Can I choose how my bridemaids have their hair?

[walliceandme]

Genuine question, getting married and want my bridemaids to all have the same hair - all of their hair is long so it'll be easy but one has a thick fringe and would it be rude if I asked her to have a hairstyle that clips it back? I want them all to have their hair like this but unsure how it'll work with a full fringe? AIBU?

Totally unreasonable. Just let them have their hair how they want. They aren’t in the army.

I have a fringe to hide a scar I am self conscious of. Please don’t ask her to clip back her fringe

YABU. I wear a fringe as I have a long face and a huge forehead and won't be seen dead without it. Why would you make someone who is presumably a friend so uncomfortable?

Let her have her fringe how she wants - there will be a reason why she has a thick fringe.

Also a thick fringe pulled back will look awful.

I think it's fine to ask for hair to be 'up' though

Hopefully in a short while you will look back in horror at how bridezilla you were.

You are getting carried away by the wedding hoopla.
A wedding isn't a piece of theatre with props, costumes, and chorus.

At least you had some inkling you were being unreasonable, or you wouldn't have asked. So you at least have that going for you.

This I’m afraid OP.
you should be ashamed 🤭

YANBU asking for long hair to be tied back or up, but I think you're going a bit overboard worrying about a fringe. Unless it's in her eyes and she keeps tossing her head like a horse! Then perhaps you could gently suggest it . But she may say no. As a PP mentioned, it could be hiding a scar. So as long as you accept her answer, fair enough, I think.

I was worried reading this thread that it would be a much more drastic demand such as demanding someone with a long mane of tresses to cut them into a chin length bob or something.

It's possible the bridesmaids all gave off 'underwhelmed' or even 'downright mutinous' vibes when the OP made her suggestion, and hence the question asked here...

They're having different dresses, some floral and some plain but you think they should all have the same hairstyle? Speak to your hairdresser (assuming you are paying to have everyone's hair done) and get some more pictures of styles you would like. Speak to your bridesmaids and show them the pictures. You're aiming for a vibe not a regimented look. Pinning back a fringe will look silly, a hairband might work, but you shouldn't make your bridesmaids uncomfortable.

I wish I had enough time and space in my life to fret about someone else’s fringe.

No, not really. It’s irrelevant - you’re marrying tha man you love. The rest is trivia.

So you ask the person doing the hair and the owner of said hair what they think will work. You can have a preference for a look but you can't actually make anyone do anything.

I wouldn’t physically be able to do that style with my hair so yes, YABU.

You’ve asked them to be your bridesmaids and have decided what they should wear which is fine. How they do their hair is their own business IMO and they should style their hair how they want.

If you're not sure what hairstyle suits a thick fringe maybe try asking the thick fringe-haver? Just a thought. But personally I don't see any reason why a fringe couldn't work with the style you've chosen, for all you know the model in the picture may have a fringe! Unless all your bridesmaids have the exact same hair type and texture they're never going to look completely uniform anyway. That style will look a bit different on someone with poker straight, fine hair to how it looks on someone with thick naturally wavy hair, for example. So if one of them has a fringe it's really not a big deal. Pinning back a thick fringe will just look odd and draw more attention to it.

Also a bit confused as to why it's so important for their hair to look identical if the style and patterns of dresses are completely different??

Shame there wasn't a poll.

I think this is fairly unanimous

Personally I think it is nicer to let bridesmaids choose hairstyle they like and know will work for them. This is what I did when I got married and what has happened most of the times I was a bridesmaid too. One time when I was a bridesmaid the bride did want both of us to have the same hairstyle and we were fine with it, so that was also OK. To be fair it looked nice and suited us both. So I would say it is perfectly reasonable to ask them (very nicely) if they would mind having the same style. If they would prefer not to have that style go with what they are comfortable with, you want them to be happy on the day. You could also ask the hairdresser if they think it would work with a fringe.

Oh really don’t do this. I bought a nice clip for my bridesmaids to have in their hair. Think subtle vintage look diamanté slide but that was all what they agreed on but then I said any hairstyle was fine. A friend asked me and other bridesmaids to all have quite a severe French pleat which I hated (but didn’t let her know). Really didn’t feel like myself all day and night. At most ask for them to have hair up but for them to agree a similar look between them xx

Actually OP, looking at that pic again, I'm unsure why you don't think it'll work with a fringe anyway? I think it'd look fine. Haven't RTFT so may have missed something.

So apart from coming back to say she can't imagine any hairstyle going with a fringe, the OP has disappeared because she didn't get the answers she wanted.😂

She’s not back because she’s taken my suggestion and is busy sourcing identical wigs for them all.

I can’t see what the other bridesmaids can’t wear a clip on fringe?

This is your only option OP!

Having different dresses for individuality sounds lovely. I’m certain that the hairstyle that would most suit a thick fringe would be the one that the bridesmaid chooses herself and feels most comfortable with - surely she will look her best if she can choose her own hairstyle?