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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Sending love to trans people on MN and beyond

825 replies

cassandre · 17/04/2025 20:58

This isn't an AIBU. I just wanted to send love to trans people, in the UK especially, and to other members of the LGBTQIA+ community.

This hasn't been the easiest week for trans people, but there are a lot of us out there who accept you for who you are. We have your backs and we believe that eventually, tolerance and compassion will win.💖💖💖

Love from a longtime MNer and trans-inclusive feminist.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
12
TheKeatingFive · 18/04/2025 17:44

AlizeeEasy · 18/04/2025 17:43

I’m not. However I do acknowledge your point about it being sex based in the equalities act and would welcome an addition for gender based rights as well. Probably too much to hope for right now in todays political climate, but maybe one day

Why not? Don't you think women should have the right to single sex provision. Like in rape crisis centres? Prisons? You don't think they have the right to male free spaces?

Nameychangington · 18/04/2025 17:46

AlizeeEasy · 18/04/2025 17:43

I’m not. However I do acknowledge your point about it being sex based in the equalities act and would welcome an addition for gender based rights as well. Probably too much to hope for right now in todays political climate, but maybe one day

Have you read the judgement? No one's rights have been changed. Everyone who was protected under the Equality Act still is. What 'addition for gender based rights' do you think isn't there?

MereNoelle · 18/04/2025 17:47

AlizeeEasy · 18/04/2025 17:43

I’m not. However I do acknowledge your point about it being sex based in the equalities act and would welcome an addition for gender based rights as well. Probably too much to hope for right now in todays political climate, but maybe one day

So you don’t think that women (biological sex) should have the right to single sex spaces?

Annascaul · 18/04/2025 17:47

AlizeeEasy · 18/04/2025 17:43

I’m not. However I do acknowledge your point about it being sex based in the equalities act and would welcome an addition for gender based rights as well. Probably too much to hope for right now in todays political climate, but maybe one day

You’d have to find someone capable of defining gender first.
How would you define it, and why is it more important than sex?

JandamiHash · 18/04/2025 17:47

Bogginsthe3rd · 18/04/2025 15:27

But then PP provided evidence which has been peer reviewed and shows that what she said was not horse shit. It was hot steaming scientific fact.

What is hot steaming scientific fact exactly?

Helleofabore · 18/04/2025 17:50

JandamiHash · 18/04/2025 17:47

What is hot steaming scientific fact exactly?

There is a difference in published and peer reviewed strength and implied on this thread strength of the conclusion happening here.

Sure. A study can be peer reviewed. Doesn’t mean that the conclusions have not been misrepresented on MN.

AlizeeEasy · 18/04/2025 17:50

TheKeatingFive · 18/04/2025 17:44

Why not? Don't you think women should have the right to single sex provision. Like in rape crisis centres? Prisons? You don't think they have the right to male free spaces?

If a trans woman is in a rape crisis, it’s because she’s been raped and needs support too. I’m deeply concerned about trans women (especially post op) being put in male prisons. Ultimately these places need to be safe for everyone, I don’t think of trans women being the big bad danger that others appear to think

poetryandwine · 18/04/2025 17:50

cassandre · 18/04/2025 17:28

😢Alas, I'm sure you're right.

Again, this whole thread is an illustration of why MN (generally speaking) is not a welcoming place for trans people.

To me, the real feminism on MN happens in places like the Relationships threads, where women are giving one another real-life support. In the FWR threads, not so much. Because there only one form of feminism seems to be accepted. And if you disagree with the majority view, you're labelled anti-feminist.

It's a shame.

@poetryandwine I appreciate your scientific citations.

When I say that I want tolerance, I mean it. I see women on MN pouring so much energy into attacking other women who disagree with them. And even though trans-inclusivity is an absolutely central tenet of feminism for me, I don't see it as helpful to belittle other feminists, regardless of how much I disagree with their views.

Instead of directing hate speech at each other, we could all be acting as allies to fight the toxic Andrew Tate/Trump-style patriarchy that is currently threatening our world.

A thousand hearts, OP

WhereIsMyJumper · 18/04/2025 17:50

Felinnefine · 17/04/2025 21:13

Be kind - accept that women shouldn’t have penises in their safe spaces, changing rooms, toilets, sports, prisons, hospital wards, breast feeding classes etc etc etc.

Wow!! I’ve never seen those stats before! Thats really shocking!

Helleofabore · 18/04/2025 17:52

AlizeeEasy · 18/04/2025 17:50

If a trans woman is in a rape crisis, it’s because she’s been raped and needs support too. I’m deeply concerned about trans women (especially post op) being put in male prisons. Ultimately these places need to be safe for everyone, I don’t think of trans women being the big bad danger that others appear to think

I agree that male people who are vulnerable need to be protected in prisons in the Uk. Luckily, we have vulnerable prisoner sections. They can go into the male section into a vulnerable prisoner section.

Did you know a third space was built and ready to go for those male people, and it was rejected by trans activists?

TheKeatingFive · 18/04/2025 17:52

AlizeeEasy · 18/04/2025 17:50

If a trans woman is in a rape crisis, it’s because she’s been raped and needs support too. I’m deeply concerned about trans women (especially post op) being put in male prisons. Ultimately these places need to be safe for everyone, I don’t think of trans women being the big bad danger that others appear to think

They can have their own rape crisis centres.

So you don't see any issues with women who've been raped by men sharing centres and therapy sessions with men?

You don't see any problem with women being locked up in a cell with a man?

AlizeeEasy · 18/04/2025 17:53

MereNoelle · 18/04/2025 17:47

So you don’t think that women (biological sex) should have the right to single sex spaces?

What do you think should happen with trans men? They always seem left out of the argument, have you seen pictures of what some trans men look like? Some are big burly bearded blokes. If you force trans women out of female spaces then you force trans men into them

TheKeatingFive · 18/04/2025 17:53

AlizeeEasy · 18/04/2025 17:50

If a trans woman is in a rape crisis, it’s because she’s been raped and needs support too. I’m deeply concerned about trans women (especially post op) being put in male prisons. Ultimately these places need to be safe for everyone, I don’t think of trans women being the big bad danger that others appear to think

Why all the concern for men here and none for women being incarcerated with men?

Totallymessed · 18/04/2025 17:54

AlizeeEasy · 18/04/2025 17:50

If a trans woman is in a rape crisis, it’s because she’s been raped and needs support too. I’m deeply concerned about trans women (especially post op) being put in male prisons. Ultimately these places need to be safe for everyone, I don’t think of trans women being the big bad danger that others appear to think

Unfortunately, the statistics show that transwomen commit crime at the same rates as other men. And they are actually more likely to be convicted of sex offences than other men.

AlizeeEasy · 18/04/2025 17:55

TheKeatingFive · 18/04/2025 17:52

They can have their own rape crisis centres.

So you don't see any issues with women who've been raped by men sharing centres and therapy sessions with men?

You don't see any problem with women being locked up in a cell with a man?

Are you comfortable with the idea of a trans man in a cell with a woman? Some are big burly bearded blokes, I’m more uncomfortable with that idea really

TheKeatingFive · 18/04/2025 17:56

AlizeeEasy · 18/04/2025 17:55

Are you comfortable with the idea of a trans man in a cell with a woman? Some are big burly bearded blokes, I’m more uncomfortable with that idea really

Sure. They're women after all.

Annascaul · 18/04/2025 17:56

AlizeeEasy · 18/04/2025 17:55

Are you comfortable with the idea of a trans man in a cell with a woman? Some are big burly bearded blokes, I’m more uncomfortable with that idea really

They’re women.

Nameychangington · 18/04/2025 17:56

AlizeeEasy · 18/04/2025 17:55

Are you comfortable with the idea of a trans man in a cell with a woman? Some are big burly bearded blokes, I’m more uncomfortable with that idea really

They're not big burly bearded blokes, they're women. Why do you think the UK prison service never put transmen in mens prisons?

TheKeatingFive · 18/04/2025 17:57

AlizeeEasy · 18/04/2025 17:55

Are you comfortable with the idea of a trans man in a cell with a woman? Some are big burly bearded blokes, I’m more uncomfortable with that idea really

But can't you answer my question about men locked up with women? Is that fair to these women?

AlizeeEasy · 18/04/2025 17:58

TheKeatingFive · 18/04/2025 17:57

But can't you answer my question about men locked up with women? Is that fair to these women?

I Think trans women are women, so sure they are women after all. But in reality, if it is an issue then it could be cells dedicated to trans women

Lostcat · 18/04/2025 17:59

cassandre · 17/04/2025 20:58

This isn't an AIBU. I just wanted to send love to trans people, in the UK especially, and to other members of the LGBTQIA+ community.

This hasn't been the easiest week for trans people, but there are a lot of us out there who accept you for who you are. We have your backs and we believe that eventually, tolerance and compassion will win.💖💖💖

Love from a longtime MNer and trans-inclusive feminist.

Sorry your thread has been taken over by the usual OP xxx

Thank you for the OP nonetheless. you speak for so many of us. although we are always drowned out by the same handful of inexhaustible voices we are still here.

❤️

TheKeatingFive · 18/04/2025 18:00

AlizeeEasy · 18/04/2025 17:58

I Think trans women are women, so sure they are women after all. But in reality, if it is an issue then it could be cells dedicated to trans women

But we just discussed that this ruling is about people's sex based rights and you agreed that people can't change sex. So then in this framework transwomen are not women, they are men. Yes?

Nameychangington · 18/04/2025 18:00

AlizeeEasy · 18/04/2025 17:58

I Think trans women are women, so sure they are women after all. But in reality, if it is an issue then it could be cells dedicated to trans women

  1. In what way are transwomen women?
  1. As was posted just upthread, the prison service created a separate wing for transwomen prisoners and they rejected it. Because it was never about safety, it was always about access to women.
AlizeeEasy · 18/04/2025 18:01

TheKeatingFive · 18/04/2025 18:00

But we just discussed that this ruling is about people's sex based rights and you agreed that people can't change sex. So then in this framework transwomen are not women, they are men. Yes?

I said that I think they are women. I’m not subject to court rulings, I’m talking about my ideal world. I want gender included, so that’s how I would handle it

TheKeatingFive · 18/04/2025 18:03

AlizeeEasy · 18/04/2025 18:01

I said that I think they are women. I’m not subject to court rulings, I’m talking about my ideal world. I want gender included, so that’s how I would handle it

So you don't believe women should have any sex based rights, correct?

That any man who wants should have access to their prison cells and their rape crisis counselling?