To speak to my neighbour's about her disabled child?

[RootsBeforeTheFruits]

OK I've named changed....

I've recently moved house and have been at the new house about 9 months, for the first few months next door was empty and being renovated. Once it finished it was quickly rented out to my current neighbour's. She's a nice enough woman we have a gab in passing, she had a son with additional needs.

Here's the problem ....it's a terraced style house and he frequently bangs shit out of the walls, in the day I don't mind as much it's the day, but he bangs well into the night i don't mean the odd tapping it's actually shaking our walls. It frequently wakes my children up in the night and they've been extra tired in school.

Do I speak to her about it, i explain to the children that he has additional needs and more than likely can't help this behavior, I really don't know what to do

Why couldn’t an autistic person be sedated just like any other person being sedated during a meltdown or episode? We have calming drugs for a reason. It would seem a kindness.

Well stop trying to be offensive about disabled children then
And nobody wants violent ,uncontrolled noise in their homes least of parents of disabled childen.

"Banging on party walls till they tremble sounds pretty damned violent to me."

Banging on walls is usually a sensory need. It has nothing to do with hurting anyone else.

Maybe the ableist community could live in a special, purpose built retirement-type village, from where they can demand easy solutions to difficult problems (a la Trump), and enjoy a set of stocks on the village green for any ND folk foolish enough to stray over the border? In an ideal world, obviously. 🙄

It's not abelist to acknowledge and support OPs rights.

The cause is irrelevant.
The OP is posting.
She is the one we are advising

"Why couldn’t an autistic person be sedated just like any other person being sedated during a meltdown or episode? "

It is risky especially when it is someone is unable to communicate.

Again, because it is 2025 and we don't do that to children any more. Especially just to keep the neighbours happy.

Who would sedate the child?
What about side effects?
The cost?
The fact that you simply can't just continue to sedate a human being for the rest of their lives?

I do sympathetise, it must be incredibly difficult. I don't think there's an easy answer for this, if the boy is non verbal there's probably nothing his mum can do to stop it. Other posters won't understand this unless they parent a child at the same Severity. You can address it with her, but please try to be sympathetic- she's already probably worried about what you're thinking. Unfortunately not all parents with children with severe learning difficulties can afford detached properties, (and the council certainly won't house them in any) so inevitably these situations will happen - you won't be the only one. It might be best to move house.

I don't agree with sedating children but it is insane to characterise OP's scenario as a merely unhappy neighbour. She and her family are being deprived of essential sleep for hours on end every night. It's not some little issue like the fence being broken or the neighbour's garden looking a bit untidy. She is being deprived of a basic human need!

No.
OPdoes not need to go to any expense in sorting this out.
It is purely the responsibility of those causing the issue

My point, which you agree with, is that it isn't reason enough to start sedating disabled children.

🙄

🙄🙄🙄 No it hasn't changed the situatuon. However your advice of acting with kindness was the most pointless advice ever seeing as the OP didn't say anything to suggest that she was going to go in all guns blazing. Reminding her to go in with kindness implied that there was something to indicate that she wouldn't be. Basically implying that she should put up with it and that it would be acting against the spirit of kindness to do otherwise.

This has nothing to do with kindness. Your comment makes OP out to be the bad guys here. They are not.

For reference we had a disabled guy who disturbed the whole street when we lived in London.
He was moved on

I’m not being offensive, I’m asking sincere questions. There have to be solutions beyond “it can’t be helped so everyone can just suck it up and be sleep deprived.”

There was absolutely no need to be so dismissive of OP's predicament to make that point though.

Your advice is incorrect

The landlord can evict the family. It’s a private rental.
They have the right if they can show they are causing a nuisance and letters from OP will show that.

This isn’t a LA property.

If your questions are sincere then what's with the eye roll when someone is trying to explain to you that a non verbal autistic child with limited to no understanding isn't trying to be violent or naughty or hurt anyone else but is sensory seeking when banging on the walls?

There are solutions. Unfortunately, they are expensive, time consuming and are regularly denied despite the need due to funding issues.

"I’m not being offensive, I’m asking sincere questions. "

So why the face when things are being explained to you.

Sigh. You would need:

• a LA willing to accept that the involuntary noise made by a disabled child is capable of being a statutory nuisance (definitely not a foregone conclusion).
• a fucktonne of evidence collected over a lengthy period to evidence the noise levels, and assuming that it supported a possible eviction;
• a legal assessment of the LA’s responsibilities under the EA, including its obligation not to discriminate against disabled people, to act reasonably, make reasonable adjustments, etc (and I suspect they would try everything and anything else first, because they would be exposed from a legal perspective and are generally risk-averse).
• if the legal assessment supported eviction as a “proportionate means” etc, the LA would need to go to court and convince a judge that their legal assessment was correct in order to get a court order - ime it would be a very unattractive argument to make, and might even fail at this stage.

There are quite correctly many checks and balances in place to protect the disabled and children, especially in circumstances where they are in difficulties as a direct result of that disability.

The eyeroll is because it’s downright stupid to declare that banging which makes a party wall shake is NOT violent. Of course it is violent.

Who is it violent too?

DLA isn't for eating though, is it? That's what the UC side of things is for. Although I'm sure you'll come up with reason ie the neighbours son, because he has autism has sensory issues around food and so the neighbour has to offer an a vast array of foods each mealtime, eating up all the UC & DLA..

No, discrimination by a private landlord is still unlawful under the EA. The same rule applies, ie you can’t evict someone for anything related to their disability. As explained above, statutory noise laws may not assist in the context of a disabled child’s noise - it’s involuntary, and not necessarily anything that can be changed or mitigated. That would always involve the LA.

But they do.
Councils have to house people in they are homeless.

The landlord is within his rights to evict.

If the neighbour leaves before the baylifs turn up then the council are not responsible to house them. Only if they are evicted by baylifs are they legally homeless and only then will the council help.

There are long waiting lists for nearly all of the UK so they will be housed in communal flats with a room and access to a kitchen, or a bnb. Whatever.

Priority may be given as the child is disabled but there are many others with similar and worse family makeups ahead in the queue. Being autistic does not mean you do not join that queue !