Is this enough calories to keep a human alive?

[Glokkey]

is this enough calories to keep a human alive?

2 cheese and onion rolls (look Ike sausage rolls)
5 scotch eggs
bombay mix
magnum

one sausage in a roll
coleslaw
wedges

I saw a video on how a parent got her child to eat some vegetables/salad and you could possibly try it. She just chopped up peppers/cucumber style food into batons, plated them up and said nothing. Left the plate on the coffee table when they were watching tv and as the kids were distracted they picked at it automatically. Could you try something similar to try get some vitamins in her. Maybe some hummus on the side.

Also, I definite echo PPs comments about the antidepressant mirtazapine. It makes you constantly hungry. I was warned when I started it about weight gain being a side effect, and when I didn't really react the Dr said 'I'm serious, you will put on stones if you are not careful'. Unfortunately for me he was right, but perhaps a good idea for your DM?

It also helps with insomnia, which if she's not sleeping at night from grief and is exhausted, might also be affecting her appetite. I know my DGM just used to lie in bed all night staring at the ceiling after DGF died, eventually she got sleeping tablets, but really I think she was sort of punishing herself as part of her grief by not seeking help for it initially and just putting up with it and how awful it was making her feel.

I'm sorry for your recent loss, and I understand your worry.

Grief does funny things to some people, and everyone deals with it differently. A few years ago, my DH was showing similar symptoms to something that my aunt had previously shown. My aunt then had a serious medical emergency and ended up on life support, with it being turned off soon after. Needless to say, for the few days until we got test results back, my brain decided that he was going to suffer the same fate that she did. I couldn't eat more than a pick, the thought of eating actually repulsed me.

It's not a healthy diet, but it will sustain her for a while. If you can get her to have some nuts or anything like that, then that will help. Picky things that don't require a knife and fork and can be eaten with fingers, etc are good. Or would she eat some soup from a cup? Again, she wouldn't have to think about using cutlery, just a cup.

And I'm led to believe, though have no personal experience of this, that anti depressants take a while to kick in.

I’m so sorry for what you and your family are going through, @Glokkey. I know it’s already been mentioned but peanuts are a good source of calorie dense nutrition. Peanut butter but also would she perhaps snack a tiny bit on peanuts if left in a bowl within reach at all times? Macadamias and Brazil nuts also good for that.

So many wonderful messages. Appreciate all the amazing advice.

My apologies if this has already been mentioned, but as my MIL got older, she loved ice-cream. As I get older I love good quality ice cream too. On her death bed in her 90s my MIL would still eat one of those small tubs of ice cream you get in theatres. It wasn’t too daunting in size and it had lots of calcium. When you don’t feel like solid food ice cream slips down. We were spoon feeding her and you may need to do this too for you mum if she is catatonically depressed. She definitely needs to see a consultant psychiatrist and have her meds reassessed. Hopefully, also some bereavement therapy. It may be grief but it’s an abnormal grief reaction if she is at death’s door. Leave the dog and the fussy eatrrs to your partner/ their own devices. They won’t starve. Concentrate on mum. Get your brother to do more than sit with her.
You sound like an amazing daughter btw.

For how long?

Scotch eggs....the ambrosia of the gods..

Those are quite calorie dense foods, so your mum won't starve but I would worry about so much processed junk. I don't want to be that poster, but my gran was like that after she started developing dementia. She would not eat proper meals just bits of junk now and then.

Really hope there is nothing sinister going on with your mum. I have had some M H issues of my own and when I was very unwell I would just pick at rubbish food and couldn't bring myself to eat proper meals. Once during a breakdown I actually ended up with hair falling out and bleeding gums. I lost a lot of weight (went from size 30 to size 18) in just a few months. This is unlike me as normally I can't stop eating and many years later I'm back at a size 22-24.

If she used to like the food you cooked previously, try giving her smaller amounts of it, a dollop in a bowl as opposed to a plate, if serving chilli you could add a spoon of sour cream or cheese for some extra calories. Quite often a plate of food can be over facing when your appetite is low, so try serving it in ways that are less daunting.

Does she like things like a gooseberry fool ? 200 calories in a little pot, easy to eat, not too filling and tastes nice.

What does your mum say about what she wants to eat or the reason why she isn’t eating as much?

Do get the GP check in case the weight loss is due to a physical issue and the timing is bad.

Due to illness I have also spent time living with relatives. It was exactly the right thing. I knew that but I still felt a loss of independence. I’m hope this doesn’t come across as critical- it was the right thing for me. it’s just you said you moved her in rather than she wanted to be with others or she was not coping so agreed to stay. Could she be like me finding that loss hard while knowing it is what she needs?

And then they post quickly in their haste to gleefully stick the boot in and make you feel terrible. Try to ignore them

To be honest I would be taking mum to GP to get her checked out. A weight loss of 30lb in 5 weeks is concerning and sounds like your mums appetite has diminished and she cant face a big plate of food put in front of her.

I think you should take her to the GP and discuss this. It's possible that there is an underlying condition which hasn't been picked up yet. It could be more than depression.
Just let her eat whatever she wants and don't worry too much about it not being healthy. Offer her small amounts of food regularly throughout the day.

Her appetite may have lowered. Those foods are more calories with less effort, which she might need.

You won't go hungry but if that's your daily diet for a long period you will end up malnourished with many health issues.

Old people need fewer calories I've heard.

Yes, but it will concern a possible heart attack.

A lot of people seem to prefer this sort of food when they get older. Or she might just be in a junk food phase. It might be worth speaking to a dietician about healthier options she'd still eat. They know lots of tricks for disguising good stuff!

You could try giving her one or two high calorie shot drinks, especially if she has days where she eats very little. They’re very small, 40ml I think, so easy to get down but very high in calories. Might help in the short term. I gave them to my grandmother when she was poorly and had no appetite they helped to stop her losing any more weight at least.
Hope your mum starts to improve soon. Sounds like you’re a really lovely daughter x
https://www.nutridrinks.co.uk/calogen-extra-shots-neutral?gad_source=1&gbraid=0AAAAAD0oYigTAY7tUh-MmW-bxuCQRuozj&gclid=Cj0KCQjwzYLABhD4ARIsALySuCRDYUA64CqqfTBMaKduD0kGUIHqROW9oE3sDNhLyjNJQKOQ-FuvfCMaAgwgEALw_wcB

If she's lost that much weight in that time she really needs to speak to a GP to check her health.

Sounds like a recipe for acute constipation!

It sounds like your Mum is grieving & therefore is just eating for the sake of it, not because she feels hungry. I'd have a gentle chat with her & explain you're worried about her weight loss & offer her meals when you're making them for your family. If she choses not to eat them make sure you have plenty of healthy snack food in the cupboards & fridge so she can eat when she feels like it.

Is she depressed? Does she need to see a doctor or a Councillor?