To be fed up of being on a good income but always skint?

[Justonemorecurlywurly]

I know I’m going to get flamed, lots of “boo-hoo, poor you”, and that there are people far worse off but -

Our household income (family of 4) is roughly £110-120k. DH earns about £100k of that, I’m self employed and part time so my income fluctuates. I think that’s pretty good money but it feels like we can never afford to do anything.

No holiday for 2 years.
1 car
Very few clothes
Modest house

If after paying bills, we ever buy something non-essential like a meal out, or maybe one or two items of new clothes, birthday present, that’s it, we’re out of money for the month. And we have no savings. It’s ridiculous!

We did try to move a few years back but couldn’t afford it so remortgaged instead to extend the house a little. We got the best deal we could and borrowed only as much as we were comfortable with (even though it meant we couldn’t do as much work as we needed). But unfortunately we made a mistake fixing the new mortgage for only two years and when that time was up, rates had shot to which has made our repayments considerably more expensive which really hasn’t helped.

I’m so fed up of it. I honestly feel like we felt so much better off about 10 years ago when we were earning A LOT less.

Does anyone else feel like this? Is it just that everything is so expensive now??

I know some people will say I should work full time but for reasons I won’t go into, I need to be available for my DC so me being p/t works much better for the whole family.

It's your two SUVs on finance draining you lol

1. do a budget - review all cards/ bills/ outgoings for past 6 months.
2. look at whatever debt you have and interest rates on this. Tally how much per year interest you are paying.
3. look at how can get your expenditure for essentials - bills - lower. Use Martin Lewis or other site comparisons.
4. sign up for points cards, cash back etc.
5. food shop-use home delivery services - usually it’s only a few quid and stops any extras adding to food shop. Try to lower food shop bill to £400 a month - quickest way? Plant based diet. Reduce meat.
6. if you are good aT managing debt - take out 0% credit cards move any expenditure that is charging interest o to these to save money and start paying that debt off.
7. earn extra money via market research (have earnt in last 3-4k cash per year)
8. look to save 10% across all outgoings - aka c £700 per month to start off with.

‘Extravagant’ is relative. If you can’t afford it and are attempting to then it’s extravagant for your income.

OP couldn’t afford to take out more on the house and do the extension – not comfortably at least – and that’s why her mortgage payments are now eating into their disposable income. Doing Up a ‘doer upper’ is indeed extravagant when you don’t have the money to but are attempting it.

The alternative is not doing an extension and not doing up the house. Live with the 80s bathroom and kitchen and have your kids share rooms if you’d rather more holidays and meals out and you don’t want to work more hours.

As I say, I am generally of the mindset that everyone is entitled to feel disappointed at the income crunch. Times are tough, but it’s off that the OP says ‘we’ve got sweet FA to show for it’ – I wouldn’t call having a 3 bed home in London which you have extended ‘sweet FA’.

know - I KNOW - that there are people far worse off and I’m lucky in many ways, but those people who have half our income - would you not expect - as I did when we earned less - to feel fairly comfortable on our income?

It depends on how much is left after essential expenses.

Your bills are: mortgage - £1,900, energy - £270, council tax - £220, water - £120, car insurance - £58, car - £350.

Maybe £150 for TV licence, phone bills and petrol?

£3,168 for all bills and petrol.

Your combined take home is roughly £5.7K per month. £700 a month (roughly) for food so that's nearly £2K disposable - where's that money going?

• Lived here 13 years - house cost £240k when we bought it, very affordable repayments then but as I said, interest rates shot up after our remortgage deal ended and so they are very high now

This is a bit disingenuous though, yes interest rates shot up in a very short space of time but this should have largely impacted people who bought much more recently than 13 years ago!

You started with a mortgage of £215k nearly a decade and a half ago, with much of that being in almost no interest so you must have borrow upwards of £150k to still have a mortgage of £300k now.

Again it’s all choices, it’s one thing to say ‘oh it’s just a modest 3 bed terrace it’s nothing extravagant’ but a terrace on my street is 1m so while it doesn’t seem extravagant is it to most incomes. And then to spend £150k borrowing for an extension certainly does put it into the extravagant category.

£115,000 p.a. works out at over £2200 per week. You must take expensive items for granted.

@Snakebite61 what?

Someone earning 115k would take home £1400 a week. Is it your maths that is bad or that you don't understand tax?

Still no real explanation for the large gap between between income & expenditure.

People have less income with the same expenditure but have 2 kids in nursery and are managing reasonably & go on holidays

Your lack of a full approx breakdown hints at the real reason you are 'skint'.

Ok. Your monthly TH is about £6k. 50% of this are your basic mortage/bills/ car lease costs.

what I’d advise is looking into detail at the remaining 3k spend axeoss thr beloe

Fuel
road tax
home insurance
contents insurance
food / groceries
internet / phone / tv subscriptions
childcare costs
clothing
cleaners / cleaning
gardening costs
hobbies / clubs/ miscellaneous
weekend trips out etc
medical/ prescriptions
glasses/ contacts
DIY costs / minor fixes etc
socialising
birthdays / occasions
school costs - trips etc (or are you kids at private school?)
loans
credit cards

pension
savings

You neee to find a way to release 10% of your outgoings or earn 10% extra to get some breathing space in your finances. This will deliver c £7k per annum extra. Maybe for a while no more hols abroad but depending where you live, you can Deffo find ways to have good breaks (I live in Brighton for main reason have access to the downs and sea - anytime within 10 mins.) there are ways to increae inckme (market research - about six firms and you’ll need to be fast to get into groups - is great for parents as in the main these are now all online.) find ways to save across all the mad little subscriptions btw you and husband that are probably sitting on iPhone / Apple/ google. Find ways to cut anything you pay interest on to 0% deals. Open a bank account that you can use as a dummy account and access the 200 poind new account bonus that pop up every few months. Cut bills - be militant - call up companies - haggle on the phone. EG our interest was £55 reduced to now £24 a month for 4 of us, incl me wfh on video calls all day. (No tv packages). We but tv packages as ans when we want to see something specific - loads cheaper. Take advantage of free trial subscriptions and keep using them. Always have 3 current accounts too - one for all your essential DDS, one just for basic stuff, one dummy. Use credit cards for shopping etc and get points (like Amex). Always pay off each month. You will be surprised just how much you can cut/ save across bills // outgoings. Good luck!

Wow your mortgage is quite high, hopefully you can remortgage at a lower rate soon?

It is but also depends on how many years left vs amount / interest rate. I pay just over 2500 pcm on a 8 year mortage for a spenny new home, we are trying to be mortage free asap so will see in 3 years of still feel the same ! ;)

Literally impossible unless you are doing interest only not repayment. Do you mean your home is 390k instead? Not that you've borrowed that amount?

Days later and the OP still hasn't posted a FULL breakdown of their I&E. No one can advise fully until they do. And the fact they haven't, speaks volumes

I know there are eleven billion threads like this (as PP said), but I think it's a sign of times how disillusioned lot of people feel. I'm also fed up with hearing the phrase "cut your cloth" because lot of people, well, shouldn't need to. Yes, there are people who don't budget well, and yes, there are impulsive shoppers and people who can't save and that's a different thing - but having a bit of budget flex for fun things in life should be normal if you have a decent salary. I'm always irked by my mum who keeps telling my younger sister to stop going out so much, because it doesn't matter how much she does or doesn't - her salary won't ever buy her a house or even a small flat where she lives. Her monthly savings can't keep up with the rising costs. And she is in a professional job with a decent salary.

The truth is that my parents, who were immigrants and completely unqualified, were able to build a great life for themselves in the early 80s as boomers. They have assets, big house and are finally accepting that they might need to help my sister up the property ladder cause no amount of giving up boozy brunches will do it (and they are in a position to do so, which is lucky - but just goes to show that times are very different). I have a smaller house, less kids and less savings than my parents did at my ages, yet I am better qualified and in a better job than either of my parents. So is my DH, and although we bring in a good salary, the cost of living is so high that it's kicking us in the balls. We are doing ok, and can afford small luxuries - and a holiday each year, at least so far - but I started off in my early 20s working hard and studying 10+ years so that I COULD be in a position of having money to spend. And I feel like I got a bit of a shite end of the deal. I worked so I could have decent money for things like popping to the pub for after-work drinks, buying organic produce and buying a pair of shoes just because I liked them. I save each month and I don't waste money, but I also hate that after years of training and working I'm still having to look at a spreadsheet to see if I should buy that new bedding set or not. I realise that reading this, it might come across bitter, but really, I'm just angry and peeved - more for lots of my friends than me, even.

It's absolutely ok to feel disappointed as to where you/we are at the moment. Just because you're not destitute doesn't mean life is joyful.

Lol at the people that think they need to spend 2 weeks in Greece as a family holiday

Kids are expensive, and they won't appreciate Greece. Go spend a few days in Cornwall instead.

Of course they haven't. Can't be arsed. Exactly the attitude that's causing them difficulty financially

@Pigtailsandall that post is far too sensible!

Lol at anyone who thinks a holiday in Cornwall is cheap. We did two trips a few years back, one to Devon and the other to Turkey. Turkey was cheaper overall. CoL means UK is even more expensive now

That works for Turkey but why are other more comparable european countries much cheaper than a home Holiday? they went through the same CoL crisis.

We are renting a gite in the Dordorgne, even with car travel/ferry, its still 50% cheaper than Cornwall & likely much better weather and locals that don't hate you!

More so if you factor far cheaper parking & eating out costs.

💯 this. I think my parents would keel over if they knew how much I earn. My life is very far away from the life that salary equivalent would’ve got you when they were my age

Income is only one part of the equation. The other half being outgoings. Looking at one half without considering the other is useless.

for example, I have and income of about £35k. I have savings and can have, within reason, whatever I want/need. Because my outgoings are minimal. Utilities,mainly. The other two adults I live with (relations) pay for food, and upkeep of our home. For big household items, I put my share in.

The state has chosen to target this income bracket for some reason - on child benefit, no personal tax allowance, probably 9% student loan tax for many, no 30 free hours for 9 month year olds just 15 free hours on the same basis as asylum seekers get for three year olds, freezing of tax bands. I even saw in today's press suggestions higher earner might have to pay even more for gas and electricity than they currently do.

I always worked full time so we had 2 full time salaries coming in and that did end to pay off in our case. The state is taxing those on £70k before tax a lot - highest tax burden in 70 years. Those who also pay school fees for 2 children at day school now have an extra £10k a year tax too (VAT on school fees) because they dare to put their children before their drug habit or expensive car.

We are probably coming to a point where there is nothing more to take from that group and in my view we should cut the state right back.

It isn't cheap, especially if you live far away. But ofc there's Scotland , Wales etc. But I think people over estimate the value of their kids sitting on a beach in Cyprus in the sun for 2 weeks Vs a a long weekend doing something in the UK. People are just tasteless lol