To be fed up of being on a good income but always skint?

[Justonemorecurlywurly]

I know I’m going to get flamed, lots of “boo-hoo, poor you”, and that there are people far worse off but -

Our household income (family of 4) is roughly £110-120k. DH earns about £100k of that, I’m self employed and part time so my income fluctuates. I think that’s pretty good money but it feels like we can never afford to do anything.

No holiday for 2 years.
1 car
Very few clothes
Modest house

If after paying bills, we ever buy something non-essential like a meal out, or maybe one or two items of new clothes, birthday present, that’s it, we’re out of money for the month. And we have no savings. It’s ridiculous!

We did try to move a few years back but couldn’t afford it so remortgaged instead to extend the house a little. We got the best deal we could and borrowed only as much as we were comfortable with (even though it meant we couldn’t do as much work as we needed). But unfortunately we made a mistake fixing the new mortgage for only two years and when that time was up, rates had shot to which has made our repayments considerably more expensive which really hasn’t helped.

I’m so fed up of it. I honestly feel like we felt so much better off about 10 years ago when we were earning A LOT less.

Does anyone else feel like this? Is it just that everything is so expensive now??

I know some people will say I should work full time but for reasons I won’t go into, I need to be available for my DC so me being p/t works much better for the whole family.

Must be interest only and then still probably not right?!?

They don’t. It’s clearly an interest only mortgage. At 440pm it would take 70+ years to pay off 390k and that’s with 0 interest. They will Never own their home. Mortgage broker has bent them over

You’re being ridiculous, OP. Our household income is about the same as yours and I wouldn’t dare be so blinkered as to claim we were skint. And that’s including childcare and a much higher mortgage than yours.

You have over £2k a month just from your husband’s salary after your bills are paid. If you can’t afford a holiday or to save some of it each month, you’re not really trying very hard at all.

Yeeeesssss. I hear you. I am so sick of any unexpected expense just throwing me off every time. Interest rate rises, energy bills rising, food bills rising, Vat on school fees (both will leave the private sector in a couple of years but I am clinging on until then to avoid disruption). But no significant pay rise.

I am just done.

My only consolation is that interest rates will come down eventually and that takes a lot of pressure off our mortgage, and when we renegotiate I am going to go interest only.

I feel your pain! There are a lot of people put there blaming you for not budgeting carefully, but I am totally with you. We are in a similar situation, our mortgage has gone up by a lot after Liz Truss' mini budget. We have 3 children, the eldest is at uni and we pay for their accommodation and living costs (tuition fees are paid from their student loan). The younger kids go to state school, but we pay for their extra curricular activities, daily commute to school etc. All the bills have gone up: council tax, utilities etc etc. We usually have one family holiday per year. We are not struggling, but definitely have to be more careful. We can't afford "luxuries" such as employing a cleaner, eating out, ordering Tesco delivery (we shop at Aldi now) any more. We both work full time and certainly never had so little disposable cash.

Same. Husband on just shy £100k and I earn £15k ish self employed. 3 kids. I don’t earn much but it balances out as this means we now pay no childcare. I pay no tax hardly/ No SL. I used to earn a bit more as part time teacher (now tutor) but was ‘thinly stretched’ due to husband’s busy job and shifts and me doing 90% of parenting and house stuff so this works better. It’s been a good move. If I earned more he would have to take a different role and earn less so would be same.

Anyway same as you. 10 years ago I thought in 10 years time we’d be living very comfy life as knew projected salaries as both government jobs. Just doesn’t stretch as far these days with COL.

Not pleading poverty. Can afford mortgage, bills, kids extra curricular such as piano and sports. UK holidays. No savings and nothing spare. We consider ourself good with money used to save more pre kids (11 years ago) when I was full time teacher and husband a medical student working occasional HCA shifts on weekends. Costs were predictable back then and smaller house/ cheaper rents and mortgage.

Crazy times/ economy. Feel bad for the many who can’t afford their basics and grateful I can. Grateful I could make the choice to earn little less (although has balanced with zero childcare cost) Still sucks! £100k house hold is not what it was 10 years ago for sure.

I have posted my budget up thread…I just don’t understand (unless your mortgage is extortionate) why you cannot save, I earn half and I can save and have holidays. Do you have massive car payments too? Where does 115k pa go?

You can't complain about being skint and paying for private schools. 🤷

Those who say they feel the same on similar wage know why they are feeling the pinch - uni fees -accommodation - private schools - holidays - activities - lessons

@Justonemorecurlywurly has a spare £2.5k + after paying mortgage bills food etc

but doesn’t know where that goes

so different

Well around 40% of the DH’s salary goes on tax and deductions for a start. It’s not 115k PA in cash.

But my point is it’s a lot more than 42k which was my wage that my budget was based on…

We are a family of four and have a water meter. Our monthly bill is £37.

I've just checked and we use an average of 313 litres per day.

Do you have a massive leak that you're unaware of?

Turn off all your taps and check the meter in the street and then check again in few hours time to see if it's moved.

2 adults 2 kids. My partner is on a special diet and I’m dairy free so alternatives cost more. Although I have tried I cannot get it lower so must be doing something wrong!

I don't know why people get so het up by these threads and say people are complaining or expecting you to feel sorry for them. They're having a moan and for them that's their feelings about the situation.
Personally I like reading how people manage or mismanage their money. I find it interesting.

As I said it my post we can afford holidays (nearly all UK) but sympathising with original poster that costs have gone wild and that 100k isn’t what it once was. Salaries have not gone up lots last 10 years and £100k does not go anywhere near as far as 10 years ago.

For us huge huge off takes in tax and pension. Husbands actual take home after all off takes is £4750 but he also has lots of professional costs to come from that take home (£200pm to professional bodies) and his job path means he cannot always live at home so we have some 6m/12m blocks where he spends 3+ nights a week away from home (£500 a month min) so need to pay for accommodation. Huge fuel costs. £300pm. Exams £2000 a pop. Mortgage £1750 since it went up. No CB as husbands salary went up. Used to get £200 per month.

Also we choose to give our children sporting/ music opportunities I guess we prioritise this over going abroad so that’s a choice. Saw you spend £50 a month. We’re way over as all 3 swim weekly, play instruments and do another sport or two each, Also food. Saw your budget and £300 on food a month seems very low when you must have 4 children judging by CB you get? Hats off to you if you feed a family of 6 healthily on that. We’re at £800 a month for food for 5 of us. Mixture Morrisons and Lidl. Husband and eldest son eat a lot 😂. As a household 5 lots of breakfast, packed lunch, tea, healthy snacks and we do tend to host play dates more as I can be around for the kids so that is all choice we often feeding an extra!

Like I said we’re not pleading poverty. Just previous generations of my husbands job role would be able to afford a lot more inc private school and hols abroad AND the things we chose to prioritise such as lots of healthy food, hobbies, family home.

I am grateful we’re not choosing between eating and paying bills but we are not rolling in it and when we save it invariably needs spending on something unexpected on house or car or whatever which is part of adult life and homeowner ship. So that’s why I say we don’t save. Not in debt other than mortgage and my SL.

It’s a fact our economy is much weaker and the £ not providing the lifestyle for UK citizens it once did.

I’m in Ireland where child benefit is a lot more and in general so are bills but I shop around and meal plan absolutely everything. I have two dc. Mine are swimming at an adequate level now so they just do sports and music
ds does rugby and football.
dd does camogie, Gaelic football and guitar.

my pay is post pension contributions also and I understand that your dh has a lot of work expenses, will that last for much longer?
Im a single parent with no maintenance but the dc do go to their dads 50% of the time but im paying a huge rent which is practically half my pay. It’s all relative I suppose.

Because when people on low incomes dare to complain (very rarely ime) they get told they should have worked harder in life and that minimum wage means a minimum lifestyle and how they should be grateful to all the high earners that subsidise them.

It is frustrating when you are a low earner and other posters keep insisting you get so much UC that it is similar to high earners.

Also see all the whining whenever minimum wage goes up. It is fine for the CEO to earn £500000k a year but the whole company will collapse if the cleaners earn an extra 50p an hour and WON'T ANYONE THINK OF THE PRICE RISES!

Wow yer that’s much more generous CB, didn’t realise got more in Ireland, that the Republic of Ireland or NI? To be fair as it should be as the current amount in England is not much. Lots people not getting it now too. Also £50 a month for all those hobbies is amazing. Food if it’s 3 of you half the week and 1 the other half of the week I can totally see how £300 does for food as effectively you’re then providing meals for 2 across each week vs our 5 so we’re prob spending very similar per person per meal.

These costs will carry on for us for another 3 years. Been 10 already 🙈. Then hope things will ease up but not counting on it as we thought 5 years ago things would be more comfortable now. Think our economy likely to carry on getting worse.

I think the point is everyone is feeling it whatever their budget. People on bigger budgets can manage and weather the storm more. Still impacts their luxuries and expectations vs where they thought they would be 10+ years ago when forward planning.

Life is expensive in 2025 and I have a horrible feeling we’ve not even felt the worst of it yet 🫣

So I do sympathise with original poster that 100k you don’t feel rich. A lot of people don’t know how much is taken off in tax etc just look ant the gross income. Also one earner ant £100k dat less take home than x2 £50k etc. Obviously sympathise a whole lot more with people not eating or homeless or far worse off.

Good luck to us all!

Sorry post meant to be a reply to YourChirpyFatball but something got lost.

Not sure on the exact amount as it’s a bursary spread between the three children and wasn’t given as a percentage. Two children receive 15% scholarships, one is on 20%. It should be around £27K per child per year but we pay just over £36K in total.

We are exactly the same it’s ridiculous!! Everything gone up. Our electric bills are ridiculous in winter with an air source heat pump, mortgage gone up, car, food shopping. Dont get me started on people coming in on boats getting everything for free!

Well they’re not getting air source heat pumps and cars for free are they? They’re getting fed and kept somewhat warm and that’s about it…

@NobodyKnowsTiddlyPom wow 36k for 3 as opposed to 81k. I didn't think schools were so generous on that income & often took mortgage amount into account. Thanks for sharing.

I think you need to sit down and write a list of all outgoings. Main payments like mortgage council tax water, loans
then move to things you have to have but can change. car, car insurance, phone broadband, credit cards, catalogues, store cards
then move to frivolities gym memberships, mobile phones, kids activities, coffee shop runs.
you’d be amazed where your money goes.
look at your food shopping habits do you have to Heinz when 1tin of that gets you 3 of a cheaper brand?
if you want holidays it means cutting back.
we live on 2 wages at minimum wage, now that’s shit! It’s all about cutting your cloth, and I have 2 holidays abroad a year, 2 weeks and a week never spend over £4,000 all inclusive and spends. It’s all about budgeting. We do have the odd long haul but now of an age where a 6 hour flight is max.

Our combined income is only £70000 and we manage to save about £1000 a month. We do only have a 3 bed semi, but it is in a pricey commuter town in the south east. I can only imagine that once earning over £100000 you are taxed a lot more and must have a large house/high mortgage. Maybe try making an excel spreadsheet to record all outgoings and make a budget. We have three kids under 5, so I suppose they don't need that much at the moment, so that helps!