MIL buying baby cringey clothing

[Copenhagener]

A very short AIBU.

I had my first baby last year. My MIL wants to buy baby clothing - I’m fine with that.

Instead of buying baby items we’ve said we like or need, she keeps buying baby clothing with pointed and cringey ‘grandma knows best’ slogans that I find so embarrassing to dress her in - so I don’t.

See picture below for an example: ‘Grandma: a mother without rules!’

There has also been: ‘grandma’s best friend’ ‘pass me to grandma’ ‘’if mommy says no, ask grandma!’ ‘call grandma: she always knows what to do!’ Etc. I have no idea where she finds this nonsense. She’s deliberately going out of her way to buy them. A lot are clearly low-quality rubbish from the internet.

She keeps asking why baby isn’t wearing said clothing and going on and on about how funny these outfits are when I see her.

AIBU to not dress baby in these outfits / ask her to cut it out?

It’s not her first grandchild and up until now, I thought we had a good relationship, but now I feel a bit irritated with her.

Actually she's buying the stuff that she wants you to buy her. If I was you I'd have DH warn her about the TEMU toxins re children's clothes and then the both of you ramp up the Grandma stuff going back the other way. Get her 'best grandma' mugs and aprons and glasses case etc - personalised photo birthday cards from your DC with pics of them both etc.

You'll satisfy the need to 'grandma' everything without your baby having to constantly wear the clothes.

The other thing you can do is spend half an hour one afternoon taking about 20 different pics in all the clothes and send them to the gift giver a couple at a time over a couple of weeks. It makes it look like they are wearing them all the time but it was actually just a 30 minute photo shoot.

If they're mainly bodysuits like the one pictured, or vests. I would say YABU, as these are usually underneath clothing (with the exception of very warm days). But if it is outer wear, I would agree with you!

Is it because she is a MIL to a woman in this instance? Does she have grandchildren by her daughters? Maybe she didn't buy these clothes for them because she feels safe and secure in her status as granny because those children belong to a daughter. You are a DIL . That's a different relationship and difficult to navigate. Is this her way of being 'seen' when you have a mum who is, obviously, also a granny

Once, she even changed baby into them when I was in another room

I would stop indulging her. She is clearly overstepping and it's only going to get worse. I would not take anything from her anymore. Just tell her you have more than enough clothes and don't have room for anymore, so any additional clothing would get donated anyway.

Be very firm and don't let her near you kids unsupervised. She clearly can't be trusted.

Take a picture of baby wearing it send it to grandma and then accidentally spill baby food that stains on it - throw it in bin - everyone is happy

That will just encourage her to keep buying more, definitely not the way forward.

She has an interested mil
Would she rather she wasn't interested.
Give and take.

Tbf that baby grow looks really nice. But if you don't like it then you don't like it. Either tell her to stop or dress baby in it when grandma visits.

She has an overbearing MIL trying to impose her dreadful taste onto a baby. The OP is better off telling her the clothes are not to her taste and explaining if granny wants to buy baby some clothes perhaps they could go shopping together. I always ask my DIL what she would like me to get the grandchildren as I appreciate there may be generational differences in style but would never dream to put impose the godawful choices this woman is imposing on her poor DIL.

I’m with you OP hate this kind of clothing and my MIL was the same. I made a point of putting my son in something she bought every so often when we visited or when they had him while I was at work. I also used to take photos of him wearing stuff, send it to her and then donate it. It kept her happy.

We did in the end have to ask her to stop buying clothes as it got to the stage where everytime we went round she presented us with a new wardrobe and it was all way too much. I think because I dressed him in the clothes she bought, she thought we liked them and then bought more, so if you do it choose wisely.

I would have drawn the line at Temu clothes however. I watched a documentary on this type of clothing and nearly everything contained lead and other hazardous chemicals. I refuse to buy anything from that site and would never dress my kids in it. I would maybe explain to your MIL about Temu and just say you appreciate the thought but you really don’t agree with their ethical practices and won’t be dressing baby in anything from there - in a nicer way than I’ve just said. Maybe even ask her to watch the documentary. Trust me, my MIL only ever bought clothes from supermarkets so there’s plenty of crap with slogans she can still buy if she wants to without having to use Temu.

It would be such a pity if the baby had some serious poonamis over the worst of them and they were so bad they had to be thrown out.

Gosh them clothes are so cringey 😅🥹 I understand where you are coming from. I would feel repulsed putting them on a baby too.

It's probably / hopefully coming from a place of goodness and her being proud - wanting to share images and show off her grandchild and the 'cool' and 'funny' clothes she has selected. Still though - yucky - unfortunately. And its kinda like overbearing via clothes lol who wants to read slogans like that all day as you look down at your baby. Impending MIL knows better than you do reminding you as you care for your child.

Different taste I suppose.

The trouble with indulging this, is where does it stop? Will she be buying slogan t shirts and other things no one wants for years? It might get even more out of control!

I don’t understand why she cannot ask what’s needed. Who honestly wants crap that goes to landfill? On that basis alone, clothes should be chosen carefully. Steering mil towards buying school uniform in a few years time would help though!

She has a self-obsessed MIL who wants to be the baby's favourite person, like she did with OP's dog (which she nearly killed in the process). It's all about MIL herself, not about the baby.

We used clothes we didn't like for messy food/play. Took a photo first obvs, then apologised bc article was 'ruined'

I wouldn’t accept anything that I knew had been bought from a place like Temu as they are known to use forced labour to make their products and most of it is shipped from China so it’s also environmentally unfriendly. Surely she would understand if you told her you don’t like the idea of people being exploited just so first world consumers can save a bit of money. (It’s also very attention-seeking of her, and controlling in a passive aggressive way, but probably best not to mention that!)

My dad bought my ds an awful jumper it said’if you think I’m bad, you should see my grandad’ he paid a lot of money on. My dad is no way bad he’s a no nonsense type of man. Also calling my son bad just a huge no from me! I sold it on eBay

I don’t agree with others about placating her and using the clothes.

You need to tell her that you don’t dress your child in slogan clothes and that you don’t want to use clothes from Temu/Shein etc You can gently explain why and ask her to stop.

If she carries on then I’d start giving the clothes back to her.

It sounds harsh but I think it’s the only way she’d listen.

Is your baby the first girl as she sounds a bit too over the top?

Maybe time to wash them all at 60 degrees with a brand new cheap black towel....whoopsie.

Take a picture of your baby wearing the outfit and send it to her. Pop a bag inside your babies wardrobe, and put the outfit in there. Once you have a few of the outfits, donate them to a charity shop. If she asks, why baby isn't wearing the outfit, just say 'Oh Sandra, she outgrew it ages ago'!!

I feel for you, OP. My MIL and another distant relation on her side love to buy absolute crap from Temu and Amazon for my children — low quality clothes and very poorly made / suspicious toys that break or seem dangerous for toddlers. These are people who can afford to buy better quality stuff, but pride themselves on the great bargains they find online.

It’s crazy to me how many people will buy awful, cheap tat that falls apart immediately since they think it’s a deal. It is completely nonsensical, a terrible use of resources, and more expensive in the long run, since none of the stuff lasts and it can’t be passed down to siblings. Drives me mad!

This! Take the pic and send and never put her in it again X

Do you have a washing line? Peg a couple of them out before she visits.

Smile, say thank you, take photo of baby wearing it. Pack up, charity shop.