To think that there's isn't a stigma against being a teetoller?

[feryon98]

I've lived in Ireland and the UK which have a big drinking culture. I have heard a few people say that not consuming alcohol carries a stigma but I don't know whether I'd agree with that. Sure, people may look at you as bit weird but I don't think the stigma compares to drinking excessively or even being an alcoholic.

My sister is a therapist who worked with teenagers told me that several girls and boys she knew had a parent(s) who consuming excessively and some even during the day. Most of them never made a fool of themselves but the teens were always embarrassed having their friends come over and hang out if the parents were drunk. Conversely, I had parents who never drank and was comfortable sharing it with friends/coworkers.

I think alcohol is acceptable depending on the set/setting and showing a dependence on it is still very much stigmatised moreso than not drinking at all.

I suppose it depends on who you socialise with, personally never met anyone that is bothered and I am genuinely not bothered what others do either! There used to be a bit more when I was growing up as the majority drank on nights out and being 'straight edge' was a bit of a movement. Now people tend to do drugs instead so less pressure.

This, and if you’ve stopped drinking they’re even worse. ‘This isn’t like you!’ It makes it a lot harder to keep your resolve.

The only time I've ever had an issue with it is with the gap between my dc pregnancies. I got so many 'nudge nudge' and pointed looks at my belly if I ordered a lemonade with family or friends because they assumed I was pregnant again. The worst thing was I was actually but had an MMC but they didn't know that.

I'm not teetotal, I have a cupboard with quite a few bottles of alcoholic drinks that I've been given for birthdays and Christmas. Some times in the evenings I think to myself I could have a glass of something, then I think or I could have a cup of coffee, so I go and put the kettle on. I haven't actually had an alcoholic drink for about two years I am not that keen on the taste.

Equally, why would they need to know? I don’t see why anyone would announce it or why anyone else thinks it’s their business.

It probably depends on the people you socialise with.
I don't drink alcohol, simply don't like the taste of any alcoholic drink. I've never once been asked why or been under pressures to consume alcohol. Come to think of it I've always been the only non-drinker unless another woman was pregnant or breastfeeding or if someone was on a dry January experiment or maybe someone being ill or on medication where alcohol is not allowed. I've never met a reformed alcoholic to my knowledge. So I guess there aren't people who don't drink as a habit that I've socialised with. Not one person has ever made any weird comments or made me feel out of place.
This stigma idea it's all made up in my experience.

I hardly drink. I can't remember ever deciding on this path but I do know that everytime I've been out & people have tried to force me to drink has pushed me further into being dry.

I think being teetotal is the new veganism.

I think often there is an assumption that someone who is completely teetotal has previously been a problem drinker.

This is my experience too. Only really been asked about it once - I'd been nominated and for something and won a prize. They usually give alcohol but gave me chocolate instead. (They didn't think I drank alcohol but wanted to check)

My son's at university and doesn't drink. Doesn't seem to be that unusual or an issue, which is in stark contrast to my uni days in the early 90s when getting absolutely plastered was standard student behaviour. i think it's refreshing.

Depends who you are around - I'm a very light drinker - it wasn't much of an issue even in 90s Uni envrionmnet as was around many who also drank lightly or were non drinkers due to religion.

My IL had a massive problem with it - huge - to point I stopped drinked all together round them as so many spiked drinks insisting they weren't or so much pushing to drink or buying and then social pressure to drink -from them and their mates. They've either got used to me or more likely their social circle and them drink a heck of a lot less than a decade ago - night out they have a few halfs and they go out much less and drinks chosen are lower in alchol.

I think it's gotten easier to not drink - there's more non alcoholic choices.

Most of our friends, varying ages, drink little if no alcohol. I don't drink as I don't see the point in it. I think there are groups that have high consumptions, but I've never seen a stigma or negative approach to not drinking alcohol. I think marketeers push the idea that alcohol is sexy, but then that's what they're paid to do.

I don't think there's a stigma as such but that it is often something that makes a lot of drinkers feel really uncomfortable.

I’m Gen X in my 50’s and drank a lifetimes worth in my 20’s - it was definitely seen as “boring” to not drink to excess on most of our social events back in the late 80s/90s. There was def a social pressure to drink to “have a good night”.

Thank goodness that’s now changed - I can’t cope with hangovers any more! There’s much more acceptance of not drinking now I think - the mocktails/no alcohol versions have improved immensely which helps, and younger people are far more informed about their health than we ever were. My son and his friends go to the gym more than the pub for sure.

I think it really helps where I am in Scotland with a lower drink drive limit too. You say you’re driving, and everyone accepts it, there’s no pressure to risk having even one, as that means you could be over the limit. So (sensible) drivers just don’t drink at all in my area.

I think it’s really only heavy drinkers/dependent types who are left calling non drinkers “boring” or trying to persuade them to drink - as they don’t want to reflect on their own behaviour and consumption. Average drinkers never seem to have a problem with me having a soft drink. And we still have fun!

I haven't had an alcoholic drink in years and yes there still is a stigma around T-totalism. It's not as bad as it was but it's still there.

I don't mention it at all because I learned not to very quickly that if you say you don't drink alcohol you end up in a long conversation, challenge, or listening to someone's problems around alcohol.

Indeed, and newly-teetotal friends are just as annoying, judgy and preachy as newly-vegan friends are, in my experience!

Well, not if it's a tea party, but for a 'drinks' party, then, yes, that's what we're there for.

I'm 44 and didn't drink alcohol until I was 32. Still only drink light beer now. When I didn't drink nobody ever commented. In fact it was more "fair play to you ".

One of my friends was unsure how to describe non-drinking when doing OLD. She decided to say “choosing not to drink at the moment” which seemed to go down ok, but she was fearful that “teetotaller” may put people off

To clarify, I genuinely don't GAF if someone doesn't drink or if someone doesn't eat animal products, I just don't want to hear about it too much and definitely don't want someone glaring and whining or making snarky comments as I tuck into my steak and my second glass of wine. I've experienced such behaviour from vegans and teetotalers more than once.

I stopped drinking in my late 20s, mainly due to reflux and I developed a reaction to white wine. I had a lot of flack for it initially from the group I socialised with and later, when DS arrived, I suspect most of the new friends I made through school suspected that I was a recovering alcoholic. There does still appear to be an underlying stigma to T totallers.

I have a couple of friends who are currently trying to give up alcohol and making a huge deal out of it. I suspect that anyone who has to replace alcohol with alcohol free products does have a problem. I have never felt the need to go down that road.

I still enjoy the odd GnT but it’s probably over 12mnths since I had a drink. I’m happy to drink water or soft drinks when we go out, which isn’t very often. After my DH had a stroke he no longer enjoys alcohol so there doesn’t seem much point going to the pub.

I used to smoke, and attitudes to that habit are much more judgemental. Although a number of friends turned out to be secret smokers and we all still enjoy the odd sneaky fag. With the rapidly increasing popularity of weight loss jabs I suspect that eating will be the next tabu habit.

I use to drink a lot when I was younger and then one day decided that I would rather save my money and the calories, so stopped drinking. No one has ever questioned or made a big deal out of it. And when I do decide to have a drink, special occasions etc, again it’s never a big deal.

I can’t imagine a single person in my life that would even think to comment on it. Surround yourself with better people.

This is my experience too. And people I’ve known for 20 years still buy me Baileys/wine/prosecco ‘in case I fancy a treat’….. It’s fucking rude and really pisses me off. I haven’t drunk for 30 years and I have no desire to do so now.