To be fed up of being on a good income but always skint?

[Justonemorecurlywurly]

I know I’m going to get flamed, lots of “boo-hoo, poor you”, and that there are people far worse off but -

Our household income (family of 4) is roughly £110-120k. DH earns about £100k of that, I’m self employed and part time so my income fluctuates. I think that’s pretty good money but it feels like we can never afford to do anything.

No holiday for 2 years.
1 car
Very few clothes
Modest house

If after paying bills, we ever buy something non-essential like a meal out, or maybe one or two items of new clothes, birthday present, that’s it, we’re out of money for the month. And we have no savings. It’s ridiculous!

We did try to move a few years back but couldn’t afford it so remortgaged instead to extend the house a little. We got the best deal we could and borrowed only as much as we were comfortable with (even though it meant we couldn’t do as much work as we needed). But unfortunately we made a mistake fixing the new mortgage for only two years and when that time was up, rates had shot to which has made our repayments considerably more expensive which really hasn’t helped.

I’m so fed up of it. I honestly feel like we felt so much better off about 10 years ago when we were earning A LOT less.

Does anyone else feel like this? Is it just that everything is so expensive now??

I know some people will say I should work full time but for reasons I won’t go into, I need to be available for my DC so me being p/t works much better for the whole family.

In exactly the same boat. We earn about the same as you, have lots of debt related to doing building work to our house, which still isn’t finished, and there’s nothing left at the end of the month. It’s shit.

And we do both work flat out in professional jobs, so there’s no chance of making any more. I earn about £52k and DH about £70k.

What are you left with after tax and paying your mortgage?

It is shit isn’t it? I really worry about what retirement will be like. DH has a good pension (but only because his company pay well into it) but I don’t have one at all and worry that his won’t go that far.

We earn similar to you. I would say we are comfortable and can still afford holidays. However I do worry about how we’ll raise the cash to replace our car (a second hand Ford!) when it dies in the next few years. I think everything is much more expensive than 10 years ago, and of course interest rates much higher but houses somehow still keep getting more and more expensive.

@Ponoka7 - you mean excluding all bills?

What's a "modest house mortgage" look like OP? As with most things I guess it depends on which area of the country you live in?

You have an income of £120k and a modest (what’s that) 4 beds ? House and assume low childcare if any as part time

what on Earth do you spend your money on

@Poppyseeds79 well, it went up to £300k when we remortgaged.

Your bills must be quite high. We have a similar income and our housing bill doubled when we moved a couple of years ago so things are definitely feeling tighter, it's feeling less worth it to go out for a meal when it's typically £70-£100 for four of us and there are some months where we are having to move money around to pay big unexpected bills like a garage bill or roof repair. However we are still saving most months, can afford 2 vehicles, can take holidays albeit often camping. I buy most clothes secondhand anyway but have a reasonable monthly clothing budget. Have you looked at the moneysavingexpert money makeover? Do a money makeover and potentially save £1,000s - Money Saving Expert

Yes. What do you have left to live on when you pay for your housing and essentials, to be able to work, such as childcare, commuting costs etc.

@Blondeshavemorefun 3 bed house. No childcare costs.
Outgoings are just the bills - car/insurances/council tax/food/energy and water costs are ridiculous….

What does the actual monthly breakdown look like OP?

I'm not negging just curious to how your spending works out 🙂

@Ponoka7 I think about £500. But it doesn’t take much in terms of an unexpected expense to wipe that out.

People who ask ridiculous questions like ‘what do you spend your money on’ with a tilty head and patronising tone- just a few priorities bills for you to understand
mortgage or rent- not at all unusual to be AT LEAST 900 pounds a month
council tax- mine is 170 a month but a lot of people pay 300 or more a month
gas and electric 300 a month
water 60
shopping at 150 minimum a week - 600 a month
that’s 2200 a month at the very least- almost all of my monthly wage. Now add in petrol to get to work. Home insurance life insurance broadband childcare if you have it…you won’t get much change from 4K a month that’s for sure

@Poppyseeds79 I actually have it all on a spreadsheet but can’t look at that now as it’s on my computer.
But some of the big bills are the mortgage (£1,900), energy (£270) council tax (£220) water (£120)

With most money threads - people say to write everything down so list your bills

what’s the take home from that salary

then

mortgage
council tax
gas
elec
wifi
water
tv license
sky/Netflix etx
phones
life in
buiding and contents
pension

car insurance
tax and mot
petrol costs
food
and pet food /insurance

prob missed something off but that’s the basics for most

Then clothes other day to day stuff presents birthdays

savings

@nutbrownhare15 thank you, I’ll look at that - love Martin Lewis.

Err, right. But OP already said no childcare so that takes out around £1500? Don't think anyone tilted their head?

OP said she's skint. People asked where does your money go? It's not a weird question to ask?

If OP said - we have no money each month as it all goes on outgoings. End of! ... Then you'd say oh right, sorry that sucks to be you then 🫠

That’s aimed at me lol

i can’t imagine earning over £100k and not having a holiday /save a few pounds a month

I don’t even earn half that a year, prob nearer a third £30k and only me and dd8 - yet manage to save for a holiday every year abroad and have very small savings

yes mortgage /rent are high

other household bills are a cost

op has no childcare costs which many do and why struggle

We have to put £4200 into our joint account just to cover mortgage / bills. I feel more skint than ever but know we are fortunate really. @Justonemorecurlywurly living Costs are nuts.

@Blondeshavemorefun yes - if you’d told me a few years ago that our income would be this much, I would’ve thought we’d be living the high life. But it’s almost like the more we earn, the poorer we get! And we’ve got sweet FA to show for it!!

Yes @MellowPinkDeer I know that we are fortunate too - we can keep our family warm/clothed/fed etc when so many people can’t.

…and the work we had done on our house just wasn’t enough, no matter how hard I tried to stretch the budget. Not one room is finished and I feel overwhelmed by the work there is left to do that we will have to DIY…

@paulyispoorlymy lord who is paying ONLY £900 for a mortgage or rent? Mine is £1650 for a two bed flat and I'm on a single income.

My absolute essentials come to £2800 a month PLUS food PLUS travel and fuel. So what's that, £3300 a month just to get to work basically to then pay the bills? Just for me. And before anyone asks my only subscription is with ads Netflix.

I sympathise op.