To be fed up of being on a good income but always skint?

[Justonemorecurlywurly]

I know I’m going to get flamed, lots of “boo-hoo, poor you”, and that there are people far worse off but -

Our household income (family of 4) is roughly £110-120k. DH earns about £100k of that, I’m self employed and part time so my income fluctuates. I think that’s pretty good money but it feels like we can never afford to do anything.

No holiday for 2 years.
1 car
Very few clothes
Modest house

If after paying bills, we ever buy something non-essential like a meal out, or maybe one or two items of new clothes, birthday present, that’s it, we’re out of money for the month. And we have no savings. It’s ridiculous!

We did try to move a few years back but couldn’t afford it so remortgaged instead to extend the house a little. We got the best deal we could and borrowed only as much as we were comfortable with (even though it meant we couldn’t do as much work as we needed). But unfortunately we made a mistake fixing the new mortgage for only two years and when that time was up, rates had shot to which has made our repayments considerably more expensive which really hasn’t helped.

I’m so fed up of it. I honestly feel like we felt so much better off about 10 years ago when we were earning A LOT less.

Does anyone else feel like this? Is it just that everything is so expensive now??

I know some people will say I should work full time but for reasons I won’t go into, I need to be available for my DC so me being p/t works much better for the whole family.

Well you're spending it on something! We earn less than half that amount, have at least 1 foreign holiday and 1 week in the UK a year, sometimes more, run 1 car and have a 3 bedroom house. We do budget carefully but still have plenty to buy clothes, nice food etc and we still save at least £500 a month.If your income is £120k and you can't live on it then something must be draining your account. Have you a budget list you can post?

Well I'm guessing you mean your income is 120k before taxes, so after taxes and NI that would be about 75k or about 6k per month.

So your mortgage is probably 1100
Food for the family would be around 800
Insurance(s) and vehicle payments 900
Utilities probably around 300
Phones and Internet 200
Credit cards id guess around 500

I've not even tapped into all the possible expenses but already were at 3k per month.

Not sure why I'm posting this, but some people on the thread seem to think if you earn 100k salary then all your problems will go away. That is so not true, more money more problems. Also when you have kids, the potential for accidents and unforseen expenses is massive.

I think OP should try earning more money. My advice would be either try the lottery or have a go at writing novels. Sex novels are really popular right now. Best of luck :)

Doesn't your council offer the possibility of getting help for budget-planning? Where I live there are social services where you can ask for that kind of coaching.

We are a family of four and we clear about 3.5k but have a £450 mortgage so about £500 less per month.

The things that add up are all the small things, gym classes, swimming, uniforms, broken kettle etc for first time for years we are not going abroad. I thought that would ease the financial stress but sadly not, that spare money has been absorbed with prices rises.

I said to shopworker few months ago that an item had gone up 25%. They said "it's only 50p" I replied "but my salary ain't going up 25%" and everything continues to go up. I think we are more in the proverbial than we think we are.

Have just seen your expenses - those aren’t too bad! It must be going elsewhere?? I’m a single parent with one child with a mortgage of £1200, £185 council tax, and earn £60k a year. I don’t get any extras only child benefit (£100 a month) yet I have plenty left over each month.

100k per year for a family of 4 isn’t a good income, it’s just enough to get by if you watch your every penny. Things have changed very much in the last 4 years and I think we’re all still just catching up to it and second guessing our money management skills instead of just realising how sh.. things really are. £100, 000 today is what £50,000 used to be in 2015

you might get flamed but the joseph rowntree foundation says for a family with 2 adults 2 kids needs £69k (after tax) to live OK in the uk a year now. That’s £100k a year pre tax. they mean OK as can afford living (odd meal out and a modest holiday once a year).

Id say though - it’s a luxury to have 1 earn that and 1 parent more at home. same boat here. HATE how much all bills have gone up vs none existant pay rises.

BUT considering most families earn far far less, I do wonder how on earth people are managing. UK is broken

Hi op,

it is your mortgage isn’t it. It is way too high and don’t leave any wiggle room hence you don’t have any wiggle room.

They don’t manage : they don’t eat, put heating on, buy clothes or/and shoes…etc

100k per year for a family of 4 isn’t a good income, it’s just enough to get by if you watch your every penny.

Only on Mumsnet 🤣

I don’t know…according to @Spaceshiphaslanded it’s not too far from what the Joseph Rowntree foundation is saying and it makes sense to me.

I’m on half that but I’m a single person household so I can imagine a family of 4 need a lot more. I’m not penny pinching but also don’t own my own home and don’t run a car.

I’m fortunate enough to pay £700 rent for a 2 bed which is good nowadays. Had I still been paying £1500 for private rent it would be a lot harder.

I think a lot depends on housing and /or childcare costs. My salary goes a lot further because I live in affordable housing.

Things have changed very much in the last 4 years and I think we’re all still just catching up to it and second guessing our money management skills instead of just realising how sh.. things really are

Agree. The low wage economy coupled with lack of affordable housing is awful and we just seem to suck it up here @MayNov

I was looking at remote jobs earlier and there was this company recruiting globally advertising a role for $120K. But then there was the caveat that they adjust the salary according to industry standard of the country they hire in and my heart sank. Based on the role that would work out about $60K in the UK! I hate how greedy and exploitative large companies are.

What’s your house worth approximately if you don’t mind me asking. On the outside of this our joint income is about 1/4 of yours but we have no mortgage. However we live in a small terrace. I guess that’s the choice we’ve made and I don’t like our house much at all but can live with it.
My (admittedly limited) observation is that often families are wanting the perfect house quite early on, something that in the past you’d really have to work towards. I’d love a semi or detached house in a lovely area but we can’t change our current income due to extenuating circumstances . I think if you live in a great house then things will be tight for a few years unless you’re very wealthy. And that applies to London as a ‘great’ house there can often just be a terrace in a good area.

Just slightly hyperbolic.

My costs are the same but wage is nearer 2k, not 4k! It’s hard.

Well, this post went a bit mad!

Just to clarify a few things:

• My house is a 3 bed semi- not a 4 bed. Small garden, not a great road - far from a dream house
• Lived here 13 years - house cost £240k when we bought it, very affordable repayments then but as I said, interest rates shot up after our remortgage deal ended and so they are very high now
• I’m sorry but the suggestion that I sell up and move miles away, removing my kids from their schools and friends for a cheaper house is not really realistic - who can just uproot their whole life like that??
• I’m not “moaning” about having one car - I don’t want or need a second - I was just making the point I don’t have multiple cars
• Yes, out car is expensive - £350p/m - not flashy (4 yr old Skoda). Yes, I could get an older, cheaper one but we owned bangers for years and they always cost a fortune in unexpected repairs so I prefer the security of knowing it’s not going to go wrong
• car insurance is more now than we’ve paid in years (£700 p/a) mainly due to high car theft in our area
• neither of us has a coke habit 🙄
• we shop in Aldi - anything we can’t get in there we get in Sainsbury’s
• I earn up to £20k but it’s really not been that much for a while - more like about £700 p/m at the moment.
• I know - I KNOW - that there are people far worse off and I’m lucky in many ways, but those people who have half our income - would you not expect - as I did when we earned less - to feel fairly comfortable on our income?

If your remortgage deal has just ended, you should be able to get a better rate now that mortgage rates are going down rather than staying on a standard rate.

Your water bill is really high. Our water bill is less than £60 pcm (on average) and that's with 4 adults - 2 of whom have really long showers.

On the face of it, with a 6 figure gross household income, there must be inefficiency/wastage if you really feel "skint." With a total household income of £110K (the lower of the range you state) assuming a £100K/10K split, that's a net income of £6.5K+ pcm excluding pension contributions (which you can control the amount normally).

You've given your major outgoings which total £2.5K so even with other normal outgoings - what are you spending £4k on?
House renovations are a luxury option!

Lived here 13 years - house cost £240k when we bought it, very affordable repayments then but as I said, interest rates shot up after our remortgage deal ended and so they are very high now

But it's not just interest rates that have caused your mortgage to increase, you must have borrowed a lot extra for you to end up with a £300k mortgage after 13 years, so more than for 'a little' extension?

Between 2012 and 2022 ish mortgage interest rates were virtually nothing so you would have paid off a good chunk of the mortgage - eg if you started with a £220k mortgage it should be down to about £150k by now, but is double that?

It looks like, even after accounting for food etc, you have at least £2k+ pm unaccounted for. To get through all your income, you must be spending a lot of money each month on non essentials. So I don't understand how you feel like you can't afford a meal out, new clothes, a holiday etc. What are you buying with all that money - that's what you have to work out.

https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/

https://www.charityjob.co.uk/

I think you should increase your earnings to cover your shortfall, track and reduce your expenditure. The above link has lots of remote roles which could help increase your earnings.

Also, look at selling items you no longer use to build up a small savings pot. Then start to overpay on debt rather than increase your expenditure by going on holidays.

you might get flamed but the joseph rowntree foundation says for a family with 2 adults 2 kids needs £69k (after tax) to live OK in the uk a year now. That’s £100k a year pre tax. they mean OK as can afford living (odd meal out and a modest holiday once a year).

That's interesting

Something else to consider OP, are you charging enough for your self employed work? How do you compare with local market rates and have you increased your prices in line with inflation?

Honestly, a budget is primarily what you need. Dave Ramsay’s baby steps helped me structure goals (I just ignore any religious stuff he says).

There’s so many replies already you’re unlikely to see this but we were in the same boat - very good income, but didn’t have much to show for it bar a ton of debt, lots of BNPL (I had to put kids Xmas on Very accounts each year), very rare holidays, and no fancy car or house.

You know what the problem was, we had separate bank accounts, didn’t have a budget and had no mindfulness over our money.

The best thing that ever happened to us was my husband had a serious health scare - he had a brain haemorrhage. He’s ok now, but while he was in hospital I had to face up to what life would be like if he died, or even if he was just incapacitated (stroke etc). I couldn’t afford to pay our bills/debts on my wage alone, and I didn’t have any legal right to access his money. I promised that if he got through we would make big changes. We earned too much to be that poor, and had no idea where all our wages were going (turned out Tesco and take out and frivolous spending - it’s too easy to fritter away money and it doesn’t matter how much you earn you can easily spend more if not thinking about it).

We made HUGE changes. It’s been just over a year and we have joint accounts, a budget, and have paid off over £30k of debt so far. We are about 6 months away from being consumer debt free. Listening to Dave Ramsay podcast/total money makeover book helped learn a lesson on how to structure my goals with an emergency fund (I just ignore his religious stuff) and budgeting through 7 baby steps. There’s a great U.K. Facebook page called Dave Ramsay baby steps for U.K. that I joined and that helps ‘translate’ the steps for U.K. market.
You can do this. Get some control over your income : ) good luck.

We bought a completely rundown 3 bedroom, 1930's semi in Zone 4, South London for £550k in 2017. We had a £50k deposit and the mortgage was £2050 p/m. We had to remortgage last year and that jumped to £2600 p/m.

Buying a clapped-out starter home on the outskirts of London is hardly an 'extravagant lifestyle'.

What's the alternative for a family of four? Private rented accommodation? Moving beyond Zone 4/Oyster travel zone and paying hundreds a month for travel into London? Moving to Scotland?

I completely agree with previous posters that have noted how many Mumsnetters are living in a fantasy world or are oblivious to how the world has changed in the past 20 years.

I completely agree with previous posters that have noted how many Mumsnetters are living in a fantasy world or are oblivious to how the world has changed in the past 20 years.

It's because so many posters are on their 50s and 60s