To be fed up of being on a good income but always skint?

[Justonemorecurlywurly]

I know I’m going to get flamed, lots of “boo-hoo, poor you”, and that there are people far worse off but -

Our household income (family of 4) is roughly £110-120k. DH earns about £100k of that, I’m self employed and part time so my income fluctuates. I think that’s pretty good money but it feels like we can never afford to do anything.

No holiday for 2 years.
1 car
Very few clothes
Modest house

If after paying bills, we ever buy something non-essential like a meal out, or maybe one or two items of new clothes, birthday present, that’s it, we’re out of money for the month. And we have no savings. It’s ridiculous!

We did try to move a few years back but couldn’t afford it so remortgaged instead to extend the house a little. We got the best deal we could and borrowed only as much as we were comfortable with (even though it meant we couldn’t do as much work as we needed). But unfortunately we made a mistake fixing the new mortgage for only two years and when that time was up, rates had shot to which has made our repayments considerably more expensive which really hasn’t helped.

I’m so fed up of it. I honestly feel like we felt so much better off about 10 years ago when we were earning A LOT less.

Does anyone else feel like this? Is it just that everything is so expensive now??

I know some people will say I should work full time but for reasons I won’t go into, I need to be available for my DC so me being p/t works much better for the whole family.

Possibly universal credit depending how many kids ...

Haha it is very good to be fair. You get 10% as standard and then they match the 2.5%. It’s financial services.

OP, sympathies. Our household income is a fair bit more but one more child and yes it’s not going anywhere near as far as I would expect. The cost of everything is insane. I think a really hard part is the amount we spend to mitigate the current absolute inadequacy of public provided services - eg ed psych, tutoring, dentistry and medical. Those things eat money like nobody’s business even with private insurance.

I get £170 a month child benefit, no I don't claim for childcare. Not sure that bumps our income up to the equivalent of £120k?

@AquaPeer my DH gets similar in a big law firm.

I get 20% ish & pay in 8% for a DB pension

I get the same as you but I consider myself to be in an exceptionally good scheme. Most workers never see the like of ours, let alone 10% free money for a 2.5% contribution

It’s all relative though isn’t it. If your house is in a ‘nicer’ area then your mortgage will be bigger and your council tax bill. But your mortgage is bigger because your house is worth more money and at the end of the day, if you manage to pay it off you will own a very big asset. The cost of living understandably makes you feel worse off but you are still incredibly lucky because you can afford to make the choice to live somewhere more expensive that you will potentially own one day and pass on to your kids. If you really want to prioritise going out and holidays you could choose to do that by moving to a house of equal size in a less appealing area.

Obviously without seeing the exact spreadsheet of your outgoings it's hard to comment. We have a similar income and mortgage but seem to be fine for money. We haven't always been and still hold on to frugal habits. We don't have car loans, or in fact buy anything on finance. Our mobiles are £10 a month sim only contracts. We save a lot so that big bills don't knock us sideways. We don't buy a lot. It's so easy to fritter money away having on 'essentials' e.g top of the range phone contract each would be nearly £100 month. If you have cars on finance that could be between £700 - 800 a month. Gym memberships could be £100 plus for both of you a month. Modern life adds up but you can make big savings. Don't buy on finance. Create a home gym. Don't do meal boxes etc. Not saying you do any of these things but these could be areas you can make savings.

@Napface so you get 41k (why aren't you using tax free childcare by the way - it goes up to 16 & can be used for clubs). The gap will be smaller than you think!

We're not on universal credit, we don't qualify. We do have two kids.

I work part time and on shifts so we dont need it (op also doesn't mention childcare)

In terms of life not being what you expect and the social contract, I currently have 2 friends (a similar type though as you will see) who have recently left their spouses, children and large houses because having finally hit the promotion that took them to more then 500k salary, they realised they couldn’t live the life they believed £500k got them- and had been working towards/ promised all their career. So they have tried changing “something else” to get the life they desire

Well I think there are lots of people here don’t understand the tax system, going on about OPs H not being that better off than someone on UC as he pays 40% tax. 🙄

He doesn’t pay tax on all his earnings, only on those above the 20% tax bracket. Unless they have changed it since I last looked, he also won’t pay NI on the earnings above the 20% tax bracket, which is a substantial saving. He is ALWAYS taking home way, way over what someone on UC is. Theses attempts to make out a household on £120k a year are only slightly better off than someone on minimum wage and UC are not just laughably ridiculous but also quite grotesque.

@AquaPeer in certain private industries that is pretty normal although yes 2.5% is a pretty low contribution. DHs pays more but that's due to additional contributions for tax purposes.

I just assume lots of people work in the public sector, teachers get 28% now which is 😮. I'm still annoyed that the scheme i'm in used to be better but closed to newer entrants whilst I was at uni 😆

Literally no one said it’s “barely over” but the take home is not multiple times higher like many posters are suggesting.

He is ALWAYS taking home way, way over what someone on UC is.

Nobody has said otherwise but perhaps you haven't read the thread.

Literally no one said it’s “barely over” but the take home is not multiple times higher like many posters are suggesting.

Quite

This!

I get why some people in really difficult financial situations are miffed with posts like this.

But I think its ok to feel frustrated. Out household income is about 130k. We both left shitty previous relationships (one gambler and drinker and one a weed smoker who never worked). Went to uni late twenties with kids not younger. Both have around 40k student debt still. Mortgage of 1200. We also have a large blended family (who all live with us, several kids with SEND) and have huge bills on utilities, having bigger cars, A house bug enough for everyone.

The bigger salary is DHs at 90k, but it's only hit high levels in his 40s, 5 years ago her was on 40k and 10 years ago 25k.

We don't have foreign holidays, our cars are 10 years old but reliable, clothes from Vinted or maybe a rare treat from next or m and s.

We are absolutely comfortable. But we have both worn ourselves out to the bone, worked under significant stress, done masters degrees whilst working full time and looking after kids.

I think it is ok to look at the lifestyle that someone in our position had in the 80s/90s when we were growing up and feel frustrated at how basic our lifestyle is. Yes we have a comfortable home and all the necessities, but my grandparents had that on entry level jobs and would have scoffed at working extra hours unpaid, studying in the evening etc.

That doesn't mean we aren't grateful not to be in a dire situation but it's ok that we feel a bit frustrated too.

@AquaPeer that's actually depressing

Agreed but 5% maximum employers contribution is also common in the private sector

Our income isn't too dissimilar to the OPs & we do save but I also get parental help eg parents have a holiday home, contribute to car repairs & renovations etc.

That's a big help and often understated.

I think you need to go through everything you spend your money on for the past 3 months
Scan through the past 13 months for any yearly stuff (Christmas and birthday presents, anything you pay yearly etc like car tax, house insurance etc)
Then put it under titles like
Essentials that will always be there (Things like Council Tax electric etc)
Things that have an end date, or can be paid off like mortgage, credit cards, loans.
Food,
Car stuff,

Birthdays and Christmas,
One offs
Eating out etc

Then look at each entry to actually see what you are spending your money on and if it can be reduced

Things that jumped out to me were £300 per month on water and why you didn’t shop around for another mortgage offer when your last one finished

I have never spent more than £70 per month on even metered water (Family of 4 with now adult children living at home who shower each day etc)
(you a leak?

Look at every single bill and shop around for a cheaper but same service/cover elsewhere

Look at places like Quidco and Topcashback or Ebay FBMP for everything from what you need to buy for the house, clothes etc

Look at your income. Exactly how much on average was your income in the last year
Look at selling anything you don’t need or use and put the money towards the highest interest item on the what has an end date list. (If you have credit cards pay off the one with the least amount on it and then try and get an 0% transfer to it from the next biggest amount then repeat)

Look at how your house can earn you money. Rent out your driveway (Parkopedia etc) Could your house become a film set?

This reminds me of exdh not being able to pay the bills but not understanding he needed to shop around for cheaper

£1900 a month on a mortgage ridiculous, should have bought something cheaper !

Why didn't the OP think of this!