To think that there's isn't a stigma against being a teetoller?

[feryon98]

I've lived in Ireland and the UK which have a big drinking culture. I have heard a few people say that not consuming alcohol carries a stigma but I don't know whether I'd agree with that. Sure, people may look at you as bit weird but I don't think the stigma compares to drinking excessively or even being an alcoholic.

My sister is a therapist who worked with teenagers told me that several girls and boys she knew had a parent(s) who consuming excessively and some even during the day. Most of them never made a fool of themselves but the teens were always embarrassed having their friends come over and hang out if the parents were drunk. Conversely, I had parents who never drank and was comfortable sharing it with friends/coworkers.

I think alcohol is acceptable depending on the set/setting and showing a dependence on it is still very much stigmatised moreso than not drinking at all.

I can remember when being tea total was tied up with religion - my father was brought up a Methodist and in theory they were tea total. But he drank alcohol as an adult but not to excess at all.
And I think when I was growing up tea total people were seen as very straight laced and boring.
I think it's totally different now with many people chosing not to drink for many reasons , including health. And in theory not drinking is socially acceptable though in some circles they will be considered as kill joys.
I think heavy drinking is common and it's seen as normal now for women to drink , even heavily. But even among heavy drinkers people who are considered to have an alcohol dependency are stigmatised and looked down on. And called " alkies". I think heavy drinkers are anxious to still think of themselves as social drinkers and really won't admit to having a dependency.
So actually I've given a long answer but basically agree with you that drinking is seen as acceptable but showing dependence is still stigmatised.

I get sick of all the people over the years who see my non drinking as a personal challenge, and that they know the perfect alcoholic drink that will convert me. And all the ones who assume I must be boring. And the ones who think it means I'm a recovering alcoholic. I just really don't like the taste.

I think its easier now not to drink then it use to be. I feel like 10 years ago everyone drank unless pregnant or a recovering alcoholic as now I think its a lot more common and accepted

We were discussing this last night. Friend doesn’t drink and hasn’t for years. Initially he just cut down to special occasions but people would constantly try to persuade him to drink so it was easier to say “I don’t drink” than “I drink sometimes” but he gets a real mix of views and many quite unkind, baffled at how he can ever have a good night out. Definitely feels that for some people they see it negatively, or assume he’s an ex alcoholic.

Another mum from primary gave up alcohol and wrote a preachy fb post and went on about it on nights out when others in the group, respectful of her choice, chose themselves to drink. Like a vegan trying to make everyone else vegan. Friend I mention in first paragraph isn’t like that at all and is the willing taxi driver and wonderful friend.

I drink socially but I don’t think there is much, if any, stigma to not drinking now for most people. It’s quite rare to have a get together these days where everyone is drinking alcohol - there’s always someone who is driving, or who just doesn’t want to.

I’ve cut back too - I often alternate alcoholic drinks with non-alcoholic alternatives, and if it’s midweek and just a couple of drinks with a meal, I’ll almost always go for soft drinks.

You'll still get the odd idiot who thinks it’s an issue but for most people, I don’t think it’s view negatively or as something unusual.

I don't drink but I don't class myself a teetotal as I make my Christmas cake and marzipan with Amarretto ( the alcohol evaporates I know)

But I get a bit 🤔 when people try to convince me to have a drink ('cos I don't know my own bloody mind at 58l

I don't drink , no ones ever judged. I've had people ask if there's a reason but in general chat. And no there's not. I don't enjoy it. Seldomly I will have a shandy that's it. I'm happy and I enjoy myself the same as anyone else who's drinking. Dh doesn't drink either him for the same reasons , just don't enjoy it.
When we were younger we did. And the thought of a hangover just puts me off anyway

I think it’s very normal now not to drink, but that “our” generation (by which I mean gen x and millennials) generally have a more complex relationship with alcohol. I know, my mum for example used to get stressed by people trying to persuade her to drink

in my view, not drinking isn’t uncommon or judged but there are some drinking sub cultures that have rituals that are hard to infiltrate if you are not a drinker. Things that spring to mind are companies where relationships and business are forged in a pub or bar, or sports teams that celebrate in the club bar, that sort of thing. These things sound simple to swerve but they’re like the smokers corner back in the 90s- invisible places where thugs happen

My friend who is still a big partier and drinker got weirdly put out by her friend wanting to do 100 days no drink. I think it says more about my friend than the person who wanted a break. Drinkers dont like non drinkers as it highlights their problem.

I think it depends entirely on your social circle. In my 40s, young children, lots of us health conscious and just more tired, minimal stigma. In my 20s it would have been hard for someone to join in socially without drinking. I look back with a pang of cringe about that.

I read lots of threads on here from women who are wondering how on earth they can hide the fact they are bewly pregnant at an upcoming work do/party/hen/wedding. I am disappointed that it's such a big deal.

I don’t think there’s stigma but this is definitely a thing. People just can’t seem to believe you just dont like the taste. “Ooh try this one” or “have you tried x cocktail”

if you have to mask the taste of the alcohol it’s probably not that nice and I really like Diet Coke so I’ll just drink that

I am not a teetotaller but so rarely drink I might as well be. All my friends accept this and I have never experienced any stigma. This may be because I choose my friends wisely or that I don't care what people think so take no notice of their reaction. Probably a bit of both.
If someone does not want to drink alcohol then don't. Its nothing to do with anyone else.

I think that these days not drinking is very common. No one thinks much of it. Even on a night out one person who is driving will often abstain.

On the other hand, I find drugs seem more common than ever, including people driving under the influence.

I don't drink and haven't done for 10 years. I just say I don't drink alcohol if anyone asks. I've never felt pressured to drink.

I think the availability of low-or-no alcohol versions of alcoholic drinks help too - I do like beer or lager, and some of them are indistinguishable from the full alcohol version.

I think how being a teetotaler vs. a social drinker vs. a heavy drinker/alcoholic is viewed just depends on what group you're is doing the judging. A teetotaller probably won't feel all that comfortable among a heavy drinking crowd and a heavy drinker won't feel all that comfortable around those who drink very little alcohol or none at all. It's also not necessary to announce or make a big deal out of what you're drinking or not drinking.

You could be me. I drink occasionally but never to excess ever since a couple of occasions in my late teens. I didn't like the resultant hangover so choose not to go there again! I'm 53 now, never felt any stigma around it.

There is stigma, or maybe judgement, from my husbands family. Being a non drinker is apparently boring🙄. Personally I think framing a good night around how much is drunk says a lot more about them than me.

Much easier to not drink around younger people. Seems common and accepted.

I don't drink and I'm surprised when anyone feels the need to made a comment on a personal preference choice. Like PP said, there's now zero alcohol beers etc which shows how mainstream it is. I don't identify as 'sober' however and admittedly I find being around drunk people a bit boring (depending on the environment!)

I’m on medication which it’s advisable not to drink on. The number of people who try to persuade me that it will be fine is really annoying.

I think saying your parents don't drink it's quite different to going to a party and not drinking. There's obviously no stigma to sitting in your living room with a cup of tea, but going to a 'drinks' party and only having lemonade is refusing to enter into the spirit of things and may attract some disapproval.

I don't drink...not totally tee total but regularly go months and months without a drink.

I absolutely detest drinking culture....I especially cannot bear the whole prosecco o'clock shite thats particularly aimed at women.

"I can remember when being tea total was tied up with religion - my father was brought up a Methodist and in theory they were tea total. But he drank alcohol as an adult but not to excess at all."

As a Welsh Methodist, I can tell you that none of my four grandparents drank and I wouldn't have been seen dead drinking in front of them. However, all generations below them do drink.

I've been tee-total my whole life. I've occasionally had people ask me why I don't drink - I'm happy to answer and they just seem genuinely curious. Only had one person try to pressure me to drink, which just pissed me off.

However, I move in circles where no one is a big drinker and drinking to excess is judged. I have met several people who move in much heavier drinking circles (work culture etc seems to encourage it) who have confided in me that they don't want to drink as much as they do but feel pressured to do so. So I suppose the stigma depends on where you live, age, social group and job.

I have several friends who don’t drink. They enjoy going to pubs but don’t drink. Other than some mild curiosity asking them why they don’t drink, no one cares really.

Being a piss head definitely attracts more comments snd judgement.