To be fed up of being on a good income but always skint?

[Justonemorecurlywurly]

I know I’m going to get flamed, lots of “boo-hoo, poor you”, and that there are people far worse off but -

Our household income (family of 4) is roughly £110-120k. DH earns about £100k of that, I’m self employed and part time so my income fluctuates. I think that’s pretty good money but it feels like we can never afford to do anything.

No holiday for 2 years.
1 car
Very few clothes
Modest house

If after paying bills, we ever buy something non-essential like a meal out, or maybe one or two items of new clothes, birthday present, that’s it, we’re out of money for the month. And we have no savings. It’s ridiculous!

We did try to move a few years back but couldn’t afford it so remortgaged instead to extend the house a little. We got the best deal we could and borrowed only as much as we were comfortable with (even though it meant we couldn’t do as much work as we needed). But unfortunately we made a mistake fixing the new mortgage for only two years and when that time was up, rates had shot to which has made our repayments considerably more expensive which really hasn’t helped.

I’m so fed up of it. I honestly feel like we felt so much better off about 10 years ago when we were earning A LOT less.

Does anyone else feel like this? Is it just that everything is so expensive now??

I know some people will say I should work full time but for reasons I won’t go into, I need to be available for my DC so me being p/t works much better for the whole family.

@Whatsitreallylike why don't you pay into a pension?

I would say that’s a large mortgage, not a modest mortgage. That is where most of your money is going.
which part of the country are you in? If it’s the south then obviously the cost of living will be higher.

We have a similar income to you and can afford holidays, eating out and to put some away for savings. We have a mortgage of around £200k though and no loans or car finance - We drive around in two old cars.

It’s a good household income but as I’m sure has been raised when it’s disproportionately earned you get rinsed in tax, so the take home won’t be as impressive as a household earning £120k more evenly.

I have no idea what the take home would be on £120k but ours is about £39k

Listing outgoings isn’t quite the flex people like to think. At the end of the day you chose where to spend and the big things are the big things.

i put £1k a month into my pension. Immediately the “live in a one bedroom flat and drive a 17 year old car” brigade would tell me to stop doing that. But who is going to pay for my old age if not me? Why shouldn’t I take advantage of a good pension scheme my employer offers?

the OP is why can’t high earners do basic things like this? Isn’t that the dream, the social contract of being a high earner?

and the answer is COL has broken the social contract. The middle classes are over.

How rude!

I’m genuinely baffled by posts like this - we have a similar income and have a big house with no mortgage, go on multiple holidays a year and kids are in private school.

This is wild but it's probably your lack of mortgage...

Presumably cheap private school too as it would be 30k a year per dc where I am so even without a mortgage 2 would be hard on 100/110k.

These are also the funniest sorts of comments because it shows how utterly out of touch come people are.
A couple earning £120k a year must not borrow more than the equivalent of a £1,200 per month payment or they are over-mortgaging themselves?
A £250k budget doesn’t buy you a small family home in huge parts of the country!

You are in a position to clear the debt. It is unbelievable irresponsible that you have stretched your finances so far, that earning 120,000 per year is not cutting it.

Try buying nothing but essentials for a year, update children's wardrobe from a charity shop.

Is your DH gambling?

You can't have a nearly 400k me mortgage and only pay 450pm... Break that down for us. .

I pay 2.5% and my employer pays 12.5% … I have 15% total pension conts which I’m happy with. But thanks for checking 😘

Because you bought your house 15yrs ago? It is probably 50-100% more expensive now and interest rates have doubled.

I could barely afford my house if I tried to buy it now.

@Whatsitreallylike but how is your take home 5.7k then?

You cannot be good with money if you feel like that isn’t enough. I am a single parent whose household income is less than yours and I manage holidays, meals out, I pay £250 a month for wraparound child care as well!
Time for a serious look at what you’re spending your money on. You may not be able to afford the lifestyle you want but you make choices based on what you can afford. If you want a holiday then prioritise saving for one, it’ll mean you don’t spend money on other things though.

Still waiting for you to actually share your outgoings OP.

It's the old story. The bigger the income generally means a bigger mortgage, better car, better food & on it goes. That's why it's a myth those couples with children on relatively huge incomes compared to others are better off. They just appear to be.

Yeah I need the figures on this, and the number for the mortgage broker wizard that sealed the deal…

and my employer pays 12.5%

that's another example of how things have changed pension wise, it's not a great contribution. It's why i moved to the public sector.

So you don’t understand take home pay but are quick to proclaim how much less you have?
The take home is 5k for the DH and around 1.2k for the OP.
Then there’s the child benefit you are entitled to which the OP isn’t, so another £200 odd inflation your income with 2 kids. Then nursery funding which the OP isn’t entitled to. In many cases lower incomes are entitled to a UC top up, particularly if renting.
All of a sudden your smaller income starts to creeper closer and closer to the OP’s in terms of spending power.

This poster paid off a large mortgage before 70, spends £30k a year on private school (you need to earn £60k alone for that) and is so daft she thinks it’s down to buying a massive doer- upper a mere 15 years ago?!! 😂😂😂

poster- I bought a tiny doer upper 15 years ago, it cost £300k and I had to earn £60k and have a £45k deposit for it. I sold it for £500k and now live in an average 4 bed detached. Where did I go wrong? Why aren’t my kids on private school? Heeelpppp

I'd be going through every expense for three months because this definition of skint is definitely different to mine.

WHERE THE FUCK DO YOU WORK?!! I have worked with some of the best pension funds in the UK and have never heard of such an incredible one

edit- does that also mean you can never leave

Oh come on!

You have no mortgage? Lucky you.

You either live in a very cheap area of the UK or had some windfall to pay for your house.

And the private school must be very cheap. Top public schools are at least £40K pa- meaning someone has to earn over £80K gross just to fund one child. And that's just for their schooling- no housing or other costs!

I have no idea what the take home would be on £120k but ours is about £39k

No shit! Do you get child benefit, free childcare hours? tax free childcare?

I think there’s a trap lots of people fall into when they hit the 6 figure salary mark where they assume they’re now doing well.

You watch TV and see a couple with “ordinary jobs” living in a huge house, driving an SUV, dressed immaculately; or your best friend with a “role in marketing” goes on a 5* trip to the Maldives; or your neighbours have just spent 6 figures on an extension and you take it at face value rather than appreciate your friend is actually on £200k; your neighbour inherited £500k when her parent died; the TV couple are totally make believe and what Netflix would have you believe is a “naice family home” is actually a £3m terrace in west London.

the truth is if you have housing costs of £3k (mortgage, council tax, utilities) and you feel like you “should” be able to afford a Saturday night take away, the odd bottle of wine, tea and cake whilst out on Sunday you’re going to burn through your £110k very quickly