful placing the needle to listen to a particular track, you had to constantly clean them, with expensive 'anti static' liquid, which I am convinced was just water in a fancy bottle. I enjoyed them at the time, but would I go back to all that palaver? My ears no longer hear in hi fidelity, and I couldn't be bothered with the faff. Give me Mp3s and streaming anyway. Instant music, almost any song available, cheap and easy.

Glad you had a good experience 👰

@Lincslady53 Yes! And when you'd spent your hard earned money and took the LP home, you'd be on tenterhooks every time you played it, hoping it wouldn't jump. (One piece of classical music is permanently marred for me because the record always jumped at a certain place.)

I just reread it and it looks like I was being sarcastic. No, I found your post really funny.

Im not sure NZ is as humid as the UK, which contributes massively to the heat feeling unbearable. If you’ve spent a summer in the UK where there has been a heatwave (30 degrees plus for an extended period) you’d understand- social media and print media is full of people saying how unbearable it is. It’s not me being a snowflake either - I spent time in a country where temperatures hit 40 degrees and it wasn’t as bad as a UK heatwave. Also used to live somewhere where winters were minus 20 and again not as bad as some UK winters. It’s the damp that does it.