MIL buying baby cringey clothing

[Copenhagener]

A very short AIBU.

I had my first baby last year. My MIL wants to buy baby clothing - I’m fine with that.

Instead of buying baby items we’ve said we like or need, she keeps buying baby clothing with pointed and cringey ‘grandma knows best’ slogans that I find so embarrassing to dress her in - so I don’t.

See picture below for an example: ‘Grandma: a mother without rules!’

There has also been: ‘grandma’s best friend’ ‘pass me to grandma’ ‘’if mommy says no, ask grandma!’ ‘call grandma: she always knows what to do!’ Etc. I have no idea where she finds this nonsense. She’s deliberately going out of her way to buy them. A lot are clearly low-quality rubbish from the internet.

She keeps asking why baby isn’t wearing said clothing and going on and on about how funny these outfits are when I see her.

AIBU to not dress baby in these outfits / ask her to cut it out?

It’s not her first grandchild and up until now, I thought we had a good relationship, but now I feel a bit irritated with her.

I think you are reasonable not to want to put your baby in poor quality clothes and not to want to take her out in clothes with slogans. I think you're being unreasonable in extrapolating from the slogans that your parenting is being attacked. The slogans are nothing to do with you, they are comments on the grandmother/grandchild relationship, and simply a sign of your MiLs pride and joy in her role as grandmother. They're meant to be a light hearted reference to a grandma adoring and spoiling a grandchild and a jokey nod to the 'grandma knows best' trope. I think you are seeing malicious intent where its unlikely to exist, which is a shame. Because its sounds like your baby had a devoted grandma. Albeit with questionable taste in clothes!

My MIL did very similar things when my daughter was born. Crappy Chinese tat, second hand clothes that were badly faded, obvious boys' clothes, 6 moving box sized boxes of the baby stuff she'd saved for 35-38 years, even the torn and poo-stained ones. She'd literally say "I know it's not great/stained/too small/incorrect for the time of year, but it'll do", when handing them over. It was as if she didn't give a shit that we wanted to buy our own child clothes (and a cot, a bath, etc etc), ourselves.

After she ignored our requests to check with us before buying and just kept leaving them in our mailbox or letting herself in with the 'emergency' key and depositing them on our kitchen table when we were out or asleep (yes, you've read that correctly), she got VERY ANGRY and emotionally manipulative when we eventually started to tell her no.

That's just one of the many reasons we ignore each other now.

My MIL used to buy god awful clothes/accessories for my baby. Think those Broderie Anglaise footmuffs for prams, big chunky hand knitted cardigans, all the things I would never have bought myself but he’d have them on whenever we went round because other than having a shit taste in baby clothes she’s a lovely woman and I wouldn’t have a wanted to offend her and baby didn’t give a shit what he was wearing! He never wore them anywhere else though!

Oh God I would hate this and my MIL has bought some shockers in the past. Accept graciously, straight into a bag for the charity shop. Ignore all further comments about said clothes. What does your partner think?

People are allowed to have standards.

Okay for her to get one of those outfits, but to continue buying tonnes of “grandma” outfits is just bloody bizarre. yanbu! Pop baby in them on occasion when seeing MiL but otherwise leave it.

You sound ungrateful if I’m honest.

I used to really hate it when people got my dd clothes that I didn’t like. I felt like I couldn’t return just because they were not To my taste but also didn’t want to dress her in them. In the end I’d put them on and send a picture and get her changed. Or use them as night time clothes, particularly vests etc.

Oh dear. I was ready to be on MIL and say that they are just clothes to be pooed and thrown up on but dear lord those are spectacularly shit.

Why should people be grateful for a load of tat? She isn’t grateful because she doesn’t want it.

Typical over-excited grandma! Irritating but understandable. Sounds as if she's gone a bit overboard with the slogans.

Just put them on when you see her, and apart from that, it might be useful to keep them as spares for when the baby vomits/has a blowout etc. Then later, you can turn them into household cloths!

Why would anyone be grateful for clothing saying grandma knows best? as if that’s a …gift?!?!?

I just couldn’t get worked up about this. Your child has a grandparent who is proud and loves them - maybe displaying it in every item of clothing is a bit much but it’s hardly crack cocaine. The clothes will be perfectly fine to donate if you aren’t going to use them, but ascribing malicious intent or a criticism of your parenting says more about you than it does her.

Perfect to wear if you do any messy activities or for when weaning x

My MIL is brilliant but when DS1 was born there was some weirdness. I think she felt my mum was seeing him more (which wasn't true) and it presented itself with her talking through the baby "oh is mean mummy making you cry again", particularly when other people were there. It really frustrated me, but we got past it and she's an amazing grandmother.

What I would do is tell her about the issues with Temu etc clothing but use any she gets from ok places. I understand they're not to your taste, but they grow fast and I wouldn't be going nuclear. If she pushes on why not always dressed in them I'd just say your baby has a lot of clothes and you intend to use them all.

Would she like grandma gifts? Mugs/car stickers etc? I know the suggestion above was about mean ones, but if she'd like them I would get her that kind of thing, she can then show out to her friends.

Now you've said Temu I'm with you all the way

I wouldn't even put them in the charity bag

Can your husband have a word?

I'd be exceptionally ungrateful, both for the slogans and the source

Get knitting : or find someone whom will and add a tank top (?) waist coat thing to cover the slogan or or long bib.

not my taste but in the house.. in her house (?) .. covered in food it’s probably unobjectionable. Fight with kindness .. put it on once and click click then send her a photo in bed .. a week later in the garden .. a week later in the pram. Bed garden pram ( kid would only need to wear the item for 10 mins)

then as soon as you can have a thing : Star Wars.. toucans … horses .. and ask her to buy stuff like that to make little billy/billie smile !

Bizarre but not the end of the world. I'd bite my tongue, take one photo with the tshirt on and then throw it at the back of the wardrobe so no one can get to them. OR put them on when you know baby will have a poonami 😅 my son always did a poonami after a morning feed if i put him in the bouncer chair.

Jesus, she nearly killed your dog! She sounds really stupid but quite dangerous. Be careful she doesn't do something even more ridiculous with your child in her quest to be the 'favourite' grandma'.

Perfect weaning clothes. Especially as for some reason, they all seem to hold onto stains despite you always trying your best to get the stains out?

I'm sure grandma will love a photo of the baby enjoying their first tastes of spaghetti bolognaise, tinned ravoli, pureed carrots and chocolate pudding whilst wearing them.

OP I know exactly how you feel as I've been in this situation. Just wait until your first Christmas, an absolute mountain of crap, she will buy your one year old toys made for a five year old. And when baby becomes a toddler, the constant chocolate and sweets. Unless you've been through it yourself, it's easy to call someone ungrateful. I wouldn't put anything from temu/shein on my baby either.

I felt like this with my pfb and hated everything MIL picked out as it wasn't what I wanted. Looking back I can see I was the problem, and I cringe thinking about it now my kids are in their teens! It's just an outfit, you are being precious, but you'll get over it.

Exactly this!
I'm sure it was only meant in a good sense and with excitement.
Why is everyone so rude?
I remember my ex SIL saying how cheap something was that my mum had bought for her twins. I was fuming! She only had her pension at the time.
If someone takes the time & money to buy a gift don't be so mean. Horrible people!

I’d just say to her ‘we really don’t like clothing with slogans, hope you’ll understand’.