What do you wish people would stop romanticizing, because you’ve lived the reality of it?

[HazelMaker]

The 1990s

May I modify that?

always shit and always over-priced aka an absolute rip off,

and an impoverished dining experience when you're told you have to sling your hook after 90 minutes (what a bloody cheek). It really is a sign of the times, CoL and all that, but it dissuades us from eating out more than twice a year!

Life before the Internet.
Yes, of course it has its dangers and disadvantages but it makes life so much easier in many ways. I wouldn't want to go back to the times when I had to book an afternoon off work I'd if needed to do a bank transaction, stand in a massive queue at the post office to tax my car or wait for weeks for delivery of a paper I needed from a journal that the hospital library didn't stock. The instant access to information these days is incredible. I think people who like to wax lyrical about the good old days have forgotten that.

this

@Thepeopleversusworki think you are generalising unhelpful and negatively at the same time the romatising around weddings and forever after coukd go in the bin

it’s like I agree with the what’s but not the whys

Same. I bloody love it. I’m busy bit every single thing is something I chose to do. I don’t have to rush in the morning. I can please myself.

I don't think that's romanticising. [spoiler alert] I can imagine there are people who look at the ending of Brief Encounter, say, and think 'how romantic' about Celia Johnson deciding to stay with her husband for the sake of the children rather than break up the home and go off with Trevor Howard. I don't, and I'd imagine a large percentage of the audience also wonder how well that would have turned out for anyone concerned. There's no avoiding the fact that an unhappy marriage is miserable for all concerned whether the couple stay together or split up, but at least if they split up one or both of them might eventually be happy again.

Being unable to work due to disabling chronic illness.
' It must be lovely to be home all day '
No it really f*ing isn't.

Nursing/working in healthcare.

That’s not people romanticising things though. It’s you not enjoying/being suited to something.

Why? Are you identical?

This is so true. If I could afford it I’d live separately to DH but you’re right, it’s good for stability for kids and maximising financial security.
Im currently in the process of turning our spare room into my room. It’s got all my art materials, a bed, a lounge chair and my records. It’s even got a lock on the door!
Closest thing to having my own place.

Also:
Camping - either sweaty and smelly or freezing cold, no toilets, bugs, dirt, horrible sleeping arrangements and crap food
Festivals - can only be enjoyed if pissed/ on drugs. Otherwise awful
Big families - nightmare, someone is always unhappy, hard to organise/ always someone's birthday/ anniversary/ marriage/ funeral, takes all your time to keep up with.
Having a lot of friends - same issue, so much time and effort to keep up with all of them, someone always falls out, politics and moods...

Academia is full of massively over-inflated egos, completely out of touch with the real world.

how dare they make a judgement on you, who are they anyway. It's people like them who stifle talent and individuality and rob society of people who can really add value in their own unique way.

Sweaty underboobs

A lot of these things aren't romanticised though...

I don’t recognise any of that. More expensive than home? Sure. But rip off? Nope. And I’ve not been told a time limit anywhere since the end of covid restrictions.

Being a SAHM.
Being a FT working mother
Being a part time working mother

All are difficult with huge sacrifices and unique stresses. All come with a sense of regret or guilt (for those prone to regret or guilt!) and all can carry an element of judgement.

Baby in nicu/children in hospital. Although to be fair I thought it would be easy before it happened to me.

Haha tell me you have issues without telling me you have issues!

(BTW, despite being taught at a Welsh school, my spelling and grammar in English is better than yours. Hmm.)

Thats a very strange one! Who romanticises or thinks this would be easy?

I can only speak for myself and by definition my opinion is going to be different from someone else’s but I have talked to many women who feel the same as me about marriage so I dont think I am completely alone: that there’s this overwhelming feeling of claustrophobia and being trapped, even if the relationship itself is OK.

Just this sense of never knowing who you really are and what you actually want outside of “the family”.

I guess this suits some very consensual people because they just go along with the needs of the herd and find it comfortable. I found it unbearable.

but they are bloody hard work

This definitely. The "fighter" shit got me down when my husband was dying and the "lost the battle" and treating cancer as a sentient being still rouse ungovernable rage in me. May you survive for many more years OP.

Um.., who romanticises that? 😆
I feel like some people don't understand the thread!

Agree,
At best they might make you look a few years younger but In the grand scheme of things that’s nothing
I’m unlikely to stop anytime soon though, the battle will continue😂