Wedding drama!!

[Pebblesx]

I was invited to a hen do last weekend. My child was ill and to be honest,

1. don’t like leaving my kids when they’re unwell (I remember being a child & when I was poorly all I wanted was my mum)
2. I wouldn’t be able to enjoy myself as my other half just isn’t as understanding and if there were any issues, would have left it for me to worry about when I got home
3. i am a bit of a socially awkward person anyway and none of my close friendship were going, so I feel I wouldn’t have enjoyed myself as much as I’d like

i cancelled, yes, it was probably not the right thing to do, but as mentioned above, I had my reasons! a couple days later I got a message from the hen and she basically said she can’t have us come to the day as she can’t risk losing the money and seats etc. fair enough. But she wasn’t honest and i wuld prefer honesty, athough it would have made me feel rubbish, the truth hurts. so she basically rold me were not invited to the day, but the evening. to add to this, i then saw a notofication that i had missed whereby the hen was added to the group chat, uploaded pics of them all, rhen i was immediately removed from the group (by someone else, which shows it was topic of conversation among them!)

the more i think about it, the more it hurts and im questioning my morals. my predicament is - do i leave it, move on and act like norhing has happened, or do i say "thanks but no thanks". people get ill, circumstances change and EVERYONE at some point has had to cancel plans last minute, its life.

i paid for myself and i paid extra for the hen (not everyone did) so the only person that missed out and was inconvenienced is me. i hadnt even met all but 2 of them, so my not being there wouldnt have changed any of their plans or circumatqnces, instead probaby benefited them as they could make use of my food and alcohol package!

am i overthinking this? or is she being unreasonable and they spent time b'tch'ng and plotting to uninvite me?
genuinely curious as i feel like my anxiety is taking over and causing me to doubt myself, but at the same time, im thinking this is petty playground drama and im too old for this rubbish!

Just to clarify because this seems so bizarre; you paid for the hen, but couldn’t go because your child was ill.. you gave this reason and didn’t ask for a refund.
The bride then downgraded your wedding invite to ‘evening-only’ and you were kicked out of the group chat?

Do you regularly cancel last minute/have you ever been called out on flakiness?

To uninvite you from most of her wedding is such an extreme reaction she’s either a reactionary horrible person OR you have form for this OR someone has lied about you (i.e said you didn’t pay).

If it’s not typical behaviour, then I would be messaging the bride and asking if she knows you still paid for the hen do. Does she know why you didn’t show? Talk to her and work out her POV, and then work out how you want to proceed.

Yes I think it’s probably the brides final straw with OP flaking and making excuses. It’s not just about lost money either it’s how the dynamic changes for a group event, especially when people going may not know each other.
I’ve seen my friend flake on so much over the years, she now complains no one wants to do anything because people won’t book events or trips with her. I wish I had the boundaries of OPs friend!